Evidence of Love

Evidence of Love

This is a story told by Silent Hearing Setouchi.

Setouchi Silent Hearing is a famous Japanese nun writer, a Japanese cultural meritocrat, and now a great monk of the Tendai sect. When she was young, her name was Harumi. She married while attending Tokyo Women's University, and after giving birth to her eldest daughter, she abandoned her husband and eldest daughter and eloped with her lover because she fell in love with her husband's student. After her divorce, Harumi wrote several love stories and won awards such as the "Women's Literary Award", especially the vernacular translation of "The Tale of Genji", which made her famous. On the afternoon of the third Sunday of every month, she gave a dharma talk at the Silent Garden in Kyoto.

One day, Silent Hearing continued to give teachings at the silent temple to a large audience of married women. When it came to the issue of affairs, Silent Hearing asked everyone in the audience, "If any of you think you are the most unfortunate person, please raise your hand." Immediately, many women raised their hands.

So Silent Hearing told this story.

One day, a woman came to Silent Mother and talked to Silent Hearing about her husband. She said that her husband was handsome, hardworking, and devoted to herself and her children.

Six months ago, the wife's husband died. Not long after that, two guests came to the house, a young woman led a girl who looked exactly like her own daughter.

The young woman bowed toward the wife and said, "Madam, I'm sorry to bother you."

The madam asked, "What are you?"

The young woman replied, "I have been under the care of your husband."

"What kind of care?"

"Your husband was responsible for our maintenance and support during his lifetime."

"What do you want?"

"I would like to see your husband's ashes."

So the wife let the mother and daughter into the house. She loved her husband very much, and the pain of his loss made her hold his ashes every day and not let go of them.

The young woman, who seemed to know everything, said to her, "I once asked your husband what I should do if he died in his own home. He said, "Don't go to the funeral, wait until after the funeral and then go to my house, and the one in my house will naturally share half of my ashes with you."

This time the wife could no longer control her emotions and unceremoniously gave the expulsion order.

The sad wife said to Silence, "I always believed in my husband, but I never thought he would lie to me all my life."

Silent Hearing replied, "Why are you sad? You should feel happy! Think about how much pressure your husband must have been under to keep you in the dark for the rest of your life! Isn't this the best proof that he won't leave you and loves you?"

After finishing the story, Silent Hearing said to the people present, "In fact, there are many people in this world who are suffering the same way as you are, and if you think this way, you will feel much better."

Do you agree with this statement of Silent Hearing? One thing can be agreed: between men and women, when one party lies to the other, is not the worst time for both sides of the relationship; once the party to the other party confessed, completely honest, that this is the worst time. This shows two things: first, the other party will not put you in the eye; second, the other party is determined to go out and break the pot. If the "first", the wise choice is to give up; if the "second", how the result depends on your tolerance of the heart.

I often hear people say that tenderness is the greatest charm of women, but not. Look around, most gentlewomen are easy to hurt women. Women's greatest charm, perhaps should have "put down" and "inclusion" these two abilities - for people and things that can not change, to have " Put down the ability"; for people and things still worth cherishing, to have the "ability to tolerate".

Of course, the choice of "let go" or "tolerance" depends on their wisdom.