An Embarrassing Dilemma

I don't forget 31st July 1999 easily. Me and my husband were due to go to the hospital for a check-up on our baby. I was 2 days late already, and getting really fed up with it. I'd tried everything to get it going, moving around, getting on all fours, and we even walked the entire length of Temple Newsam, but no! this baby was staying where it is, it didn't want to be born, it was quite comfortable inside me. The baby was still moving around alot, despite the size of her, and despite the strong kicks, she still refused to come out! I was carrying a girl who kicked strong and almost knocked me over, but even that wasn't enough to get my labour going. I was on the toilet every 5 minutes because every time the baby kicked, she seemed to take pleasure kicking my bladder. It was getting totally embarrassing, because people thought I was incontinent and I had to explain I was pregnant. We went for 5 different walks that day, and we even tried sex, but no, this baby wasn't coming.

After our long walk, we headed home. I suddenly felt a massive pull in my stomach while lying on the bed, making me want to desperately pee everywhere. I tried getting to the toilet on time, bearing in mind that my husband was at the side of me, so I didn't want to wet the bedsheets. I attempted to get of the bed, but I was too slow! I ended up wetting the bed sheets, then to mine and my husbands horror, vomited everywhere. I went bright red, apologising to my husband for almost soaking him and making him clean up after me. The contractions were getting painful now, and I was swearing with them. "Can't you just get in there pull her out? I asked my husband, out of frustration. He just laughed at me for it, and I responded with "Well, you are a nurse, and this is child-birth!" without even thinking. All I wanted to do was get this baby out, as this had gone on all day. I suddenly burst into tears and apologised to my husband again for making him wet. The contractions were so strong now, they were pulling me to the floor, and I was so hot, I threw my clothes off out of frustration and decided to walk naked around the house, forgetting there were windows in the house because all I wanted was for this baby to be born.

3 hours later, I run to the toilet, feeling both constipated and like I was going to pee for England! It never happened, though I sat there for 1 hour! It felt like the baby had her feet on my bladder because the pressure was intense, and I didn't dare move, in case my bowels and bladder opened up on the floor. After 1 hour, I went back into the bedroom, and ended up changing my underwear as I had a little accident. I made up the excuse that I wanted to be fresh, I wasn't going to suffer the embarrassment of telling my husband what really happened! After this, we decided to head to the hospital, and after all my frustration, the midwife comes out with "your dilated enough yet! I told her that I had had a show and the contractions were really bad, only to be told that this baby won't be coming until a couple of hours later. The midwife offered me gas and air, and I broke the gas mask several times because I held it so tight, then on one occassion, accidently threw it on the floor out of frustration.

The midwife decided my waters needed breaking, and at this point I was offered an epidural which completely numbed the pain, but left me without any sensations to a point where I couldn't feel myself push, and I was falling asleep inbetween pushing. 1 hour later, it sounded like their was a football team in the labour room, as my husband and midwife started chanting for me to push. I swore at them, and told them I was pushing and they needed to shut up. I kept edging towards the end of the bed, almost falling off it several times. After over 7 hours of later our beautiful baby daughter arrived. I wasn't aware the baby had been born straight away, and I asked the midwife if I had pushed her back in. Yet again, I bled all over the bed and ended up apologising for that too. At this point, I remembered what had happened back home, and I'm not sure whether it was the effects of the epidural, but I asked my husband why he had wet himself!