Because of Mom

On October 3, 2020, the world stopped. At least MY world came to a screaming halt. My beautiful mother, the brightest light in every room, lost her battle with ovarian cancer. She was 83 years old.

Mom was the sunshine in our family. She took pride in caring for her husband, her children, her grandchildren and everyone she loved. She excelled in this role. Her hugs were warm, her generosity and empathy was limitless and her meatballs were out of this world. Mom made friends everywhere she went… the doctors office, the grocery store, even at the sink in public restrooms. Her loving, silly energy was a magnetic light, attracting others to her instantaneously.

Although she had been retired for many years, Mom had maintained a ‘professional’, non-paying job as a personal cheerleader. She was skilled at making people feel good about themselves… possessing an intuitive gift to know exactly what others needed to hear. It was hard to ever feel like there was anything you couldn’t accomplish after a conversation with Mom. She consistently rooted for us, supporting our every move. I often referred to her as a fluffernutter.

Throughout her life, Mom always took good care of us. At the end, we were finally able to return the favor. Although her illness forced her to be dependent on Dad and us for many things, she was still in charge. My sister would say, “she’s directing from the bed again”. To the very end, Mom still did her To-Do lists and had her prerequisites: Grocery list..shopping only after the refrigerator had been cleared out, only 2 desserts for Dad and don’t forget the coupons; the apartment needed to be decluttered and cleaned (heaven forbid the nurse or the cleaning service saw a messy home); her family still had to eat well (a formal dinner together preferred, as always); birthday cards had to be mailed at least 2 weeks prior to ones special day; Dad had to give gas money to the children and grandchildren every single visit; and everyone had to promise to be careful whenever we left her…even if we were walking outside to empty the trash.

Mom fought for her family to the very end. And even during the worst of her pain, she worried about us.

I have learned so much from her. Working as a social worker and clinical counselor for over twenty five years, I have chosen a career path which emulates her life path. Gratefully, I have also adopted Mom’s sense of humor which carries me through life’s difficult moments and hopefully lights up a few rooms along the way.

Because of Mom, I maintain and manage a daily To-Do list.

Because of Mom, I am brave enough to jump out of airplanes.

Because of Mom, I am happy to pack the parachute so someone else can soar.

Because of Mom, I am never afraid to take charge and lead others.

Because of Mom, I am always happy to sit back, listen and just love.

Because of Mom, I take good care of my family.

Because of Mom, I have chosen to help others.

Because of Mom, I do my best to make the world a little brighter.

Because of Mom, I am a fierce lioness.

Because of Mom, I strive for my own personal happiness.

Even through immense heartache, I know I am one of the lucky ones. I had 49 years to call her my mother, my confidant, my cheerleader, my touchstone, my anchor, my best friend and now my guardian angel. I am who I am because of Mom.

I am blessed.