Always Drive Behind the Snowplow

I admit it. I am a total wimp when it comes to driving in the snow or ice. I could be in a tank and still not venture out into the snow. My mother, knowing this about me, never chided me for my so-called weakness. She always told me to be careful of my own driving as well as others on the road and in case of bad weather to always drive behind the snowplow. That way they will clear a path for you, and you know the road will be safe for travel. This is also good advice for life.

There is no shame in seeking someone who has already paved the way for us to make it safer to follow behind them. It could be a teacher, a mentor, a parent, or anyone who has gone before and made things easier. We don’t always have to lead and there is nothing wrong in admitting we are afraid. That makes us human, although most of us don’t want to admit that.

I, for one, would love to be immortal and never have to fear old age and dying. To live in perpetual summer and never have to face an icy road again. However, to me, those icy roads are there for a reason and although treacherous at times, make me feel stronger having crossed them and gotten home safely.

When faced with an icy road (a challenge) take your time getting through it. Tiptoe if you have to but take your time and you will arrive at your destination in one piece. Therefore, the next time you are faced with an icy road, look for the snowplow and get behind it, sometimes it’s okay to follow as long as the one in front of you is paving the way.

When my brother and I were children, our parents both had their own businesses. Our mother opened up a small antique shop, “Vicki’s Antiques” on our farm, and was the first person on our road to have a yard sale. She didn’t mind the comments about the “new people” who were venturing into unknown territory. She wanted to stay at home with us kids and open a shop. Our father had a gun shop there as well. Although he had a prominent job with the government, his true passion was selling and repairing guns. As kids, we would hate it when someone referred to us as “Vicki’s kids” or “Phil’s kids”. We wanted our own identity, to be known for being ourselves.

However, what we didn’t realize until we got older was that it was okay to be known as someone’s children, in fact, it was important to be titled that way. Our parents were innovative and resourceful, and as a child, I rarely appreciated that. I saw them as different or as standing out, and sometimes we want to shy away from anything that is not mainstream. Our parents were wonderful, loving people and deeply respected in our area. They lived their lives for us and believe me as we aged, being known as “Vicki’s kids” or “Phil’s kids” was actually quite a compliment and it opened many doors for us. They paved the way!

It’s okay to be stubborn, hard-headed, and independent, but there may be times when someone else can lead you to an unopened door, open it, you might be surprised at what you find there. It doesn’t matter how you got there; the important thing is you did.

I remember as a teenager I got my first car. My parents had taken me out and looked far and wide, but I kept telling them I would know it when I saw it. One day as we traveled into town, there it was. A 1970 Camaro. Blue with white racing stripes, mag wheels, a 350 four-barrel engine, and a spoiler on the back. I was 15, and this was my dream car. My father knew the man who was selling the car and called my mother from their living room, then put me on the phone. She was leery of me having such a “fast” car, but I reassured her I would be okay.

My father collected Cadillacs. He loved them in every color and year. He traded a periwinkle blue Cadillac plus some cash for the Camaro. Within moments of seeing it for the first time, it was mine! A few months after I got it, I got a call from a friend who needed a ride from another person’s house. I went to the location to retrieve her and as I backed out of this stranger’s driveway; I overestimated the paved drive and landed right into a deep ditch. I had no choice but to call for a tow truck. The man took one look at me, a long-haired blonde with Farrah Fawcett hair and lip gloss, and must have thought what a dumb blonde! When he told me how much it would cost to get me out of the ditch, I told him the truth; I didn’t have enough money to pay for the tow, and he hit the roof, accused me of wasting his time, and demanded to know how I was going to pay him.

I told him I was Phil Proulx’s daughter and told him where I lived, and as soon as he heard that he calmed down. He said he knew my father from the gun dealership and my father had been fair to him in a gun deal. He was kind enough to tow me for nothing. But my father went to the shop the next day and paid him. I know I sound like a spoiled brat and although I had to swallow some teenage pride that night; it taught me a lesson. Now mind you, I didn’t always use my name to get me out of a jam, but as a young person who was trying to be independent and find her own way, it didn’t hurt to have my parents pave the way for me.

In 2006, as my mother lay dying, we talked about so many things. She gave me more advice in those few months than I think she gave me in my entire life. It was hard though for me to take it. Even then, as I was about to lose the first person I had ever met, my mother, I still had to be the independent one and thought I knew everything. I knew nothing.

We kept a notebook by her bed to not only record her daily medication, but we wrote things she said. Some were hilarious and out of character for her and for someone who admitted to having no sense of humor she was quite funny in her own way. Some things she said were poignant, while others made no sense, but we wrote them down anyway.

Looking back on those spiral pages now, it brings back a lot of memories, some good, and some bad. But they are memories just the same. Memories of a woman who was strong, dedicated, loving, and truly our best friend.

She had a life worth remembering and paved the way for many of us. I was happy to follow behind her. ♥