An Open Letter to Racists

Hey guys,

My husband is the most forgiving, understanding, accepting person on this Earth.

And as the saying goes "opposites attract" so the next person that threatens my husband or my family will understand exactly what that means.

I know, that sounds like a hostile way to start. But, I am ANGRY. I am so SO angry! Understand that this anger comes from a place of hurt and a place of fear.

I'd love to believe none of you exist. That this is all "fake news" and we can all live happily together, but I opened my eyes to this world eight years ago when I fell in love with my husband. I would get snarky comments and glares. From strangers, peers...family. Before that, I lived in what my husband likes to call my 'fairytale land' where I knew racism existed but I never had to encounter it.

Those looks and comments were nothing compared to the things I've seen my husband go through. He's had the cops called on him for various reasons, including walking in our neighborhood and changing a flat tire in an affluent neighborhood. He is thankful that all of his interactions with the police have been pleasant. I've been there for some of them...it breaks my heart what he settles for and considers as pleasant.

But the police have not been a problem for us. We understand many join the force to serve and protect and we appreciate that. What's worse is when people take things into their own hands. He once had a woman threaten him over the phone for doing his job. She told him she was a member of the NRA and if he ever called again she would make sure it was the last time. I know what you're thinking. "We don't know what was said before that. He must have provoked her" I do. I know what was said before that. It was "Hi how are you doing today? My name is Tino." That's it. That's when she cut him off. I don't know if it was his voice or his name that 'provoked' her but imagine someone you love dearly getting their life threatened for either.

So let's default to the next excuse. "That's an isolated incident. That's one bad person" I'm here to tell you it's not. It's a frequent occurrence. So much so that my husband doesn't think twice when these things happen to him. I am not so accustomed to it. That's why I'm pouring this out to you. And he is certainly not the only person living with the trials. There are people dealing with much worse.

I'm not trying to "play victim". I am not a victim. I'm just trying to make sure my children don't grow up in this world of hate. This world where they have no idea why friends suddenly aren't allowed to play with them, or seeing their hero, their daddy having his every move be a cause to call the police.

I'm reaching out to you. You criticize and condemn every time we speak up no matter how peaceful, but I refuse to give up. I'm combining my fairytale world with my husband's love and understanding. I'm putting my faith out there that there has to be a solution. Nobody likes to hear of others trauma. They want their experiences to be the most impressive. I understand. Tell me your story. I'm reaching out to you with love in my heart. Listen to my story. Start a conversation. I want to grow closer. I cannot take the negativity and my children should not have to. Let's create a world together with less negativity, fear, hurt, and anger. Let's save the future for us, and for the children.

Most sincerely,

A broken-hearted wife and mother