Children who lacked love before the age of six may grow up with three major character defects

A happy childhood heals a lifetime; an unhappy childhood takes a lifetime to heal.

The most memorable part of life is probably childhood. Especially before the age of six, the good times with parents who love each other, this time will be treasured for the rest of our lives.

If parents don't make their children feel loved before the age of six, their future character may be flawed.

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Six years old determines a lifetime?

A: Before the age of six, parents should establish a good "attachment relationship" with their children

The so-called "attachment relationship" can be simply understood as "one-to-one emotional attachment", a close emotional bond between parents and children, which can bring warmth and trust to children, so that they will not be afraid of danger, feel safe inside, and believe in society and others. society and trust in others.

Therefore, education experts believe that parents need to spend more time with their children until the age of six. Your parenting will fill the child's brain with memories such as happiness and contentment and transform them into a subconscious mind that will become the most important energy in the children's lives, giving them their humanity.

If this childhood memory about their parents is blank, this often leaves children loveless and with various emotional problems.

B: Before the age of six, regulate your child's behavior and develop a good character

The famous psychology professor, Ms. Li Meijin, mentioned that.

"Many of the child's problems are created by adults, and if the parents' problems are not adjusted, the child's problems cannot be adjusted. If you want to raise children to form a good character, then the most important period is before the age of six."

There is quite a bit of scientific reasoning as to why the age of six is used as the dividing line.

At this age, children's cognitive abilities improve, their sense of self increases, and children tend to have a little rebellious period.

Before the age of six, they may still listen to their parents, but after the age of six, the authority of parents decreases, and children have self-worth judgments.

The dialogue between adults and children has changed from mom and dad ordering their children to "you have to ......" and "you should ...... " to children actively expressing "I want to ......" and "I think ...... ".

Therefore, before the age of six is the "golden period" of children's character shaping, during this period, they are simply a copy of their parents, what you teach them, they will eventually become what.

Parents should pay attention to their behavior, give their children enough love and care at the same time, set a good example for them to establish a good family style, and improve their personality development.

Otherwise, after this time, the child's ego is already strong and it may be too late for you to teach.

Children who lack love before the age of six may have three major character defects when they grow up

1, not confident enough, too concerned about the views of others

Parenting psychology mentioned that 3 to 6 years old is the most critical time for the protection of children's self-confidence.

The source of the child's self-confidence comes from the parents, only those who have been fully loved, praised and affirmed by their parents since childhood children, their ego is more stable, believe that they are worthy, to perform sunshine and have self-confidence.

However, children who lack love have not received encouragement and support from their parents, so their egos are often unstable and they can only complete their self-perceptions through the evaluation of others.

These people are concerned about other people's opinions and evaluations since they were young, and when they grow up, they live in the eyes of others, and may even form a "pleasing personality" and spend their whole lives condescending to themselves to win the praise of others, without being able to live out their true selves.

2, indifferent and distant personality, avoid socialization

Child education expert Yin Jianli mentioned that everything in children is imitating adults, how parents treat them, and how he treats others.

A child who lacks love has grown up in a detached and indifferent family atmosphere and has never experienced what it is like to be loved unwaveringly, so their personality will be somewhat "cold".

Once they are suddenly cared for, they are overwhelmed and find it difficult to integrate into the group. This unfamiliar emotional experience may even cause them to avoid it, and to get rid of the "discomfort", they actively avoid socializing and have fewer and fewer friends.

These children are more or less eager to be loved, but because they have lived independently since childhood and are used to licking their wounds alone, their inner defenses have become too heavy and they always feel insecure, always worried that if they show their weakness, they will be abandoned again.

This sensitive and suspicious nature is often also the source of their future difficulties to go into marriage.

3, easy to self-touch

Love itself is a spontaneous emotion, in the lack of love in the eyes of children, love is a "luxury", that can not be found

If you receive a little kindness from the other side, they will be overwhelmed, and then touched themselves, other people's hands, in their eyes is a "blessing in the snow", and then try to give back out.

In some cases, although it is good, this nature may sometimes bring pressure on the other party. Your return may make the other party feel too polite and polite, next time often dare not continue.

And in heterosexual relationships, the one who is easily self-touched is often prone to be hurt later. Always a little bit of each other's good infinitely magnified, and then double the repayment, the result of the final aggravation and hurt.

In summary, parents should be aware in time, before the child's three views are formed, like a blank sheet of paper, depending on how the parents guide.

In the children's childhood, give them enough firm love, as a good example, so that they have a normal three views, this is what parents should do.