Dealing with Unsupportive Parents
Personal Thoughts and Experiences with a Controversial Subject
You can tell people things a million times. You may even venture so far to explain to them your reasoning with valid evidence. But the bottom line is: people are going to think what they want to think. And furthermore, people can't stand to see something different from what they grew up with. They cannot relate to what is being done, therefore they cease to understand it. Instead of attempting to take the time to understand things, they block it out or pretend it doesn't exist. They try to persuade you to be something you're not despite your feelings, which should be the most important. It's not about what they want. It's about what YOU want. What keeps YOU going. In times like these, as dramatic as it may sound, "drastic times call for drastic measures."
I've never been one to lie to my parents about really anything. It's hard not to share something so important to me with them. It's extremely difficult for me to hide the truth, which in utter honesty, isn't bad at all. I didn't wreck my car or rob a bank. I am happy. Isn't that something that all parents want for their kid? Don't they long to hear that the kid they raised is happy with where they are in life and the choices they made? Isn't that some big milestone or something?
I tried telling them I am bi-sexual. I tried to explain my reasoning, but nonetheless, they freaked out. Honestly, I'm surprised their eyes balls didn't pop out their sockets. My mom especially went bonkers. The second I mentioned anything in regards to bisexuality, my mom's attitude toward me immediately changed:
"I don't know what to talk to you about anymore," she said not meeting my gaze.
"What does that even mean? Our conversations don't revolve around who I decide to have sex with."
She scoffed at me and slammed her door in my face.
"I'm done talking to you," she yelled through the door.
My legs felt weak. My heart felt small. I sank to my feet and laid my head against her door.
What I can't understand is how my sexual preference affects anyone that isn't myself or who I want to be with.
Am I sucking my partner's face in front of you? Am I showing them affection and posting it all over social media? Am I telling you about our wild sexual adventures exploring each others' bodies?
No, no and NO!
What about happiness? What about just enjoying life and enjoying the people who we are with for the time that we have left? If I continue going through life trying to please others and what THEY want for ME, I will truly never be happy.
Sometimes you have to put yourself first. To be happy, you MUST put yourself first. So, if I have to make some grand lie about this incredible trip I had planned with my closest friends from college, when in reality I just went to see the one person who inherently makes me feel happy, then that's precisely what I did. If I lied and said I'm dating around to avoid another fight, then that's what I did.
It's not easy. It's never going to be easy.
Anyone who has a heart and cares for you will eventually give in.
It won't be tomorrow. It probably won't be in a month. But it'll come. Make yourself first priority. Your needs, sanity, and happiness should always come first over others. Embrace yourself and be proud of who you are. Never give up. The fight isn't over till you say it is.