Dear Mum

Dear Mum

Dear Mum, you won’t see this and I’m not sure how long it will be until I am able to build up the courage to say this to you in person. For now it’s something. The world deserves to experience such an extraordinary woman.

A car accident, you were 15 years old. You were hit by a truck while crossing the road, multiple breaks throughout your body, brain damage, you were a mess.

This accident broke you, in all ways possible. Taken to the hospital in critical condition, they lost you three times, you left this planet three times.

Your body kept giving up, the damage was too severe, you were in a place nobody could come back from, a place beyond what I can ever imagine or experience, beyond what anyone can ever imagine or experience, nobody knew how you were still alive, the doctors were astonished and every time just as they went to give up on bringing you back you came back on your own.

Once you were stabilised they told Nan about the irreversible damage that you wouldn’t be able to walk, talk, have children, or work. The doctors said that you would be in intensive care for the remainder of your life, that the damage was too severe. You were 15 years old and they were forecasting a whole life of despair for you, they said it was impossible for you to be anything more than the damage you were.

You laid in the bed for weeks in a coma, would you come back? Nobody knew, it was unlikely and the person everyone once knew was definitely not coming back, the damage was too far gone.

As the weeks went on you finally woke up, in extreme discomfort and pain but you were awake. You knew your situation, you didn’t need the doctors to tell you, you knew that you couldn’t move, that you didn't know how to speak, you didn’t know who you were or who everyone else was and that your body was destroyed.

It was as if you were born into a world of physical pain.

Was this your fate, was this the start of the rest of your life? Pain, limitation and sorrow? The only option in this life which the doctors forecasted was to live a life as a paraplegic with immense brain damage.

No you did not accept this, you were not going to let this world tell you who you are or be limited by your circumstances, instead you decided that even if you don’t know who you are you were going to show this world who you were.

At first your legs didn't work so you crawled everywhere, you couldn’t talk so you murmured until your sounds became words and you couldn’t remember anything so you re-learnt everything.

You had to do physiotherapy and teach yourself how to walk and feel again, you fell face first on the ground many times but you did not give up, you had to learn the abc’s and basic english and learn again what family was, what friendship was and what it meant to be alive. You had to learn colours, shapes, how to problem solve and how to memorise.

Everything was new, everything seemed impossible and painful.

Slowly but surely you started to come back from a point of no return. It took months for you to seem like a normal human being again externally, no matter the pain you were willing to endure at all costs to make sure that you get to enjoy this beautiful life, that you will be able to live a life like everyone else.

With metal plates all through your body, over your skull and immense headaches, joint pains and complete memory loss. With your body rejecting sound, sight and smell as it was too painful to be alive, that everything your body did just created more pain you decided to keep going. You decided that this was not your fate, this was not your end and that you will make it through to the other side. You were too strong for death and too strong for other people's limitations and you made it through, after a year of recovery you managed to get yourself together through limitless hurdles and pain.

You made it to a place where you could look after yourself, a miracle in itself. Yet the challenges didn’t stop and things may have looked okay on the outside but inside still remained a struggle, to look like you got it together and to have it together are not the same thing.

Following this year you were discharged and were given the freedom of independence again, the doctors informed you on a few things before you left; that you will never have children, that it would be a struggle for you to maintain friendships and relationships, that you could not work, that you would always need support, and that a normal life was just not possible for you.

This is what you got told and for the next two years you got used to living normally again, you were still in pain and still struggled with many things but life got a little easier.

In the second year another miracle occurred, you got pregnant. It was me, you brung me into this world. Through all your pain and having every physical limitation in front of you, life still surprised you, you continued to show the world and yourself how truly beautiful you really are and all that you are capable of.

Over the years you raised me by yourself and worked part time, leaving my father who was abusive so I wouldn’t have to live a life with that influence. You looked after yourself and me, your dream to have a normal life came true.

When I was 7 years old, you got married and had another child and then two more after that one, they are my beautiful sisters and brother. You got your degree in psychology, you modelled, worked in support work looking after people, became a real estate agent and did many wonderful things.

To this day you are finishing your nursing qualification and getting involved with something new, you are raising 3 teenagers and you still face pain on a daily basis, whether that's joint pain, headaches and anything in between. It’s been 26 years since your accident and you have done the impossible, over and over again.

This is a short snippet of what I have seen, heard and experienced, I know nothing of what this truly is but I know it's something special and I am so grateful that I get to know such an extraordinary person.

My mum raised me to be a good person and to appreciate what I have, she showed me that it’s important to look after yourself, she put me through a private school, made sure I was always fed and gave me so many opportunities. She read to me books about the universe, taught me about nature, about life and took me adventuring, she showed me that life is truly beautiful and that it is worth living.

To call her a miracle story does not come close to who she truly is and I am eternally grateful to be able to share this with others.

I just want to say thank you, thank you for never giving up. You showed me no matter what you go through if you just believe in yourself you can overcome anything. I love you.