Are You My Mother?

Aiti.

It means mother in my mother tounge. A language from the far north, the language of Finland, the language of my mother.

Aiti. Mom. Mother. Mama. For the majority of my life, these words did not leave my tongue.

To think we all come from a designated Womb. An undisputed shared experience of all of humanity. Mother’s sacrifice their bodies and hold space for us to grow, so that we may come in to this world.

Some mothers, my mother, sacraficed her physical existence for me to come into this world.

My father never remarried. He devoted his time, all of his efforts in raising me. I am so eternally greatful for all of it, even the challenges it presented.

Please do understand, as greatful as I am, growing up with a single dad –I craved the experience of my mother. I wanted to be held, sang to before bed, for her to brush my hair and play make-believe. All the things my father didn’t have the energy for, all the things I imagined a mother would do.

I have been in search of mother since I can remember.

‘Are you my mother?’ I ask. I ask all things existing simultaneously within the cosmos, I ask all women seemingly ready to extend their maternal love to me.

‘Yes.’ They say.

Who is they?

They are: All of the mother’s of my friends. All of the teachers through out my years at school. My Los Angeles mothers who are supporting my radical, artistic career. My coworkers, my two eldest sisters, my cousins, my aunts, my friends, my massage therapist, my dog, the trees, the flowers...I have discovered I have many mothers.

Even with all of my mothers, and at this point I would say I call about ten different women Mom very casually, I still find myself swelling with tears at the thought of my mother.

From what I know: she was a fire cracker. An intuitive, healing, fully embodied empowered woman.

She has guided me to my many Earthly Mothers, she has visited me in my dreams. She has bestowed upon me the gift of visions.

I have discovered her energy in ways that are palpable, in ways that don‘t make sense to most people. Because of her, I have developed my own secret language with the cosmos.

What does that mean exactly? For me, at least, it means that I have deep innate trust in all that is occurring in the world. That I can commune with the energies that swirl in between space. That I can flow with the currents of life. It means that I have found comfort through my mother’s energy, the very comfort that I used to cry out for. It means I have learned that everything and everyone will be okay. We are growing, we are learning to consciously evolve. We are moving from Conquer and Conquest to Nurture and Nature. We will walk eachother home.

If I do not consciously trust this, then I unconsciously trust the alternative option- and the alternative option isn’t favorable. It is distracting from what is possible- and my mother has been quiet clear- anything is possible.

She has taught me to honor the Divine Feminie, the Divine Mother. I am her, you are her, we are her. She brings the true power of love, comfort trust, intuition and the gift of life itself. How amazing it is we are even alive, for me to write and for you to read. I am making a connection with you, right in this moment. How greatful I am now in understanding my connection to all things, seen and unseen.

I am here now, fully embodied, remembering how I, as well as you, are made up of the same stuff that exists in the cosmos. Reminding me how truly connected we all are. That maybe separation is the biggest fallacy there is

We all did come from the vortex of the Womb.

My mother is present. I am her, as she is me.