Are single-income households feasible?

I honestly believe the model of a single-income household is a healthy one ~ but certainly not along gender lines. Significant lifestyle changes that might seem uncomfortable at first are required. They are ultimately healthy choices.

Leaving a job and income behind is more than just a choice to take our time back. It’s a re-evaluation of our core values. What’s important? Living more modestly means embracing the idea that we can live a higher quality of life by consuming less.

The advantages? So many. We take our time back for one. When we do less, buy less, consume less, drive less, eat less, then we need much less income, and it’s much healthier for this planet.

Debt-traps are one of the biggest factors keeping more of us from stepping off the hamster wheel. That’s what keeps us trapped: credit cards, student loans, car payments, mortgages, etc. Debt consolidation is possible, and that can help to a certain degree. But is it enough?

Equally important are psychological factors. Sometimes I battle feelings of shame around not having an income. I am slowly embracing being supported financially by my partner. There’s an old “story” I tell myself that it’s not masculine to not be a provider. But that’s just part of the cultural narrative that I am choosing “non-participation” in.

Before I had chosen the path of non-participation in materialism, consumerism, and the 9-to-5, I was a stressed-out web developer.

Today, five years later, my current career might look impressive on LinkedIn (Public Speaker on reversing climate change, Podcast creator of “Stories from the Future,” and published author) ~ the caveat being that these endeavors haven’t generated much income.

I am a writer in the Global Change Movement, and I’m proud of my work . But are all of these things just a “Hail Mary” pass to complete my journey of purpose until they do create income?

I don’t think income is the right measure of success ~ it’s just a socially normative one. But sticking the landing on my “leap of faith” off the hamster wheel and landing on my own two feet again still seems twisted up with income … and tangled in my sense of self-worth.

I realize that I am making a contribution to the planet and to my household, but still the voice of Mother Culture persists. It tells me, “You have to strike ‘paydirt’ to be successful.” I don’t believe in avaricious amounts of money, but sometimes it’s hard to be proud about not bringing home the “beyond” bacon. I am slowly embracing being supported financially by my partner.

I do believe in the legitimacy of single-income households, it’s just that the “old story” in my head keeps telling me I am unworthy of my partner’s grace. I fear it’s not humility telling me I don’t deserve this, but self-doubt and insecurity. There are certainly still days like that for me.

As far as “professional success” goes, money isn’t going to help me reach it anyway. Speaking on behalf of all the other “007 Global Change Agents” out there, we will consider ourselves successful only when we see evidence that more global change is happening.

What if more of us were to move towards lifestyles where only some adults work for wages? What if that was normal? Is that possible? Could more of us choose to work part-time, or not participate in the wage-based economy at all?

Some of us have already been considering that lifestyle choice even if we haven’t yet taken the leap. Others could plan ahead to move in that direction. But why? Are single-income households even a good thing?

I believe they are. They would result in lifestyle changes that would keep us from over-consumption and over-production. They would diminish fossil fuel usage. We’d also get a lot of our time back, have less stress, and live healthier emotional and psychological lives.

It would be disruptive to an economy that is destructive to the environment. As a society, I see it as a goal to work towards. We can’t all be wage-slaves. There’s a point where we just have to say no and embrace a form of Gandhian “non-participation.”

Growing our own food, homeschooling kids, preparing meals ~ not to mention laundry, mopping, vacuuming and grocery shopping ~ are all essential tasks. When I was working full time, I was often too burned out to do them. Sometimes, we hire other people to do them: housecleaners, lawn mowing companies, going out to eat at restaurants, etc. Well, I’d actually rather do all of those things myself.

A point I’m trying to make is that leaving a job and income behind is as much a lifestyle shift as it is a commitment to take our time back. Potentially, partners could trade roles every other year or so, between who stays home and who works. We can be creative in finding ways to make it work.

I don’t need to strike “paydirt” in my career as a writer about Global Change to consider myself successful. My lifestyle has been a change for the better in terms of environmental impact, my personal wellbeing and, I believe, for social norms.

I believe the contributions I am making to our world and to my household are far greater now than they were when I was “working for wages.” But I suppose it depends on one’s perspective.

This 21st-century hero’s journey off the hamster wheel is not an easy one, so I would encourage anyone considering it to plan ahead, think it through, carefully, and be creative. Stepping off the hamster wheel is a leap of faith.

Read the other 2 articles in this series on Vocal:

1. Setting Boundaries @ Work
2. Quitting my job was a leap of Faith