An Unimaginable Gift

“Are you ever going to open this thing? It’s been sitting here for months.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s in it, I might not want to know.” Carissa took the black leather-bound Moleskine from its spot on the desk, where it had been since her mother brought the small collection of her grandfather’s belongings that were marked for her. That had been nearly 8 months ago now, and almost a year had gone by since his passing. “Besides, what if Grampa didn’t want me to see it? It looks like some kind of journal. Maybe it’s private.”

“If he didn’t want you to see it, I don’t think he would have left it with your name on it. There’s a reason he wanted you to have it, don’t you think?” Leaning against the island, Jack folded his arms and gave her an expectant look.

“I guess you have a point,” she answered with a sigh as she began untying the worn piece of twine her grandfather had wrapped and knotted around the little black book. When she pulled back the cover, she stumbled back into the desk, nearly knocking over the bills stacked on the corner waiting for payday.

“Holy hell, Babe. You okay over there?” Jack teased with a flash of his bright smile. Carissa could barely breathe, let alone answer, so he took the few steps to where she was still relying on the desk to hold her upright. Looking down into the book where she was staring blanky, he understood her shock. The book appeared to be intended for use as a journal, but all the pages had their middles cut out, having turned the book into makeshift box. And in the hollowed area of what used to be a blank space ready to hold the musings of Carissa’s late grandfather, was a stack of hundred-dollar bills.

After a long moment, Carissa lifted the book in Jack’s direction, still not moving her shocked eyes from where she had been holding it. “Count them, will you?” she asked in a tiny voice Jack couldn’t recall having heard from her before in the nine years he had known her. He took the book from her and moved back to the kitchen island where he would have room to spread the bills.

“There are two hundred of them. That’s…. twenty thousand dollars,” he said in his own previously unheard voice of shock. Written on the final pages of the book was a message from Carissa’s grandfather, explaining his reason for quietly leaving her this gift. Coming to Jack’s side, she wrapped her arms around him and they read together:

My dearest Carissa,

I know you wanted to keep your struggle to yourself. But I could see that you were in pain. I watched you carefully, read your reactions to everything you heard and saw in my presence, and I am certain that I figured out what caused you such pain. If I have been led to the correct conclusion, you have been struggling to start a family of your own, despite your best efforts and unwavering resolve. I also know you have been just getting by through these early years of your marriage and you haven’t been financially able to seek any medical assistance with your setbacks. Raising your mother and your uncle, and then watching you and your sister grow, have been the most wonderful and joyous times of my life. And that wonder and joy is something I desperately wish for you and Jack. And so I hope that you will use this money to do just that. Take advantage of every intervention the doctors may be able to offer you, and when your new bundle arrives- and I have faith that it will- enjoy every moment you have, for there is no greater pleasure in life. I will be watching and sending all my love.

-Grampa

The couple stood crying quietly together for nearly half an hour. When they finally dried the last of their tears, Jack quietly re-stacked the bills and tucked them back inside the little black Moleskine while Carissa re-applied her makeup and grabbed her purse. They didn’t need to say anything, they both knew where they were going. As Jack pulled into the last open space in the bank parking lot, Carissa flipped the pages of her planner and confirmed her availability for the next open appointment at the fertility clinic.

Fourteen months later, Jack and Carissa welcomed a healthy baby boy into their family, followed just two minutes later by a healthy little girl. Edward John, named after his late great-grandfather, and Edie Jane, the closest female equivalent they could conjure, were home a few days later, snuggled sleeping in the small wooden cradles the elder Edward had hand-carved for Carissa and her sister over twenty years earlier.

Jack came up and wrapped his arms around Carissa. “How about we get a little nap in, too, Momma? I know you’re exhausted.”

“I don’t think I could sleep right now. I wouldn’t want to miss their first nap at home. Look how peaceful they look. Are they not the most precious things you’ve ever seen? I can’t think of a greater gift.”

“That’s because there isn’t one, Babe. Your Grampa has blessed us beyond the imaginable.” The new parents stood in their embrace, watching their babies sleep, silently thanking Grampa Edward for the gift that brought them the family they had only dreamed about for four long and painful years. “Remember when you weren’t sure you wanted to know what was in that little black book? I can’t believe we almost didn’t look. I can’t believe we didn’t open it for almost a year.”

“I can’t believe any of this. I still feel like I’m going to wake up and realize it was all a dream.”

“This is all a dream. But here it is. Here they are. We’re living our dream.”