After giving it all, my 18-year-old daughter ruined me: of all the Chinese parents' behavior, it was the most poignant.

Some people say that the greatest sorrow of Chinese parents is that they give everything but cannot raise grateful children.

Remembering the previous news, Mr. Chai from Chengdu begged netizens on Weibo to let his 18-year-old daughter return 3.2 million so that he could move on with his life.

It turned out that after his divorce, Mr. Chai always felt indebted to his daughter, so he usually took whatever he wanted from his daughter. In 2017, his daughter got the opportunity to study in Canada. Mr. Chai was very happy. He got a bank card for his daughter, deposited it with 3.2 million yuan, and told his daughter to transfer money to her every month.

To his surprise, his daughter took her bank card to Canada to enjoy a luxurious life in Canada. The savings of Mr. Chai who stayed in China for decades were ransacked by his daughter, making it difficult for him to make a living.

There is a saying in "especially cruel and loving": "Chinese parents give too much love to their children, not too little."

Too much love makes children numb, and parents' hard work and sacrifice are a small thing that they are used to. They don't feel the pain of their parents at all, they only care about whether they are happy or not.

Parents who give wholeheartedly reap the ruthlessness of their children.

Earlier, the report of a 23-year-old Spanish student publicly abusing his parents went viral, causing an uproar among netizens.

The language posted on the Internet was so vicious that she called her father "old man" and mocked her mother as "crazy pig". There were many more vulgar words than that.

Is it true that her parents did something intolerable to her? the further exposure of the matter is even more chilling.

It turned out that the father received the overseas consumption bill of the credit card and asked his daughter about the expenses. And hope that children can control their consumption at about 10,000 yuan, which can ease their own pressure.

Dad didn't show a trace of exasperation in the chat transcript. From gentle inquiries, patient explanations, earnest advice to helpless pleas, be careful with every word.

"Dad is not quarreling with you. I hope you are sensible and understand that it is not easy for your father."

"Dad is 51 years old and old."

And the child who spoke to him was aggressive in every word, bored and indifferent, and had no understanding or apology at all.

"I need it before the bank transfer. It's all an emergency."

"that's it. Goodbye."

"it's not easy for me either. It's impossible for me not to eat."

Is it true that 10,000 yuan can't eat in Spain? a student who was also studying in Spain told the truth. He said his monthly expenses are equivalent to about 4000 yuan without saving.

It can be seen that it is not that 10,000 yuan is not enough for the basic expenses of living, but that the girl has become accustomed to her parents to pay for themselves. She takes it for granted that her parents should pay her bills. if they fail, it is not because of her profligacy, but because of their incompetence.

Parents give wholeheartedly, do not ask their children for the same return, but only ask for thoughtfulness and understanding. Unexpectedly, in exchange for the child's condemnation and abuse, merciless treatment.

That word stabs at parents like a sword, as Shakespeare wrote in King Lear:

Ungrateful children are more painful than the sharp teeth of poisonous snakes.

The best love is not selfless, but mutual.

A video of a 3-year-old boy standing on a stool taking care of his vegetative father went viral on Weibo on March 28th.

The video shows the little boy standing on the stool, struggling to stand up, stretching out his small hand to his father lying on the bed, trying to help his father and straighten his head.

The 16-second video has attracted the attention of netizens after it was released. When you understand the story behind the video, it is more tearful.

My father, who was lying in bed, became a vegetable because of illness two years ago and lost the ability to take care of himself. Usually, my mother has to work and grandparents help to take care of them. That day, the old man happened to be outside the house. When the child saw his father's head tilted to the side of the bed, he wanted to straighten his father.

"he said he couldn't move it." My mother was very distressed when she saw the video taken by the camera. The mother said in an interview with the reporter that the son saw the process of his family taking care of his father, so he would take care of his father like his family.

Moreover, the two children in the family are very sensible. The 10-year-old daughter will also help the family take care of her brother, bathe her brother and put her brother to bed.

Of course, the father's situation is rare in life, but the love flowing between parents and children makes us feel very warm. A family, with love at the bottom, will have infinite cohesion. Whether we are in adversity or prosperity, this cohesion will make us happy.

Parents spend painstaking efforts to take care of their children and raise them to grow up; children try their best to care for their parents when they need help and care.

As the Italian poet Dante Aligieri said: love is always mutual.

If parents blindly give to their children and let them take whatever they want, such selfless love is harmful to their children. It will make children lose gratitude, and children will become more and more numb, thinking that parents should do anything for themselves.

Educator Makalienko said: "everything is given to the children, sacrificing everything, even their own happiness." This is the scariest gift parents can give to their children. "

In the process of raising children, let us tell our children that parents also need your love.

The best love is not selfless, but mutual.

Raising a grateful child is the greatest blessing of a family.

Educator Feng Nuski said: "what children become depends on their parents."

1 there should be a sense of boundary between parents and children

This phenomenon occurs in many of our families. We can draw a clear line with other families, but we have no boundaries in dealing with our relationship with our children.

Everything in the family is shared, parents are extremely willing to help their children deal with things, and children make demands to their parents at will. "one family does not speak two words" has become a consensus.

However, this blurring of boundaries will make the child lack a sense of independence and self-awareness, and he will gradually feel that he and his parents are indistinguishable from each other. Parents have an obligation to do everything they can to help them with all their wishes and thoughts; similarly, they are used to the phenomenon that parents are too involved in their own lives.

Psychologists have found that children's self-awareness and boundary awareness begin to awaken when they are about two years old.

From the age of two, parents can consciously cultivate their children's awareness of boundaries, "whose things have the right to use,"other people's things must be used with the consent of others," and "do things of their own."

By cultivating children's sense of boundary, they can gradually understand that their parents' love is selfless and has boundaries. In this way, when they grow up, they can better distinguish between themselves and their parents' life issues, and live their own lives independently.

Parents should be willing to use their children and dare to show weakness to their children

Friend Xiao Lin has a 12-year-old boy. Every time Xiao Lin posts pictures with the child on moments, friends find that her son is either holding a bag or carrying water, while his mother Xiao Lin is beautifully posing for pictures with empty hands.

Everyone asked about Kobayashi's way of raising children, and Kobayashi said that there were only two ways to teach her.

First, they are