Fatal attraction

Are you afraid of death?

This is one of the questions that people ask themselves or those around them. Are you scared or not?

You would have some reasons, wouldn't you? After all, no one knows what comes after death, but then why be afraid of it? If you don't know if it will be better or worse, why be afraid? Why not rejoice? Why not think there's something better out there in the other world. See? Even from these words the other world , we can realize that people have the hope that there is something after you die, because from the beginning they see the world we live in and what is after death as two different worlds. I? I'm not so sure. But I still don't have a concrete opinion.

I read somewhere, however, that people want to believe that there is heaven and hell, or at least something, because the human mind could not accept that there is nothing. That with death, our existence ends as if we never existed.

Again, I don't know what to think.

Let's go back to the original question, Are you afraid of death ? Well, I think humans are not afraid of death in themselves and they are afraid of the moment you die.

After you die, it's supposed to be quiet. Peace.

But when do you die? That transition between life and death, that moment can often be painful. Violent.

I didn't think much about how I was going to die, but somehow I always knew I wasn't going to be 80 in a warm bed, just to close my eyes and never open them again. We all want that, I know. But I also know that my death will not be like that. Don't ask me how I know, I have no idea, it's just a feeling I have about my death.

And now I ask you again, Are you afraid of death ?

Every time someone asked me this question, or I asked myself, I always took a moment to answer, and I always answered the same thing:

It's really stupid to be afraid of something that inevitably will it happens .

And then there were a few words that I added, and I always got puzzled when I said them: Why be

afraid , when in the end , there are things much worse than death? Run away!

Do n't look back . _ Run away! My mind is stuck on one word , it clings to it as if if it keeps repeating it , it will save me indefinitely . Run, Rose!

I shudder and open my eyes, sweaty lake. I look around confused and it takes me a moment to remember that I'm not home. The moonlight enters the dirty window of the tiny, musty-smelling apartment. I massage my sore throat because of the hard mattress on this tiny, dirty bed. I take my phone from the nightstand and see that it's 5:20, in half an hour at most, it's going to be light, so I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. No one knows how long it took, in fact, it's only three steps from the bed to the little bathroom where I can barely get back. I swear if I fainted I wouldn't even have a place to fall.

I fumbled for a few moments after the switch, I found it after a few seconds, still not used to this apartment.

A faint light bulb flickers a few times before it lights up and almost scares me when I look at myself in the mirror.

My strands of hair are cut unevenly and my reddish roots can be seen, which stand out in contrast to the paint of a washed-out blonde with which I dyed myself. Damn! It's only been a week and I need to paint again! I also have dark circles around my eyes and my lips are dry. What if I didn't have my makeup kit ... No! Stop! I'm not going to torture myself like this. I promised not to look back and that's what I'm going to do. I brush my teeth, brush my face with water, apply some of the cheap mascara I bought from a cheap store, and I pray that my eyelashes don't fall out, I run my hand through my hair a few times trying to fix a little disaster in my head and I go back to the bedroom.

Basically, I just turn on my heel and take a step and I'm in the bedroom. I don't have a real closet, so I have to keep my clothes in the backpack I brought with me. The only thing I have left of ... my former life.

But anyway, I make sure I always have my backpack ready, you never know when I should leave.

I put on the only pair of jinn I have, and in a black T-shirt, I take off a hooded blouse and go to the kitchen. The kitchen is five steps from the bedroom and is only slightly larger than the bathroom. It only has an oven with a stove, which I'm more than sure doesn't work, I haven't even tried it, a small sink and a cupboard.

I take my backpack and leave the apartment. I struggled a little to lock it because the door has some problems, since I've been living here, that is, for a week, I've been out twice. After checking if it's locked three times, I go downstairs and go out the block door.

I know it's not a good idea to walk the streets of New York with everything I have in my backpack, but it's still better than leaving it in that apartment. It's an apartment in some of the worst neighborhoods in town, but it's this or a park bench, and one night in those conditions, I got it.

I eat a stick of cereal, about what I ate every day for a week in the oven, I drink a little water and continue on my way.

I reach an intersection without a traffic light and I wait for a car to pass, then I step on it, I can't take two steps because I hear a horn and when I turn my head, a motorcycle brakes not a meter away from me.

