Excessive Pampering of Babies Is a Natural Thing

Baby pampering is not always a good thing! Of course, especially if you become a mom or dad for the first time, you can't deny her anything! Especially when he looks at you with his innocent eyes and asks you something, your heart softens and how can you say "no" to him !? Well, the child must learn this word too!

Excessive pampering of children can have negative effects on their development and integration into society: if you do not teach him from an early age that there are certain rules to follow and the reasons for these rules, he will believe that the world around him will always offer what he wants, without having to fight for that something! And life is far from that!

The negative effects that excessive pampering of children can have - both when they are young and after they grow up and get close to puberty, would be:

● The difficulty of adapting to the clear and strict rules of the school environment: once the child starts kindergarten or school, he will see that things are not going the same way and that not everyone revolves around him!

He will notice that he can't get everything he wants just by blinking his eyes and he will have difficulty learning and especially understanding the rules! If you as a parent did not learn it from an early age with the existence of rules and certain sanctions - mild - for violating them, the child will have real difficulties in understanding the new strict rules of the school environment!

And when the teacher applies sanctions for breaking the rules, the child will only understand that he is being treated badly by the "lady"!

● Likewise, pampering children when they are young can make it difficult for them to adapt to the group of other children, once they enter kindergarten/school! Why? The child sees that he is no longer in the center of attention and that he cannot get anything!

Moreover, he sees that other children may receive more rewards from the educator for their results! And so comes the jealousy - extremely intense emotion in the little ones!

● Regarding the school environment, the spoiled child will not understand why he has to do his homework! And the worst thing you can do as a parent is to do your homework! This way you will learn not only to be pampered but also lazy and not understand the value of individual work! Of course, you have to help him by explaining certain things to him from time to time, but do not spare him the effort by doing your homework!

Many parents do this because they want their child to be looked at with admiration for their intelligence at school - so they start writing their composition or solving their equations! But what will happen to the child and how will he learn if he does not work? He will get used to cheating, which can go to school and even later, to college, but not in life!

● Pampering children makes them laugh - with an extremely arrogant attitude and disregard for others. The child gets used to being the center of attention and only what he wants is important! Moreover, the total - or almost - lack of rules and especially of the immediate effects of their violation - sanctions - accustom him to the attitude "I do what I want when I want."

● Excessive pampering will lead to a lack of ability to get what you want or need through your means! If he gets used to it from an early age, but also after he grows up, that his parents are always there to give him what he asks for or to help him, he will not be able to work alone too soon to achieve the desired results!

He will not develop methods of action to obtain different things, but only methods of asking for those things as beautifully as possible!

● Regarding the last idea - pampering children in excess, at the limit, can contribute to maladaptation in life: you know those young people who, at the age of 30, still live at home with their mother, who makes them food, washes their panties and spoils them as if they were 10 years old?

Well, it's also the parents' fault; the father was not authoritarian enough or maybe he was a missing figure, while the mother, loving her child so much, suffocated him with her love and attention until he did not develop any abilities to manage on his own. (because she wanted to do everything for her baby), no desire or power to break away from this emotional environment, but so suffocating!

The young man remains from a point of view at a psychological age of immaturity! Usually, this process takes place in the case of boys - young girls are much more detached from their family environment once they meet a suitable partner with a good job.

So, pay attention to the pampering of children: it is a good thing emotionally - you have to show the child how much you love and support him, but you have to avoid suffocating him! And especially, when the age of adolescence comes, teach him to manage on his own, he doesn't help him with anything and he doesn't always stay around him!

And materially, pampering children should be less common: he has to learn from an early age that he can't always get what he wants and especially that he has to work to get what he wants in life! That's why, although your heart may hurt, you still have to refuse - when he asks too much - explaining that he can't have so many things for free!

And in adolescence, he should be encouraged to try to work alone for the money he spends: of course, not a full-time job, which would sabotage his education, but at least to perform household chores for which you pay him!

Beware of one thing: often fathers - those who should be the authoritarian figure - over-indulge their children - especially girls - out of guilt because they are too much away from home or for other reasons known to them! But this is not the way to win the love of the child: you leave for a week, then you come with a doll!

Sure, it has effects right now, when the child is happy with the new toy, but as he grows up, he will realize the strategy! So, the only way for parents who are away from home is to spend as much time as possible with their children - not only in their presence but also doing different activities together.

Therefore, imposing clear and easy-to-understand rules is essential since the child is small - about 3–4 years old, when he begins to distinguish between good and evil when he begins to be able to predict the results of his actions!

Simple rules and especially the explanation of the existence of those rules "you are not allowed to go there, because you can make a bad mistake!". It's not as difficult as you might think to explain the rules - even at an early age - but most parents don't bother to explain them, based on their authority as adults! Neither the pampering of the child nor a laissez-faire parenting style, but no authoritarian style has too good an effect on the child's development - as in many other issues, the keyword is balance!