Dad you're a mess, but I love you

My dad isn’t the perfect man, he wasn’t always there and he didn’t do everything I wanted him to do but he did the best he could. Growing up I had to realize that not everyone’s best is good enough; some people make a million and one mistakes before they ever truly learn the levels of love. There’s unconditional love and there’s conditioned love; my dad taught me what conditioned love was. He didn’t have a regular conversation with me about it, but he showed me with his actions. This lesson wasn’t an easy one to learn, but I had to learn it so I knew which type of love felt best. Personally, I prefer unconditional love; it’s not artificial.

Conditioned love looks like a person loving someone else ‘because’ of what they do or who they are. People who love conditionally don’t know how to love someone else or themselves through thick and thin. Unconditional love is a love I taught myself, most people don’t know anything about it. It’s a love that accepts every being, all things and all places; it’s a love that sees through pain and struggle. I’m thankful for my father even though he doesn’t give me the love I feel I deserve. This is an example of unconditional love; I’ve tried to be angry at him. I’ve tried to dislike him and hate him but that’s one impossible task to achieve. I’m a part of him and he’s a part of me, everyday I see the resemblance between us become stronger. Everyday I’m reminded why I love him, I’m reminded that love conquers all as my face becomes his and my own at the same time.

The smartest thing my dad told me was “Don’t give up on your dreams, never stop believing in them.” This was the first time he’s shown me unconditional love, that day he said those words to me I was completely liberated. Those words had broken the imaginary shackles that clung onto my spirit. For so long I was ashamed of myself and what I come from, but those words set me free. Although my dad wasn’t always around, he was always there at the right times; he was there when I truly needed him. My dad isn’t as affectionate as I’d like him to be, but on occasions he’ll get drunk and he’d embarrass me and my siblings. I now see that’s how he shows his love; it may be weird and dysfunctional to most but to me it’s a gift.

To the people who have dads and don’t claim them, to the people who don’t have a dad in their lives at all and to the people who just simply despise theirs, TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT HIM. He may be a mess at times, he’s probably not the best, and maybe you don’t know him at all (and if this is the case, take a look at yourself). You may not want to be a part of him, but you are; his DNA moves through you. Embrace this, embrace that you come from somewhere and embrace that you get to be whoever you want to be. Just because you don’t like everything your parents do doesn’t mean you can’t love them. You don’t even have to be similar in personality and character, but make the most of your relationship with them. Everything’s on borrowed time, nothing is here to last so live this life up. Enjoy the small things, scream loud and celebrate your parents. They’re the reason you’re alive today, they’re the reason you’re breathing so appreciate it before it’s all gone.