Family Isn't Blood

Do you remember growing up and all you heard was "they're your family"? I remember hearing that phrase often, but what constitutes a family? Traditionally, a family is 2 parents with a child, that's what we've been told at least. Since being married, I realize that's also not true. My family is my husband and I, yes, we have our families we grew up with, but we are now a family, whether we have kids or pets.

Growing up, I had a second family. My best friends family, she is literally like a sister to me. We have been through so many things together, she is my support person. Her family has been a huge support to me. I experienced a lot of firsts with them, they were my safe place. My place to escape when home was chaotic. Her family had the difficult but necessary conversations with me. They have prayed with me, for me, and about me. They have loved me unconditionally, without borders, without restrictions. They have coached me and helped shape me into who I am today. Though, I am still changing and growing each and every day.

My sister and I grew up in church together, we were inseparable, attached at the hip, two peas in a pod! We know each others deepest secrets and desires and we love each other unconditionally, she is like a sister to me. She is not blood. We talked a lot when we were younger about living next to each other, having ours kids play together and grow up together; we have done half of that so far. We live right next door to each other and although we will not be able to do this forever, we're making the best of it right now.

This isn't to say we didn't have our share of issues and arguments, everyone does. We met in June 2006, we stopped being friends for about 4 years, but once we reconnected, it was like nothing had changed. It felt like we kept in touch and were actively friends the whole entire 4 years. She's my soul sister, my person in female form. Since we've reconnected, we both got married and she gave birth to 2 beautiful boys who I consider my nephews. They are such a joy and she is an incredible mother, she has all the qualities, strength, and patience I aspire to have when I'm a mom.

Family does not have to be blood. Families are people that are supportive, loving, helpful, and hard on you when it's needed, but loving in their delivery. They push you to succeed and help you along the way. They don't push you away or disown you because you make a bad decision. They don't belittle you. They encourage you and your growth, they let you sit and vent to them. They are a place where you feel safe and secure in who you are and their love for you. Their only goal is to help you succeed and watch you succeed.

Now don't get me wrong, there are families out there that are blood and have this type of family. I am so thankful for the family, blood and not blood that I do have. They are all important and have all played important roles in my life. Teaching moments have come from every member of my family. Some in a great way and some in a way that has been negative, but has created a positive for me.

If you have a family, blood or not blood, love on them unconditionally and be present with them. Never underestimate the family, even if they are not blood. Sometimes, the best family you can have, are those that are not related to you.