Becoming a mom makes you really think about yours

It wasn't until I became a mother when I really looked at my past and how my parents were with me. Before I had my daughter I don't think that I really thought it. I am a person that doesn't really think about the past once it is over. I like to deal with things and move on, move forward.

Once you have a child, your world changes. A lot of things that you thought were important, doesn't seem like it is that important anymore. All you want to do is make a good life for this little person. To give them everything that you possibly can.

I never thought about what my mother taught me, the lessons she gave to me and the morals that I had. Once I had my daughter I did think about what I didn't want to do. Sort of a how-to, but in reverse. Of course, our mothers teach us things as we grow up. We gain a lot from our parents. They shape us to be how it is that we become.

I didn't have the best childhood. I grew up in a house filled with chaos, and violence. My parents didn't have a great marriage. When I became a mother I really took stock of my past and my childhood. I decided that there was no way that my daughter was going to grow up in the same situation that I did. I made a commitment that I wasn't going to make the same mistakes. Which for me is one of the greatest lessons that my mother taught to me. Whether she meant to or not. Sometimes the greatest thing that you can figure out is not what you want, but what you don't want. I made a commitment to never drink, do drugs or smoke; given my family history of addiction. I got really into and focused on working out. Furthermore, I wanted her to see a healthy lifestyle. Children will do what you do, not what you say. I wanted her to see a healthy diet, and know that she should move her body. I wanted to be healthy for her, as not everyone in my life lives the most healthy life that they can. Furthermore, I wanted her to see all the things that I didn't.

I also knew my struggle of self-confidence. Me, not thinking that I was good enough, pretty enough, smart enough to do things. I wanted to make sure that she grew up knowing that she was loved and thinking that she was everything no matter what. So I make sure to tell her all the time that I love her, that she is beautiful, that she is smart enough to do anything. I never want her to doubt that her mother loved hers for exactly the way that she is no matter what.

The large part that I did learn from my mother is that I know that she is always in my corner. I don't always agree with everything that she does or has done. But I do know that she would always protect me no matter what I did. And if nothing else I want to make sure that she knows that. I think that knowing that I could always fall back to my mother made me want to step out into the world. When you know that you can always go back if you need to, then you feel better to take a leap into this scary world. If you don't feel like you can go back, then you might be more hesitate to take a leap into the unknown.

I can honestly say that the most important thing I learned from my mother is what I didn't want to do, the mistakes I didn't want to make. I think we need to learn from our parents mistake so that we make sure that we don't make the same ones. And if we learn from what they did wrong, that is the greatest gift that we can give them, ourselves and our children as well.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope that you know that you are enough and worthy of all the world has to offer. I hope that you have looked at what mistakes you don't want to repeat anymore.

-T