Eight Ball

Jackie had a decision to make, and there was only one way to make it.

It wasn’t a difficult decision. But, when you’ve come across a foolproof way of making the right decision every time, it was hard not to use it.

This was Jackie’s weekend with her father. She didn’t particularly have that much fun at her dad’s. He did his best, but he was out of touch and they didn’t have anything in common. His new girlfriend wasn’t that great either—despite the fact that she was closer to Jackie’s age than she was to Jackie’s father’s, which made Jackie wonder how much they could possibly have in common. From what Jackie could tell, the qualities and interests they shared weren’t all that desirable. So, typically, Jackie went to Dad’s place and suffered through a dinner, maybe two, and watched TV or scrolled through social media on her phone until they inevitably went out or took to the back bedroom to get stoned or high or whatever it was they did back there.

This weekend, however, there was a party. And Jackie really wanted to go. Chad, the head of the chess team was going to be there. Jackie had been hearing rumors that he was into her, and she’d started a few of her own that she was into him, hoping that they’d make their way to him. There had been some looks passed in the hallway, but Chad was shy and Jackie could be awkward so neither had approached each other. This weekend was her opportunity to change that. When Charlie had told her about the party, she also informed her of a rumor she’d heard that Chad was asking about Jackie and whether she would be there. Jackie almost blurted out “yes!” before she remembered it was her dad’s weekend. He lived a couple of hours away and she still hadn’t gotten her license yet. Dad promised every weekend that he was going to teach her how to drive and it still hadn’t happened. Mom didn’t even own a car.

“I don’t know,” Jackie had said, hoping Charlie wouldn’t press.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Charlie pressed.

“I mean,” Jackie bit her lip. “I mean, it’s my dad’s weekend. So, let me think about it.”

But Jackie had no intention of thinking about it.

One of life’s most stressful situations is decision making. Especially when it came to something as life-altering as a party at which the boy of your dreams may be. Would it hurt Dad’s feelings if she wanted to stay here and attend the party this weekend? Would she ever get another chance to speak with Chad outside of school? Would Chad think she didn’t like him if she didn’t show up? How could you possibly make the right decision?

But she didn’t have to worry about that.

She rushed up to her room the moment she got home, tossing her book back down on the pile of shoes next to the door and ignoring Mom’s call from the kitchen. She was probably just wondering what Jackie wanted for dinner, anyway, and Jackie didn’t care right now. There were more important decisions to be made.

She burst through her door and slammed it behind her. She went to the bookcase that stood against the wall directly opposite her bed. The shelves were filled with books and knick-knacks, stuffed animals and awards from school—both academic and athletic. She reached for A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle, wedged between a Patrick Ness trilogy and a couple of Neal Shusterman novels. She’d never gotten around to finishing the book, but it certainly hadn’t collected any dust.

She took it to her bed and listened for any indication that her mother had followed her upstairs. When she heard none, she flipped open the front cover and used a fingertip to pull back the first twenty pages or so.

The open book revealed a hollowed-out space on the left-hand side. The center of the majority of the pages had been cut away, leaving around twenty pages in the front and the back to hide the hiding place. Within the square sat a small black notebook. It was plain with an elastic band wrapped around the book’s open edge to hold it closed. A simple sticker—a black 8 on a white background—looked up at Jackie from the center of the front cover.

Jackie pulled the notebook from its hiding place and glanced over her shoulder at the bedroom door. Still no sign of Mom. Good.

She undid the elastic strap and took hold of the soft fabric poking out of the bottom of the book that marked the last page on which she had written. She flipped it open and took the pen from where it had lain beside the book in the hiding space.

Once upon a time, she began on a fresh page. Jackie was invited to a party. She was excited about the party because a boy would be there. This boy could be the love of her life. Sadly, the party was on the same weekend she was supposed to visit her dad. What was she to do?

“Jackie?” Jackie slammed the book shut and pushed everything out of her lap and into the floor at the sound of Mom’s voice. It was only afterward that she realized she was calling from downstairs. “Dinner is ready!”

“Okay, Mom!” She called back. “I’ll be right down!” Jackie collected her things from the floor and took a glance at what she had written. It would be enough. She replaced the notebook, replaced the book acting as a hiding place, and opened the door to the smell of delivery pizza.

