“Do What You Can, When You Can”: Sarah Petersen on Military Life, Surrogacy, and Service Through Family

Like their partners in uniform, military spouses also feel called to serve in a unique way. Their strong sense of service, deep commitment to family, and drive to support their communities deeply align with helping others build a family. In celebration of Military Spouse Appreciation Day, we’re honored to share the surrogate story of Sarah Petersen — a powerful example of answering the call, both through military service and the gift of surrogacy.

Sarah Petersen’s life is one of strength, deep compassion, and purposeful service. As a military spouse of nearly 20 years and an experienced surrogate, Sarah embodies resilience and the belief that when you’re in a position to help someone else — you do.

A Life Rooted in Service

Sarah lives in North Carolina, surrounded by the peace of the mountains and three rambunctious dogs. Although her husband, a captain in the U.S. Coast Guard, is currently stationed elsewhere, their nearly two-decade marriage has weathered countless moves, and the uncertainty that comes with military life.

“I’m not a single parent,” Sarah clarifies, “but I am kind of single parenting it.” Their 17-year-old son is the reason Sarah now lives separately from her husband. After years of frequent moves, they decided to keep their son in one place through high school, prioritizing stability after a childhood spent switching schools and starting over.

That kind of decision reflects a broader truth about military families — service doesn’t stop with the person in uniform. Children serve. Spouses serve. And the cost, while often invisible, is real.

Finding Community Through Compassion

Sarah speaks candidly about the challenges of being a military spouse. The hardest part? Making and losing friends repeatedly. “You work really hard to make friends,” she says. “And then you leave.”

With the Coast Guard being the smallest branch of the military — with only about 40,000 service members and very little base housing — Sarah’s family often lived “on the economy,” blending into civilian communities without the tight-knit infrastructure other branches might offer. In each new place, she had to start from scratch.

So she got creative. “Volunteering was how I built community,” she says. From park cleanups to food banks, Sarah found connection through giving back — something that’s become a lifelong habit.

Her advice for other military spouses? “Everyone wants connection. Don’t talk yourself out of showing up because you think people already have friends. They want connection, just like you do.”

A Career That Reflects Her Values

Professionally, Sarah has always been drawn to roles that offer support. With a background as a licensed clinical mental health counselor, she now works in surrogacy, where she helps intended parents and surrogates navigate complex situations with empathy and clarity.

“I like to say when things get complicated, I help,” she explains. “The universe says I belong here,” she laughs.

Her work in surrogacy isn’t just a job — it’s a continuation of the themes that define her life: care, service, and making meaningful connections.

Becoming a Surrogate: “I Wanted to Be Part of Someone’s Happy Ending”

Years ago, Sarah made a decision that surprised nearly everyone she knew: she became a surrogate.

“At the time, it wasn’t something most people had a direct connection to,” she says. “People didn’t understand. They’d ask, ‘Why would you do that?’ Especially because I had a hard pregnancy with my own child — and I didn’t enjoy being pregnant!”

But that, Sarah says, is where duty stepped in.

“I wanted to be part of someone’s happy ending. My body could do this miraculous thing — carry healthy babies — and I wanted to share that gift.”

Sarah carried for two fathers, an experience that continues to bring her joy years later. “There is so much love in that family,” she says, her voice full of emotion. “Every time I talk to them, it makes my heart happy.” Sarah lights up when she talks about seeing those children grow, knowing she played a role in building their family.

“It gave me confidence in myself,” she reflects. “It showed me I have the capacity to do something hard and meaningful.”

The Parallels Between Surrogacy and Military Life

At first glance, surrogacy and military life might seem worlds apart. But for Sarah, there are striking similarities.

“Both require resilience, selflessness, and the ability to follow through even when things are uncomfortable or difficult,” she says. “Whether it’s giving yourself hormone injections with giant needles or packing up your life every few years, you do what needs to be done for the greater good.”

Surrogacy, she adds, is often viewed as a purely selfless act — but she believes that misses something important.

“It is selfless, yes, but it’s also deeply fulfilling,” she says. “It meets a need inside — to do something bigger than yourself. To give. To contribute. To know you put good into the world.”

Advice for Aspiring Surrogates and Military Spouses

When asked what she wishes more people understood about surrogacy and military life, Sarah doesn’t hesitate:

“For military spouses — just know that this life impacts everything. Your career path, your mental health, your support system. It’s worth it, but it’s hard.”

And for those considering surrogacy?

“If you’re curious, pursue it. There are things that might disqualify you, but you shouldn’t be one of them. You don’t have to commit right away. Just explore it.”

She emphasizes how surrogacy can be transformative — not just for the intended parents, but for the surrogate too. “You get to end each day knowing you did something beautiful.”

“Just Put Good Into the World”

Sarah lives by a simple mantra: “Do what you can, when you can. Just put good into the world.”

Whether supporting her husband through a long and decorated Coast Guard career, parenting a son who’s moved more times than most adults, helping people on their family-building journeys, or carrying a child for two fathers, Sarah Petersen has consistently chosen to serve.

Her story is a testament to what happens when love leads the way — when connection is prioritized over comfort, and when one person’s capacity to give transforms the lives of many.

Inspired by Sarah’s story? Learn how surrogacy empowers military families.