Death by baby steps part 3

Statement to my Union Representative

Friday 8th December

I was asked to lower a blind by a resident as the sun was very low in the sky. I went to lower the blind accidentally knocked over a floor lamp; as the lampstand fell down it fell apart so lampshade, bulb and stand were separate as I went to put the shade back onto the lamp stand I was give an electric shock on my right hand. The electric shock knocked out all the electrical sockets in the immediate area so much so that the fuse board had to be reset. When I was being given them the electric shock I screamed and jumped back and obviously let go, this was witnessed by a carer Maud and several residents. I called down to reception to let them know and to send the maintenance man up to deal with the lamp while I went down to reception to fill out the accident incident Form. Once I pointed out the lamp and told Marcus what had happened he discovered that the lampshade was too tight around the lampstand which pulled off some of the insulation sheathing which is why I got shocked. After this I filled out the form and gave it to the home manager Sienna who didn't even ask me if I was ok, by this time I had pins and needles, numbness and pain in my right hand. Sienna just sign the form and didn't really say anything I was really shocked that none of the three nurses in the building was sent to at least have a look at my hand. I was also expected to continue my shift as normal so I did despite the pain that I'm used to dealing with thanks to my fibromyalgia.

Monday 11th December

Sent an email to say I will be walking into work as I'm not comfortable to drive in snow and might be late. Walked in to work took 1 hour 45 minutes made it into work by 8:40am Lily came to find me as I shift ended to ask whether I came in late or what time I arrived to make sure that if I've been late that I was staying on to make up the time. I had put on three activities that day - hairdressing, guitarist and baking mince pies. I wasn’t asked how it went or if I'm ok even though Lily is aware of my joint pain and exhaustion problems.

Tuesday 12th December

I was supposed to be assisting residents to go to a pantomime. I brought Evan and Vivian to reception and felt that they were safe under the watchful eyes of reception staff, a volunteer Ricky and work experience student Carly. I felt under pressure to get all residents to join in with the baking activity and wasn't aware that Ricky would turn up that day as he's been off with a knee injury for the past 6 weeks. There was a bit of confusion as to who was going with the residents to the pantomime and who was going to cover the baking, it seemed that no one felt capable of letting Ricky run a baking event without me. I let Katherine go in my place on the pantomime especially as Katherine has never seen one before. I was previously instructed by management to do activities such as baking, in public areas in order to boost the image of the home. Whilst I was rounding up the residents, Evan had tried to stand up from his chair Ricky apparently tried to encourage him to stay and Evan being startled ran out the front door. I wasn't present at the time I probably should have got a carer to cover reception, made carers bring residents to me or locked the front door. Lily took me into her office to tell me what it happened; she explained that I've been there long enough and should know better. To leave residents alone with inexperience people, I felt so under pressure at that point that I cried, Lily told me to get myself together because the residents are depending on me. I totally agreed that I probably should have done something to contain the residents however I could not have predicted Evan's response. Lily said I needed and to get myself together but I couldn't stop crying so she told me to take 5 minutes I then went to the staff room toilets to cry incredibly hard. I then walked on to ward 4 thinking I had stop crying and found myself with Francis and June who then further comforted me, once I had spent some time with them after telling them what had happened; June took me aside and we had a chat about how bad things are. It wass all going to the dogs. I felt a lot better after this, I then went downstairs walked through ward 2 and back on to reception where I sat with Evan until I was dismissed by Team Leader Nicky who said that the baking people were waiting for me to start.

Wednesday 13th December

On the Tuesday afternoon, I had been told by May that a lady from HR Sheila (I was told that she was angry/upset with me after a previous meeting) would need to see me on my following shift. I pre-warned May via email on the Tuesday evening that I would need to pop out for 11 o'clock which was a doctor's appointment are urgently needed to attend. May only replied with was "will see you before the appointment" which I presume meant that we would have the meeting before my appointment. May actually meant for me to make sure I came into work before my appointment. I later found out that she had arranged meeting for the afternoon. I was asked to help get the residents ready to leave for the pantomime and did so. Having been told off about Evan the previous day I stayed in reception with residents past the time I needed to leave to be on time for the doctor's appointment. I was not able to attend to my doctor's appointment in time so despite having rung the surgery to say I was running late. I basically cried in the GPs reception who directed me to the surgery councillor Simon who I booked an appointment for the following day at 9.35am and then I was very upset in my car and I informed work that I wouldn't be returning as I was too upset and stressed. I rang May to inform work, she informed me that "things would have to proceed even though I haven't had my start date from Order of St John's Trust" I didn't really understand what that meant. Maybe that I was going to be sacked? That they were going to manage me out of my job? All that may be the change in hours would have to go ahead as I wasn't going to be turning up to argue my point about a flexible working arrangement. The following day I attended the GPs for my counselling session with Simon who recommended to my GP (who I visited that afternoon) he recommended that I should be signed off work for a couple of weeks. He felt this would help me calm down and rest because I was becoming overwhelmed with workplace stress on top of the rest of my life and my pre-existing anxiety problems. The GP agreed that Simon's recommendation was a reasonable one and sign me off for 2 weeks and I got a repeat prescription of my antidepressants. Unfortunately, I had to take my children along to my appointment with the doctor so my discussion with her were very clips and coded as I don't like them to see me cry or know that there's a problem. I emailed May and Lily later that day to send them a picture of my sick note which states "work-related stress" as the reason I wouldn't be attending until the 28th of December.