"daughter, don't marry boys from these three families." the mother's words are to the point.

Dear daughter,

When reading the picture book with you, you pointed to the pictures in the book and asked me why this child's mother was hugging her father.

I answer you, because my mother loves my father, and my father also loves my mother.

You look up and keep asking with big curious eyes, what is love?

Love is. I suddenly stopped talking, yeah, what is love?

Looking at your innocent and lovely appearance, I suddenly feel a little sad. Although you are still young, one day you will meet the people who love you and the people you love.

But what exactly is love?

Your father and I have discussed your future countless times, but every time we talk about marriage, we tacitly avoid: it doesn't matter if we don't marry, the three of us will be together forever.

But I know in my heart that it's just self-consolation.

If one day, you decide to get married with another person, I hope you will make a decision after careful consideration.

Because, some family boys, really can not marry.

A family with no respect.

When I was lying on the birth bed and heard you crying, I asked the doctor, boys and girls.

The doctor didn't answer me directly, but just replied, "do you want it to be a boy or a girl?"

I said, everything's fine.

Yes, as long as it is my child, healthy and safe, male or female.

But when I heard the doctor say "girl", I stared at the ceiling whitened by fluorescent lights and sighed deeply in my heart.

Mother does not favor boys over daughters, but at that moment, I think that my baby, you, will have to experience the pain of giving birth in the future. What would it be like at that time?

My mother is very afraid of pain. For a long time after giving birth to you, even if it is just a bump, it will remind me of the pain when I gave birth to you.

So, I really can't bear it, you have to take this way in the future.

I asked your father how many children he wanted.

Your father replied, "you can have as many as you want."

I said, just this one.

Without thinking about it, he answered "yes".

Feeling a little surprised, I jokingly asked, "what if your parents rush it?"

Unexpectedly, your father stopped his work and said to me with a very serious expression: "the belly is yours, you are the one who has the decision, and no one can force you."

At that moment, what I saw was respect.

Son, you will grow into a woman or even a mother in the future. But the most basic premise is that you are a person who can decide your own life, not a person who must live according to the wishes of others.

If you get married in the future, my mother wants you to choose someone who knows how to respect you.

He respects your thoughts, your opinions, and your independent personality, rather than telling you what to do in your life and asking you to make absolute concessions.

Never marry someone who doesn't respect you.

Because people who don't respect you will insist on signing the consent form for caesarean section when you are in great pain.

People who don't respect you will turn a blind eye to you when you are lonely and helpless and say you are hypocritical.

People who don't respect you will take all your efforts in life for granted, and then throw all your pursuits and ideals into the firewood.

People who don't respect you will persuade you to give in instead of actively solving the problem when you have a conflict with his family.

Son, you have respected your choices, your ideas and your personality since you were a child. How my mother hopes that you can meet such a person and a family who will respect you in the future.

Only the family where the mother does the housework

Every time I go to a family, I carefully observe the interaction between the family members, because it is a very interesting thing.

If you take a closer look, there are those families in which only the mother is busy washing, cooking and cleaning, while the father lies on the chair after eating, and even when his mother mops the floor, he is unwilling to lift his feet. The son raised is not considerate and takes care of others.

Family is the most important reference for his marriage, and he will unconsciously project this way of life into his marriage. In his perception, he probably thought that all the housework should be left to women.

Moreover, in the decades of his life, he was habitually "waited on". He never intervened in washing, mopping the floor, cooking and brushing shoes. If you think about it, when he starts a family, who will take over the housework from his mother?

Children, whether the boy can do housework or not, we can see his sense of responsibility to a large extent.

A boy with a strong sense of responsibility, he will see that it is not easy for others, will consider the situation of others, will regard himself as a member of the family, and take the initiative to assume the responsibility of the family.

Every boy and girl, after getting married, are willing to wash their hands and make vegetable soup themselves, willing to revolve around their children and their families all day and night, not because of "mission", but out of love and responsibility.

In marriage, no one is high or low. The big and small things in marriage are the common things of husband and wife, which need to be borne and supported together.

A boy, if only his mother does housework in his family, you should think carefully.

I hope that when you become a mother in the future, your partner will also assume the responsibilities of both father and husband and grow up with you.

A family with different values

Finally, I would like to talk to you about the three values.

In psychology, there is a word called "schema". It refers to a person's cognitive structure.

This schema is like a tree. A child, the things he has come into contact with since childhood, his ideas, ideas, and thoughts, will grow into the branches and leaves of this tree.

And a person's three values are hidden in his schema.

People with similar values will appreciate each other, tolerate each other, and look in the same direction. People with different values, like two magnetic poles that repel each other, are never on the same channel.

The three values are different, even if two people sit face to face, they are as far away as thousands of miles away. In such a marriage, there will only be two lonely souls.

For example, you want to raise flowers and plants, but he feels that raising those things is a waste of time and takes up space.

For example, if you want to talk to him, he thinks you have a lot to do.

For example, if you want to read a book, he thinks you pretend to be literature and art.

Marriage is not a business. It ends when a deal is done. Marriage is a long road. Only when two people get along comfortably and have a common topic, can they walk for a long time and have fun.

Yu Qiuyu once said, the road of life, is to rely on their own step by step, can really protect you, is your choice. What hurts you, too, is your own choice.

Son, in the first 20 or 30 years of your life, I will try my best to protect you from getting hurt. But the road after that, how it goes, is all your own choice.

So my mother wants you to make every choice, prudent rather than reckless. Especially in the choice of marriage, no matter how old they are, boys from the above three families should not be chosen.