A driver dressed completely in black, without a helmet, looked at me ugly:

-Did you go blind or what? See where you're going!

After he almost hit me with the motorcycle, do he still have figures? I point to his middle finger and continue on my way. I hear him spin his motorcycle engine as he leaves the intersection.

Crazy traffic. Crazy people! I swear this could be New York's slogan.

I pass various shops and restaurants. The smell of fresh bread and pretzels taken out of the oven makes my mouth water, but I don't stop.

I'm looking for shop windows to write about hiring, but it doesn't seem like my lucky day. In fact, I've been unlucky for a week since I've been looking for a job.

At noon I arrive near the park and stop for a break. I sit on the bench but I can't sit still. I look around me, the heat is too far away. I feel exposed, so I pull my hood over my head, get up from the bench, and continue on my way.

It's five o'clock when my legs start to ache and I'm hungry. I could eat another bar but I only have three left and I have to save money if I can't find a job. I could go back to the apartment, but if I go back, what do I do? It's just another lost day. So I keep going and I end up on a street with a grocery store, a betting club, and somewhere, right at the end of the street, I come across a bar. I can barely look up at him, but it's good that I looked and didn't just walk past him because I see a sign on the door with:

We need help !

This is my chance, I tell myself. I almost feel tingling in my back as I open the bar door and enter. It's not a big place, but it's not small either. It has a counter where drinks are served right in front, there is a dance floor on the left and tables with chairs and sofas. They even have a small VIP area.

I go to the counter where a girl, who looks a little older than me, with an earring on her lower lip and brown hair, caught in a ponytail, asks me:

-What should I serve you with?

-With nothing. I have. I saw you were hiring.

And I point to the door with the sign that we need help. She looks at me, I mean, she looks at me from head to toe, makes a rubber balloon, then leans her head back a little, and shouts, "

Yes! "

The one who is probably Dave appears from a room behind the bar and looks at the girl with the earring on his lip

:

I try to smile and I don't know what to say, then I think I shouldn't shut up if I want to get this job:

-Yes. I saw the poster outside. I'm Rose!

The man walks around the bar and comes towards me. He holds out his hand:

-Dave!

I look at him a little closer, he's about 40 years old, blond hair, short haircut and a thick voice probably from too much smoking:

-So he says you want to get a job?

I nod:

-How old are you?

I try to be as calm as possible when answering:

-21.

He doesn't seem to think he's believing me

. You have experience? Have you ever worked at the bar making drinks?

-Not.

-Waitress?

I shake my head and think I can say goodbye to my job when all of a sudden Dave sighs,

"An employee just left and I really need someone." Can you work on Friday and Saturday nights?

-Yes!

-All right. You're employed.

-Really? I miss

Dave nods.

-Can you start tonight? It doesn't look like that now, but on Friday nights it's always crowded. You take the orders and ask Lucy, she points to the girl with the earring on her lip at the bar, she'll teach you how to make some basic drinks, and we'll see how you do. The tips are all yours. We don't have a uniform, but it's best to dress a little more ... confident, she says and looks at my wide hooded blouse. If you pass by tonight and decide you want to stay, I'm waiting for you in my office tomorrow to talk about pay.

I nod and Dave disappears after the bar where his office is probably:

-So you're employed? the girl in the sky asked me ... Lucy

I nod and she smiles for the first time since I entered:

-Thank you God! I'm tired of running around like crazy between bars and taking orders.

I nod as if I understand what he's talking about, and I feel the need to introduce myself once more:

-I'm Rose!

-Know. You've said that before.

I feel my cheeks turn red but she starts laughing:

-I'm Lucy! Not Lus, or Lucinda! Lucy.

-Good.

Lucy leans over the bar counter, and her T-shirt reveals a little of her chest as she leans toward me.

"So, Rose, tell me, what is your favorite color?" How much time do you spend a day in front of the mirror and what would you choose between dogs and cats?

I know these are pretty stupid questions, but I think that's why I feel so embarrassed that I've landed here on another planet, and I have no idea what's going on. I look at Lucy, not Lus or Lucinda, and say, "

Green." I spend about 15 minutes in front of the mirror every day and I like dogs.

