Allowance?

When I was coming up, people—children—did chores to earn their allowance. Chores consisted of cleaning anything in the house outside of your bedroom.

Now, I never really had chores myself. It was my mother, her mother (Gram), and myself in the house. Maybe my lack of being given chores was my mom wanting me to just enjoy my time as a child. Maybe it was because, between her and Gram, everything just always got done. Maybe it was because you did chores for an allowance and, being that my mother was a single mom, she didn't have enough to pay me weekly. Whatever it was, I didn't have chores and I didn't have an allowance.

Now that I have children, I wish I had chores when I was growing up. See, I'm a procrastinator by nature. I believe that came from not having chores. If I brought my laundry downstairs to be washed, they magically made their way through the washer and dryer and wound up back in my closet. If I needed a particular outfit because we had to wear a themed color in school, that outfit was clean, ironed and ready when I woke up.

I think what really made me realize the difference between me and my friends was in 8th grade home economics class. We were making shorts. Everything was running smoothly until the teacher told me, "great seam. Go and iron it and I'll show you the next step." She started to walk away. "Um, can you show me how to use the iron?" I swear—everyone in the class stopped moving and stared at me, including the teacher.

"You don't know how to use an iron?"

"No." I thought there was some instinctive ability everyone should have that somehow bypassed me.

"How do your clothes get ironed?"

"I leave it on top of the dryer and Gram irons it."

With that, everyone in the class started recounting stories of how old they were when they were required to take over their own laundry, from washing to drying, ironing and putting it away.

My kids have chores. From the time my oldest could understand me and walk, she cleaned up her toys. Now, beyond bedrooms and playroom, they (my oldest 4 children) have regular weekly chores. This includes washing dishes, taking out the garbage, running the vacuum, walking and feeding the dog, feeding the fish, sweeping the kitchen floor, and helping with laundry. The 2- and 1-year-olds pick up their own toys after playing.

Yes, they've asked about allowances, and we've actually considered it. But...wait a minute...I didn't get paid to clean the ceiling fan blades, cook dinner, buy food or do the laundry. I didn't get paid to change diapers (and make sure they were thrown out). I don't get paid to stand there tutoring you over your homework, yet I do it daily. Why not? Because I live here and it needs to be done so I do it. It's part of household maintenance. Therefore, why should I pay you to wash the dishes you ate off of? Why should I pay you to put away your clothing that I washed, dried, sorted by person, and folded?

You live here too. Don't want to clean your room? Fine, but don't ask to have company over. Don't want to wash dishes? OK. When I cook the next meal, I'll make sure I have some paper plates on hand for those not old enough to fend for themselves. Don't want to walk the dog you begged me for? I'm sure there's plenty of good homes out there for him. So, after I have to stand here and remind you of all this just to get you to complete your chores—something that needs to be done because you live here—don't ask me to pay you for it as well.