Aggression in parents, the effects on children and ways to deal with it

Anger can show up as a response to physical pain, as a way to protect oneself from an attack by a predator, or as a result of fear. Aggression can be dealt with as it is a behaviour that is intended to cause harm or damage to another person or object. Anger becomes aggression, and aggression becomes abuse. Anger can become abuse when it is used to control or dominate another person. It can be physical, verbal, or emotional. In other countries, mainly the US and Canada, children are taken away from their parents if they are raised in an abusive home. As given in the child welfare system, most families first become involved with the system because of a report of suspected child abuse or neglect, which is also referred to as “child maltreatment.” Child maltreatment is defined by CAPTA as serious harm (e.g., physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or neglect) caused to children by parents or primary caregivers, such as extended family members or babysitters (2020, Child Welfare Information Gateway). And just because India does not have such services, we take these forms of abuse and our children’s early years extremely lightly.

Reasons for aggression:

You might be frustrated, stressed, or angry over something else, but sometimes you end up displacing it toward your children. Or you yourself might be victims of unstable parenting and, hence, don’t know the right way to help your kids. Here is a list of factors that might be reasons for aggression:

Biological factors

Some chemical changes in the brain and other biological factors that might contribute to anger are:

Irregular brain growth. Aggression has been linked by experts to both more activity in the amygdala and less activity in the prefrontal cortex. Lesions in the brain, which can be caused by neurodegenerative diseases, can also make people act aggressively. (Stephen M. Soreff; Vikas Gupta; Roopma Wadhwa; Hasan Arif.)

Genetics. Mutations in some genes, like the monoamine oxidase A gene, can also play a role.

Hormone and chemical abnormalities in the brain Some neurotransmitters, like serotonin, dopamine, and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), can cause violent behaviour if they are too high or too low. People of any gender who have high levels of testosterone may also act more aggressively.

Prescription drugs and other chemicals can have side effects. Medicines and other drugs that change the brain can sometimes make people act aggressively. Corticosteroids, alcohol, anabolic steroids, and phencyclidine (PCP) are all examples of such drugs.

Illnesses and injuries. Aggressive behaviour could be caused by health problems that hurt your brain, such as a stroke, dementia, or a blow to the head.

Mental and behavioural factors

Sometimes, underlying mental health issues can lead to aggressive behaviour, such as:

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).

Autism

Bipolar disorder

Schizophrenia

Depression

Substance use problems

Some personality conditions, like borderline, antisocial, and narcissistic disorders

chronic stress.

Aggression doesn’t always mean you have a mental health problem; having a mental health diagnosis doesn’t mean you’ll always act aggressively toward others, and acting aggressively toward others doesn’t always mean you have an underlying mental health issue.

Environmental factors

Situations and problems in your daily life and surroundings can also have an impact.

Aggression is a common reaction to worry, fear, or feeling like you’re losing control. You might also act aggressively when you’re angry, hurt, or don’t feel heard, especially if you’ve never learned how to handle your feelings well. Yet none of these justifies aggressive behaviour.

You may also be more likely to act aggressively if you were raised with violence and anger. This could occur if:

had violent parents and caregivers or siblings who bullied you;

grew up in a neighbourhood or community where violence and aggression happened and

often got cruel or unfair treatment from workmates, bosses, or anyone else.

Children who are raised by aggressive parents are at increased risk for a number of emotional and mental problems. These problems can include:

Anxiety

Depression

Low self-esteem

Behaviour problems

Substance abuse

Violence

Trauma

Increased aggression

Aggressive parenting can also lead to long-term problems in children’s relationships, their ability to cope with stress, and their overall mental health.

How to deal with aggression:

Meditation: Meditation can help people calm their minds and bodies, and learn to focus on the present moment.

Yoga: Yoga can help people improve their flexibility, strength, and balance, and it can also help them to relax and de-stress.

Exercise: Exercise is a great way to release pent-up energy and improve your mood.

Sleep: Getting enough sleep is essential for your physical and mental health. When you’re well-rested, you’re better able to cope with stress and manage your emotions.

Nutrition: Eating a healthy diet can help you feel better physically and mentally. Eating plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can help to improve your mood and energy levels.

Social support: Having strong social support can help you cope with stress and difficult emotions. Spend time with friends and family who make you feel good about yourself

Spend time with loved ones. Having strong social support can help you cope with stress and difficult emotions. Spend time with friends and family who make you feel good about yourself. If you are struggling to communicate with your family, you can even try family therapy.

Avoid alcohol and drugs. Alcohol and drugs can make you more aggressive. If you have a problem with alcohol or drugs, seek professional help.

Rethink your parenting style: Parenting style is how you grow and teach your children values. Interesting read on respectful parenting.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re struggling to manage your anger, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a friend, family member, or therapist.

Learn to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. If you’ve done something to hurt someone, learn to forgive yourself and move on.

Be patient with yourself. It takes time to learn how to manage your anger effectively. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results immediately.

Celebrate your successes. When you do something to manage your anger effectively, take a moment to celebrate your success. This will help you stay motivated.

Don’t give up. Managing your anger is a lifelong journey. There will be setbacks along the way, but don’t give up. Keep working at it and you will eventually succeed.

Seeking professional help: If you’re struggling to manage your aggression on your own, seek professional help. A therapist can teach you coping skills and help you understand the root of your anger.

– Urveez Kakalia and Sakshi Merai.