Dear "Dad"

The emotional and physical distruction your existence has possessed on not only my life, but my happiness, has been strung out too long. The sadness I have allowed you to mentally expose to my day to day life is beyond pathetic and repugnant on my part; yet I monotonously licensed it. I have come to a point in my life that it all must cease before I shatter. I must be straightforward about everything now. I have never felt so small and deplorable. The innocence I once was able to gloat about no longer is of existance in my life. You have deprived me of that innocence and deliberately threw it in my face so that I was unable to modify the outcome. I would try so hard to run from the nightmares and terrors I consecutively would retain. It's like none of it tended to impact you, like my pain and distress meant nil to you. You could care less about the conten I would obtain for the rest of my life.

For the longest time, I have allowed those powerful thrusts you generated on my small, fradgile, weak, body also impale my heart. The penetration you forced on my body has now impacted my way of life, my trust, and my happiness. The nights of tear-filled terrors, the consistant thrusts I pushed myself to face, and the way nothing you did affects you, only begins to prove your cold heart never once was beating.

I now must face that my worth to many is below average. I must rise everyday knowing I won't be good enough for anyone to love, because those scenes of your ruthless and cold-hearted acts replay in my head everytime I try to lie in the arms of the one I love. The fear of you, in general, breaks my will and strength to pursue any type of relationship. I'm unable to feel like the normal, untouched human being is able. I now must face that I'll always have something wrong with me, something weighing on my mind, something to worry about.

It has always struck me as odd that one could hurt someone in a way that their entire life is impacted by the outcome. How one could possibly call himself a father, yet lie down with his young at night. It seemingly amazes me that you could pretend your innocence and walk away without the thought of any guilt on your mind. You couldn't possibly think you wouldn't pay for what you've seen as "right." You couldn't possibly think it's going to fly by without any sort of action. You were wrong 10 years ago, and you're wrong now.

I fear to close my eyes at night, for you promised to return in wrath. I fear to lie down my head at night for you swore my life was in danger. I fear your presence in my life, but I don't fear your penetration any longer. It is time that what you've done shall be placed in the past. My knowledge of life gives me every reason to believe you will not die without repercussions. You will be exiled to flames and ever lasting terror. You may have the will to gloat amongst your fellow peers now, but I assure your lack of attendance won't cross a single mind in eternity. You will suffer maximum pain for what you gloriously did to me. You will gain your well-earned spot aside the red man himself, your God.

I shall not allow your inconsiderate, selfish, actions affects me any longer. I will lie my head down at night, close my eyes, and continue to push myself forward, without your existance in my thought. No longer are you able to haunt my happiness. No longer are you allowed to cross my mind. I shall now live to be more to my child than what you ever came close to yours. You're nothing to me anymore.

Signed,

Your daughter