Jackie was awake well before her alarm went off the next morning. She swung her legs out of bed and hugged her naked arms in the cool pre-dawn air that had forced its way through the walls of the little house. She pulled A Wrinkle in Time from the bookshelf and took it back to her bed. She pulled the covers back over her and removed the notebook from its hiding place once again. She used the ribbon to flip to the page she had written in last night and began to read.

Once upon a time… She skimmed through the few sentences she had written down to the end. What was she to do? She loved her dad, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings…it continued. But, what if this was her only opportunity to find love? Just as it had so many times before, the story continued in handwriting identical to her own. It laid out her fears and her hopes as if she’d written it herself with a clarity she feared she would never have discovered herself. It explored her options and the consequences. But, she was too excited about this decision. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted so badly to go to the party. She could always visit Dad next weekend. And while she wanted to know the consequences of her actions—which the book always laid out in great detail, and was never wrong—she was too impatient. She just wanted to know what the book had decided. She skimmed over everything until she found what she was looking for.

So, Jackie went to the party to see Chad. They talked all night long. The next morning—

Jackie was so caught up in what she was reading that she didn’t realize she was nearing the end of the book. It was the final line of the final page and it just stopped. She’d never actually considered what would happen at the end of the book. It had just always been there. Whether it was something as simple as which movie to see the next day or something as important as which of her parents to live with. The notebook had always given her the answers. Now here she was faced with what could be the most important decision of her life and this was all she had?

The book said she went to the party. Was that her decision? It didn’t tell what the consequences were. But it had never told her that she did something that turned out to be bad. She read it again.

The next morning—

Again, the book had never portrayed her making a bad decision. And the book’s decision was that she went to the party. So, she should go to the party. Right?

The alarm on her phone began to buzz and she sprang across the bed to poke at the snooze button. She rolled over on her back and placed her hands on her head, her fingers entwined in her frizzy natural curls. She had an odd feeling about the way the story ended this time. It didn’t seem as natural as the others. But, oh, this was so very much what she wanted.

The book never steered her wrong.

She broke out into a great smile. She rolled over and snatched her phone, the charging cord popped out with a loud snick and dangled over the edge of her nightstand. She sent a text to Charlie.

This weekend! Let’s party!

The book had never steered her wrong.

Dad was fine with Jackie staying home this weekend, citing something that had “come up” which would require his attention this weekend anyway. He didn’t expand; she didn’t ask.

Mom was fine with Jackie going to the party. She told her to be careful, call her if she needed a ride home and be home by eleven. When Charlie stopped by to pick her up, Jackie told Mom she loved her and as she was heading out the door she stopped and turned to face Mom who was standing in the hall under the dim light, gnawing at her fingernails.

“Don’t worry, Mom.”

And she confidently headed down the steps to Charlie’s car.

Jackie met Chad at the party and they did talk all night. They talked at the party. They texted as Charlie drove her home. They texted until 2 am before the three little dots stopped appearing in the text window and Jackie assumed he must have fallen asleep. Jackie stayed up until 4 am thinking about the notebook.

The next morning—

What could happen in the morning? Would she wake up to a text?

Sorry, I crashed!

What are you up to this weekend?

GM beautiful ;)

Jackie hated that it was Friday night. She’d have to wait until Monday to see Chad. It was a lifetime away.

The next morning, in the haze between sleep and consciousness, Jackie heard voices. She blinked before swinging her legs out of bed. Before she got to the door, she heard Mom scream.

Jackie raced to the stairs and stopped halfway down at the sight of two police officers in the doorway. Mom was leaning against the wall, sobbing, a hand clenching her stomach.

Mom noticed Jackie on the stairs and motioned her down, regaining her composure. She thanked the officers and they stepped outside as Mom ushered Jackie into the living room and onto the couch.

“What’s going on?” Jackie could hear the quiver in her own voice.

“Honey,” her mom said. She sniffed before going on. “It’s your father…”

Jackie grew nauseated as Mom explained that what had “come up” last night was a high-stakes billiards tournament. Dad had won around twenty thousand dollars, but the men felt they'd been played. When Dad tried to flee they chased him down. The police found him in an alley, beaten to death, this morning.

The next morning.

Jackie just stared. She didn’t know what to do. What should she do? She thought of the book with the 8-ball sticker.

The book had never steered her wrong.

And now there was no more space.