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Boss Mom is Watching You

A Vocal Challenge Submission

By Daniel GarvinPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
2

“There’s a difference between washing it and getting it clean.”

I nearly broke down in tears the first time I felt myself about to use that phrase on somebody. Though he was an unworthy, irritated roommate who had failed to clean the remnants of his last three meals from the stacks of dirty dishes clogging our too small sink, he did not deserve to have that sentence passed on him. Stifling a laugh, or maybe a scream, I departed his company and locked myself in the bathroom to internalize my learned misery. But even there I found no solace. Streaks swam across the mirror’s fogged surface, and spare bits of chin hair remained floating in puddles of water on the counter, the remainder of another roommate’s haphazard attempt to rinse the countertop after shaving. The deluge had failed to take the hair with it as it splashed back into the sink, and dead human cells and moisture sat together in their shared sense of displacement, unable to be put out of their misery. I silenced their screams with a sweep of my hand, sending them tumbling over the edge and down the drain, to blessed peace. Would this never end? Would my roommates ever stop washing and start cleaning?

“There’s a difference between washing it and getting it clean.”

This sentence holds power over me. Teeth clenching, feral anger is my initial, uncontrollable reaction to its injection into my ear canals. Some who know it say it as a joke, as something to be ridiculed or mocked. But they fear it too, even if they try and kid themselves. The only woman who speaks it seriously, our mother, shoots this phrase around casually, almost playfully, like it’s a foam nerf bullet gently prodding but never hurting. She is unaware of the barbed needle on the tip that sinks in stinging and sharp, dragging us back through time into childhood, forcing us to consider every instance it was uttered. The worst part of that phrase, as I have come to find out, is that it’s true. Absolutely true.

There IS a difference between washing something and getting it clean.

She mostly says it when she discovers caked on grime on a load of hand washed dishes. Occasionally it comes up when a bathroom mirror or toilet seat has streaks or little evidence of having been worked on. The phrase was first spoken in anger, when we were little and we had to be taught that good work was not always easy. Eventually she spoke it in amused frustration, bemoaning the fact that her children had not heeded the phrase she so carefully planted in our minds. And that leads us to now, the present, where the phrase has become legend, brought up more by my siblings and I then by her. She stored the phrase away for safe-keeping, fondly encasing it in a case of memories to be hung up over a mantle, like a knight finally retiring a battle-worn sword. It’s enemies long since destroyed or beaten into submission, it gets its long awaited rest, reminding us all of the struggles that came before the calm of now.

The phrase always had truth to it. We just did not want to see it. Splash water and soap on a car with no intention of actually scraping off the encrusted bird scat and vaporized bugs and we could still be technically ‘washing’ the car. Washing is just an action, one that does not ensure an outcome. ‘Getting something clean’ on the other hand, has a definite outcome. It’s the actions needed to get there that are undefined. If sudsing up the car is not enough, fingernails or a towel may be employed to scrape away the grime. If there are water spots on the windows, a rewash and second drying with a water squeegee are needed. If the inside of that car is to be truly, wholly clean, the vacuum must be switched into hose mode. The long, plastic snout attachment will make an appearance if every dirty cubby and carpet edge is to be adequately inspected, and make no mistake, they must be inspected. Getting something clean is not so much a task as a sentence, one you will remain imprisoned by until your time is served and the punishment complete.

I started to see value in the power of this phrase as I grew older and many of the tasks that had been forced unwillingly upon me as a child became second nature miseries to be endured day in and out. Trash cans have to be emptied when they are full or they will leak and spread foul fluids and dust. Dishes must be scraped and polished so no guest ever doubts their cleanliness. Dirty clothes are tossed into the washer and dryer, and the survivors are folded and preserved so that they neither wrinkle nor smell. All of these tasks must be done perfectly to maintain the living environment and its harmonious appearance to any outside visitors. There can be no mistakes, or else mockery and ruin will follow. In short, these things cannot simply be washed, that would leave too much room for error, for laziness, for embarrassment. They must be cleaned. They must be clean.

Thanks mom. I am understanding only now what it was to have 3 boys and a husband to clean up after. Hell, even the dog was male. We are disgusting creatures, but we can be taught. We must be taught. So we will be. I am a disciple now. I have won the victory over myself. I love my Boss Mom.

immediate family
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About the Creator

Daniel Garvin

I'm a Graphic designer, artist and overall creative who doesn't have enough time to get all my ideas out visually. So I'm giving writing a shot. A thousand words is worth a picture, right?

https://danielgarvin.com/

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