ConceiveAbilities’ Surrogates Share their Journeys with Marie Claire Magazine

ConceiveAbilities’ surrogates, Kristina and Kristine, are two of five women who were featured in a recent Marie Claire article on why they chose to carry someone else’s child. The piece touches on the complex history of surrogacy and gives a nod to how celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Neil Patrick Harris, among others, have begun to normalize surrogacy in an effort to grow their families.

Because of this recent normalization, more and more women are choosing to use a surrogate, either by choice or often as a result of years of unsuccessful fertility treatments.

“As people become more willing to open up about their experiences, it becomes less taboo. Said Nazca Fontes, Founder and CEO of ConceiveAbilities. “Because of this, we are seeing a surge in surrogacy that I don’t expect to slow down anytime soon.”

The Marie Claire article says, "Women who become surrogates are women who think, I can, so I will. They are women who, as one told me, “just want to show people that you can love others. It’s not always easy, but it’s important.” and continues with "In an original survey Marie Claire conducted in partnership with SurveyMonkey, nearly a quarter (23 percent) of Millennial women said that, if they found out they could not conceive naturally, they would consider surrogacy. Just 9 percent of Gen-X women said the same."

"To clarify: These women would consider using a surrogate. And, yes, that takes a lot of trust—to put the fate of your family in another woman’s womb. But what about the women willing to be surrogates? Willing to put their body through nine months of hormonal fluctuations and morning sickness and stretch marks and back pain, not to mention the bodily trauma of delivering a baby vaginally or via C-section, both of which take weeks to recover from. Add to that the fact that the United States has the worst maternal mortality rate in the developed world—about 700 women die every year as a result of pregnancy or delivery complications, according to the CDC."

Who are these women?

There are also a variety of requirements surrogates must possess in order to help ensure safety and well-being for everyone involved in the process. Some of ConceiveAbilities’ surrogate mother requirements include:

• Age between 21-40 years old

• BMI between 18-32

• Must have given birth to and be raising at least one child

• Uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries

• Non-smoker in a non-smoking home

• Stable, responsible lifestyle

• Financially sound

But beyond just this checklist, our surrogates are teachers, engineers, nurses, social workers and designers. They are moms who love being pregnant and love being parents. These women feel called to carry a child for someone who can’t.

For Kristina, the idea was a no brainer. “I’ve always been enthralled with the whole process of reproduction: I’m a labor and delivery nurse. When my younger child was in Kindergarten, I was speaking to one of his classmate’s moms, who was a surrogate. I thought, Well, I’m still young enough to do this. Why not?“

For Kristine, deciding to become a surrogate was a natural extension of her personality. “I love gifting people with things, and obviously, helping someone create a family is the ultimate gift.”

A lot of people are often curious about the end result. What does it feel like to carry a child for nine months, only to deliver it to another family?

“You’re not giving up a baby, you’re just giving the baby back,” said Kristine. “I am so happy for them. Just overwhelming joy.”

As a three-time surrogate that has delivered five surro-babies, Kristina knows these experiences have had a lasting impact on her and her family.

“It’s not my genetics, so I didn’t leave my legacy or anything, but I feel like by helping those three families, I’ve made my mark on the world. One of those people could be President, and I grew them—who knows?”

Check out the full article in Marie Claire magazine: 5 Women Get Candid About Why They Chose to Carry Someone Else’s Child written by Danielle McNally is a National Magazine Award–winning journalist. She is the executive editor of Marie Claire, overseeing features across every topic of importance to the MC reader: beauty, fashion, politics, culture, career, women's health, and more. She has previously written for Cosmopolitan, DETAILS, SHAPE, and Food Network Magazine.