Fathers and Sons

Do present and loving dads really matter in the lives of their sons and daughters? Read on for even more evidence on how critical it can be to a fulfilling life.

C.L.Sculzberger, former columnist for the New York Times, makes a strong case for the influence in his famous book "Fathers and Children--How Famous Leaders Were Influenced by Their Fathers."

It is important to note that not all influence was for the better of the child. Some of the fathers were as celebrated as their children and some of the parents were overshadowed by the fame of their offspring.

Pushing For Success

Leopold Mozart maneuvered his son all over the world showing him off and forcing his way into places that would advance the career of his son. Joseph P. Kennedy began grooming Jack F. for the American presidency when his oldest Joe Jr. was killed in World WarII.

Would their sons have become as celebrated without the dominating influence of the father? No one knows that answer. Nor do we know how many males could have become better men had their father just paid them a little attention and cared about them as a person.

Can and Should a Dad Be Part of his Son's Life?

The answer is yes. As a Parent Educator, I have visited and taught hundreds of families and have witnessed many fatherless sons. I have seen and felt the many single Moms struggling to make sense of what their sons need and want from life.

As important as mothers, grandmothers, aunties and female teachers are, boys need other positive male role models to guide and teach them how to be kind, thoughtful and respectful men.

No matter how close a mother and son are in sharing food, housing and bathroom space, a boy needs to find a good male example to follow and emulate.

Where to Find Safe and Willing Male Role Models

Coaches, teachers, ministers, scout leaders, uncles, grandfathers and neighbor friends can all play an important part in teaching masculine skills in a nurturing male environment. Contrary to news about adult males taking advantage of young men, most are good, kind and responsible. However, teach your son that if he gets any sort of negative vibe or feels uncomfortable to leave the area and he can tell you and you will believe him.

A good place that I have suggested to many single moms looking for a strong male influence for their sons is volunteer work. When you sign up as a family to volunteer at the Food Pantry, the males are naturally drawn to loading trucks together.

Please do not imagine that I want to separate the sexes or do not see women unloading trucks. Our daughters are every bit as strong as our son. What I am saying, is that if there is a male mentor, it will be easier for your son to gravitate to him while doing community work. It won't seem so arranged, but will occur naturally.

Studies have shown that adolescent boys have to know they are important to a man whom they respect in order to develop self-confidence and a strong sense of identity. As parents, we need to expose our children to as many respectful, honest, kind and thoughtful people of both sexes as possible.

If You Are A Dad Reading This

Even if you have felt that you have been rejected in the past by your kids, try again. Make an effort to be involved and stay involved in the life of your sons and daughters.

They need you and you need them.

Help Build a Confident and Courageous Man

Please go to http://www.AskAuntieArtichokeAnything.com to claim your free eBook on Encouraging Words & Phrases You will be glad you did.

Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members, coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults. Judy Helm Wright--Author/PetParent/IntuitiveWiseWoman