Lucy seems to be analyzing the answer:

-Eh, green is the right color. 15 minutes is acceptable, I hate narcissistic people who spend hours in front of the mirror. And dogs are a good answer. I hate cats, they're evil.

Then he grins, "

Yes." I think we'll get along.

Still confused, I look at her and think again about what I said this morning. Crazy people:

-Let me show you where the employees' room is so you can leave your things.

I walk around the bar and follow Lucy into a small room with a couch and a coffee table. I reluctantly put my back down:

-Don't be afraid, it's safe here, nothing has ever disappeared from this room.

I nod and release the backpack:

-I have to go back, because it will be crowded immediately. Do you have something to change?

-I have a T-shirt.

-Good. We don't have a uniform, but it would be better to dress in something sexier, that's how you grow your tips!

He winks at me and disappears from the room. Lucy might be the weirdest person I've ever met since I was in New York, and that says something. I take off my hooded blouse and straighten my hair a little.

I'm in a bar and I just got a job as a waitress. God! If someone had told me two weeks ago that it was going to happen, I would have laughed. But that would have been two weeks ago ... shaking my head. I have to learn not to think about what it was, just what it is and what it will be. I open the door and go back to the bar. Dave was right. The bar is really crowded on Fridays. So now I walk through the tables with a notebook in my hand to take orders. We only serve drinks but it's still hard for me to remember them and I don't want to make a mistake.

-Two glasses of whiskey and a tonic gin, I give Lucy the order and she nods

into the glasses and I take them to the table. There is music in the speakers and some young people are already dancing:

-Rose! Come for a second behind the bar, Lucy

Inconjor tells me the bar and I enter the employee area:

-I'm going to the bathroom, stay here for a second!

A little scared at the thought of someone asking me for a drink I won't know how to make, I look at Lucy. She probably noticed my horror because she said:

-No one is in line now, and only two minutes are left!

I nod and grab some glasses that I start wiping and arranging to get my work done while Lucy is away.

I hear a whistle and I come back thinking he's a customer. But when I look up, I see it's him. I mean, he. The one who was going to hit me on the motorcycle in the morning:

-You!

-I? he raises his eyebrows and grins. Do we know each other, cats?

-You were going to hit me with the motorcycle!

He frowned and only now seemed to make the connection:

-Ah, you're that crazy babe who jumped in front of me.

-I didn't jump anywhere! We cross the street regularly on the way!

-Without insuring.

-Yes, I made sure. Idiot what you are, I want to add, but I refrain because he is a customer. All right, what can I do for you?

-Depending on what you offer, he looks at my body with no shame and I can't help but lie down and slap it

-If you don't want anything to drink, then we have nothing to help you with here!

-Eh, we'll see ...

-How dare you ...

Her eyes turn to something behind me and then I notice that Lucy has returned:

-Hello, Lucy! the idiot greets her

- You're finally here! I was going to make you disappear!

-It was traffic.

Lucy rolls her eyes unimpressed. He looked at me. "

What's wrong with this girl?"

-It could be my fault. She's still undecided whether to come with me to the bathroom or make a fuss, says the idiot

-I don't ...

But Lucy starts laughing:

-So you met Adam? He's a guard here, he should make sure the idiots behave properly and kick them out if they don't. Although he's still here.

Adam grins at Lucy and notices that potholes form in both her cheeks. Allow me to analyze it a little better. High. Worked body, visible through black T-shirt and jeans. Brown, ruffled hair and green eyes. He looks pretty good, but he's still an idiot. An idiot I'm going to have to work with:

-So Dave hired you?

-Yes, Lucy answers in my place.

Adam looked at me.

-How old are you, doll?

-Don't call me a doll.

-Then tell me your name.

I don't want to tell her, but I don't want her to say,

"Rose."

- Rose. he repeats it and I don't know why the way he says it makes me feel a shiver in my stomach

-Oh, no, start! says Lucy

. I look at her confused.

"What's the beginning?"

-That look, he nods at Adam, is the look that I will seduce you and take you to my bed.

I snort confidently:

-Yes. Well, rest assured, it's not going to happen.

-Yes, that's all, says Lucy.

-Well, I'm serious, and I look at Adam to see that I'm serious.

-Okay, doll! But know that I like challenges!

Then he winks at me and walks over to the crowd. I take my notebook and go to take orders and take my customers' drinks.