Dear Death

Dear Death,

You really messed me up.

You really messed me up when you took my Dad. Our Dad. Husband. Brother. Would-be Grandfather. You left us all groping around for footing.

Please. Please tell me why you needed him so urgently that you took him without warning? Can you tell me with complete certainty that taking him so sharply from our lives has been truly beneficial to you? To ANYONE? I only ask because it has left us all so helplessly disoriented. I thought perhaps if I appealed to you directly, with pleasantries, that you might permit him to come back periodically? Sort of like when a sailor is granted leave. I understand we would need to give him back to you, that you are not someone we would want to cross. I just want a hug. One of his special hugs that makes my world feel safe. To collect some of his strength. The endless strength he seemed to have while here with us. Please?

Death. I really miss him. My Dad.

Thank you for taking him quickly and, hopefully, painlessly. You should know though, that it has been anything but painless for those of us left behind in the wake of his departure. For those of us who didn't get a proper goodbye. Did he hear our love before he was completely gone? We have so many questions for you, Death. Yet, as you know, we will never get answers. At least not until you come to take us too... but, although we will finally have all the answers, we will leave the people we love most in this world with the same unanswered questions. It's a bit of a three ring circus you run here on earth. Making a mockery of us, giving us answers, but only after we meet you in person ourselves. You are the last person we will meet - the final 'Friend' of life. Death.

Maybe you could simply pass a message along to my Dad for me? It's simple. Here it is.

Dad,

I miss you. Every day. And I will never ever stop missing you. I often feel lost in parenthood. I could use your perspective. A man's perspective. Someone who has been through all the stages of being a father. To tell me that since I am lucky enough to share the responsibilities of raising a family, that the experience can and does vary widely from Mother to Father, Partner to Partner. I need to know that all will be well.

Come see me in my dreams. Visit me and hug me and let me tell you how loved you still are by us all out here. Please?

I am sure Death is becoming rather impatient with me for going on a bit long, so I leave you with this.

I love you Papa, and that will never change. Ever.

Love, from the pipe to the sky,

'Dot' xoxo

Thank you Death. I appreciate that you are obscenely busy doing your job, causing heartache and sorrow (someone has to do it though, right?), but I am truly grateful to you for taking the time to find my Dad, amongst all the people you have 'befriended' over the milennia. I like to think you know exactly where he is at all times. That he is as important to you as he is/was to us... otherwise why on earth would you have taken him so soon?

Take care of yourself Death. Choose your friends wisely.

Yours (eventually),

Sandra