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Child disobedient?

It may be the wrong way to educate

By Sal ToriPublished about a year ago 7 min read
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Anger

As a child grows from immaturity to maturity, there will inevitably be many times when he or she "disobeys". When a child has capricious behavior, it is the time when parents have the most headache.

Many parents are used to spoiling their children with too much love, unconditionally tolerating their capriciousness and nonsense, and many parents are tired of their children's capriciousness, using violent solutions or cold treatment of their capriciousness.

But either way, Pictures

what are the common problems that parents have when teaching their children?

Parents are often subjective in judging whether their children's behavior is right or not, and this subjective mentality is brought to the way most parents educate. They also tend to be subjective when it comes to educating their children.

And since people are not saints, a subjective approach to education is bound to have many misconceptions. When educating their children, parents often have these problems.

1) Overindulgence in children

Many parents think that coddling is just their love for their children, and as parents, they should love and care for their children. The roots of spoiling and loving are the same, both parents are out of love for their children, but the two are different.

Love and care have a certain scope, when parents love and care for their children, beyond a certain scope, love and care will become spoiled.

Children who have received long-term coddling education rely on their parents more than is reasonable. They believe that their parents are omnipotent and take them as their backbone to do whatever they want, gradually becoming uncaring and lawless.

2) Being too authoritarian with children

Parents who follow an authoritarian approach to education often wear a mask of power, and commanding words are the norm in their communication with their children.

They don't allow their children to do anything against their will, and they hold their children to high standards with little encouragement.

When they tell their children that they can't do something, they do so in a coercive tone, without explaining much to them. This kind of education will cause great pressure on the child, and if the pressure exists for a long time, the child's self-confidence will be frustrated and may develop low self-esteem.

What's more, parents who spend a long time with their children in this way will make them feel fearful of their parents, thus alienating them and creating cracks in a good family relationship.

3) Too much neglect of the child

Unlike coddling and authoritarianism, neglect often brings invisible harm to children. The obvious characteristic of parental neglect is the lack of communication.

In this case, parents tend to treat their children's capricious behavior coldly. They ignore the child's crying and capricious behavior, trying to take time to fade the child's emotions and achieve the goal of solving the problem.

However, the symptoms are not the root of the problem, and the problem that is diluted by time will relapse one day, thus aggravating the child's disappointment in the parents and deepening the gap between them.

Moreover, parents who educate their children in a neglectful way, because of the lack of care and attention to their children, so they are often concerned about the surface behavior of the child, and if the child's psychological problems, they will not be able to judge and react in time, delaying the "best treatment period" for the child, causing irreparable damage to the child.

02 What are the effects of wrong parenting styles on children?

Parenting style plays a central role in parenting behavior. When parents use the right approach, the impact on children is often immediate.

However, when parents misuse the wrong parenting style, it can also show significant negative effects on their children. These are some of the common effects of the wrong way of education on children.

Causing rebellion in children

When parents are overly authoritarian and use violent words and behaviors with their children, they often cause rebelliousness in children. Whenever a child behaves in a way that is not in line with the parent's wishes, the parent will label the behavior as wrong. As a result, the child is forced to correct the behavior with commanding words and violent acts.

Parents make mistakes by not thinking about how to educate their children, by misbehaving, or by not reflecting, but by blaming their children.

And do not know how to reflect on whether there is a problem with their education methods. At this point, parents not only fail to achieve the purpose of solving the problem but also cause new problems.

Allowing children to develop bad behavioral habits

Many parents misuse the wrong education method when they want their children to correct some incorrect behavioral habits. When the wrong approach negatively affects the child, the most important problems that need to be solved are not solved.

For example, a child who has boxes of toys is forcing their parents to buy new toys by crying and screaming every time they walk by the toy closet.

The parents want the child to change this bad behavior, so they use some kind of unreasonable way to teach the child, and when the purpose of education is not achieved, the child still has the same problem. The child's wrong behavior is not corrected, and in the long run, it will develop bad behavior habits.

Stress on the child's mind

The effects of wrong education are often not limited to the surface but are deep inside the child. When a parent is too authoritarian, the child will be depressed inside, and if the depression is not released, psychological problems will arise. And when the child's psychological problems show up through behavior, it is too late for parents to correct them.

When parents neglect their children too much, the child's inner desire to be cared for, and when this desire is not met, it will also affect the child's emotions, causing them psychological stress. When parents spoil their children too much, the children are often emboldened by any behavior they do, and therefore they appear to be out of place when interacting with others.

In addition to affection, children need friendship as well. Even if parents give their children more love and affection, it cannot make up for their lack of social interaction skills.

03 What should parents be aware of when raising their children?

Finding the right way to educate is important and even more necessary. But parents' educational responsibilities often go beyond that. In addition to finding the right way to educate, the minutiae need to be taken into account. Before parents take concrete actions, these issues should be given priority attention.

1. Respect your child and think differently

Learning to respect your child should come first before educating him or her. Respect is not just about treating the child as a child, but as a person like yourself.

After parents have the concept of respect, they also have to learn to think differently. Parents are not born as parents; parents were once children too. Therefore, it is not a difficult task for parents to think differently.

Before parents educate their children, they may want to think differently, empathize with them, and look at whether their education is reasonable from their children's perspective.

2. Find the root cause and prescribe the right medicine

When a person is sick, it's not about finding the best medicine, it's about finding the most appropriate medicine. The same goes for education. Before parents educate their children, they should first analyze the problem, find a solution to the problem, and then guide their children in an appropriate educational way to correct their misbehavior.

In the analysis of the problem, we should use more communication, communication, and talk with the child to better understand the child's problems. Only by choosing the most appropriate education method can you get rid of your child's medicine.

3. Pay attention to the tone of voice and be patient

After choosing the right way of education, parents should also pay attention to the tone of voice and patience with their children. It is said that good medicine is bitter, but many people are reluctant to accept the so-called "good medicine" because of the bitterness of the medicine. But if you eat candy after drinking the bitter medicine, you will feel less bitter.

If parents always teach their children in a strong tone, the children will refuse to accept education, on the contrary, if parents pay attention to the tone of voice, and are patient in teaching children, children will slowly accept, and slowly correct their wrongdoing.

It is said that education is about timing, see the right time to give children the right education, is the perfect approach. However, I believe that more important than timing is the method of education.

The education method is objective, the right education method to children's influence is incomparable, choose the right education method, is the most should be considered by parents.

If each child is compared to a sports car parked at the same starting line, the responsible attitude of parents is the quality of gasoline, when the sports car is filled with gasoline and ready to start, the right educational method becomes the closest road to the finish line.

Along this road, experiencing the road point by point, full of harvest, is the greatest happiness in the growth process!



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About the Creator

Sal Tori

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one has learned in school.

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