Do Your Children Attend An Elite Private School?

I shared the content of this story with the “Parent Affinity Group” at the Ellis School during a virtual meeting commemorating Black History Month on February 17, 2022. This group supports the needs of Black parents with girls enrolled in this independent school. My message for the parents was recorded on my “Ignite Family Engagement” YouTube channel. A link to this recording is located at the end of the story.

My wish for readers is to embrace encouragement as you reflect on my words.

Black History Month is a time of deep reflection and it is a time of unapologetic celebration.

As a family engagement influencer, former Ellis School parent of seven years, experienced teacher, school and district-level administrator, professor of education, and mother and only parent of a rising gymnast, I would like to share some words to inspire you. In doing so, I hope that you will become more encouraged to engage with your child’s educators and school leaders at a deeper level.

I would like to set the stage for my conversation with you by sharing a definition that I developed for family engagement. More than being involved in your child’s education at home and school and more than participating in events at their school, family engagement is so much more. It refers to

“the mutual dedication, cooperation, and support that educators, parents, and other caregiver share as students are being educated.”

Family engagement is about the two-way partnership that must prevail between parents, teachers, and school leaders.

Celebrate Your Choice

As we celebrate Black History Month, I would like to encourage you to also celebrate the “Five C’s” of your child’s education.

The Five C’s are choice, communication, collaboration, confidence, and community.

1. The first C is choice.

Commemorate the choice you have made for the education of your children.

The decision you make as parents about the type of school that you enroll your children in is connected to your family values and goals. Some of the specific expectations you have in a school include safety, a high level of academic rigor resulting from a challenging curriculum, and a learning environment free of disruptions caused by poorly behaved students. These are examples of some basic values that you adhere to when choosing the school that you consider best for your children

2. The second C is communication.

Honor the communication that is at your disposal within your child’s school.

As a mother or father, you hold the key to making sure it remains mutual. Don’t expect all the communication to be from the school. Reciprocate and initiate communications especially if you need clarity or have concerns. Communicate courageously and persistently if that is what you need to do to ensure that your child’s educational needs are being met in a loving and supportive school.

3. The third C is collaboration.

Remember the role that collaboration plays in the education of our children

There is power in unity. Work together with your child’s educators to support common goals that you share for them.

Don’t expect your school to assume the full responsibility to educate your child. Do your part to continue extending their educational experiences even if they attend a prestigious school. Also, if there are areas of expertise that you possess, especially as it relates to race or any other area of cultural competence that will extend the capacity of teachers, offer support and partner with the educators.

4. The fourth C is confidence.

As an engaged parent, you must uphold confidence with self-assurance. This is related to maintaining positive determination that ensures that positive relationships are fostered with your child’s educators.

Confidence equates to empowerment and knowing that you have the sustained right to remain an active member of your child’s educational team. Confidence is not related to assuming a posture of comfort and a high level of pride because of the type of school your children attend.

We cannot be so consumed with our children being in an exclusive school that we overlook or remain blind to any concerns that may exist. Nor can we conclude that problems involving our children and their educational program should be ignored because a special privilege was extended to our children to enroll in the school that concludes that you must adhere to a code of silence. As a parent, you must remain empowered to be a change agent and you must speak up when your voice is required.

5. The fifth C is community.

Memorialize the sense of community that must remain your guiding light as parents. No school environment is perfect. Any area of improvement that is required becomes impossible to achieve with one voice. However, when members of a community remain active participants, concerns that exist within the school are more apt to become resolved.

Here are two points to remember about active community membership: power resides in unity and community amplifies your presence.

As Black parents, you cannot remain silent because your children are privileged to receive their education in the environment that they do. You must endeavor to work together to ensure that neither you nor your child’s voice, presence, and identity are neither oppressed, suppress, or erased. When there are areas where enhancements, corrections, and advancements must take place, persevere, and work together with others, like you, who may feel marginalized or underrepresented.

My Final Word

As we celebrate the authentic meaning of Black History Month based on what is authentic to us as Black parents, I hope that my words inspired you to remain engaged with your child’s educators and school leaders within your school community.

The link for the recorded version is shown below on my Ignite Family Engagement YouTube channel on "Family Engagement Empowerment: Information for Private and Independent School Black Parents".

If this story helped you to think about what your role as an engaged parent of a Black or mixed race child who attends an elite school, consider sharing it on your social media platforms. Also, please consider adding a tip to help fund my work to increase family engagement.

I am also a content creator on YouTube. Be sure to visit my "Ignite Family Engagement" channel to view all my videos related to the role of parents in education. Here is the link:

Thank you.

This story was originally self-published in Afro Scribe on Medium.com.