After All These Years

Never in a million years, did she think she would be returning to this place. It's not that it held bad memories, in fact it is the complete opposite. It holds too many good memories. Is that possible? For a place to be tarnished because it holds exuberant amounts of joy and laughter? Of love? Perhaps if your unsure if those things, that level of contentment, will ever be achieved again. Is that the reason why she left so long ago? To see if she could be happy, just as happy, somewhere else?

Dismissing her thoughts, she gives a soft shake of her head as she makes her way across the open field. This once used to be a vast corn field that separated the main house from the barn, but that had been plowed down years ago. The soil not recycled enough and it's nutrients depleted, left only grass and weeds able to take root. The tall dry grass hisses as the wind weaves between the blades, brushing against her sides.

This field is where she and her brother learned to walk, to run, to slide just right between the stalks so that the seeker could not follow your path during hide and seek. It is the place where their grandparents had allowed them that one year to make a corn maze for profit during the fall months, but they themselves had gotten lost inside while attempting to create a more difficult path. They hadn't returned to the house until well after nightfall, only to find that their grandparents had taken bets on how long it would take them to find their way out.

A smile tugs up the corners of her mouth, eyes fluttering shut as she pictures her grandparents at the dinner table. Papa cursing under his breath as they came in covered in dirt and grass and corn shucks, passing a few bills to Nana who giddily tucked them into her bosom.

She shudders, suddenly chilled as a massive shadow blots out the warmth of the sun. Slowly, she opens her eyes to find herself face to face with the barn door.

The red has faded to a brownish-orange rust. Paint peels in places where the weather has been a bit too cruel, exposing the grain of the wood. There are several planks missing, but it stands.

Hesitantly, she lifts a hand, unsure if this one small push will be what brings the entire structure to collapse. With a deep breath that tightens her chest, she unlatches the door and steps inside.

Golden yellow-white light slices through the darkness through the missing planks on the walls. The dirt ground has a scattering of brown hay and a mixture of grime and dust from animals that may have crept in over the years, but otherwise the inside is immaculate compared to the outside. Cobwebs dangle in the corners, but the structure is wholly intact. The beams hardly looking weather. Papa would be proud.

Her brother's work bench still sits in the corner with a healthy coating of dust, layers so thick that she can make out the carpet-like texture along the surface. When he wasn't using this space to fix trinkets, he dissected owl pellets found around the barn to study the diet and habits of the resident barn owl to make sure it ate the mice that threatened their home and harvest. She found the act itself disgusting, but could not deny her fascination when he would should her a recreated skeleton from the pellets.

Practically gliding over the floor causing little dust swirls around her feet, she proceeds deeper. This is the stale where they kept the two cows she was sent to milk every morning, Betsy and Carol. That back one is where she lost her virginity to her life-long crush in the heat of summer; hay sticking to their sweaty bodies as they fumbled their way through their first time. That broken barn window from the one and only party they ever threw at the barn after graduation when that same life-long crush (who most definitely was no longer an interest by the time of said graduation party) thought it a brilliant idea to show his prowess by challenging the others to run and leap through the window.

This place, she released a longing sigh before wrapping her arms around her swollen stomach, holds so much memory and with a bit more love it could be just as beautiful as it once was. This place is the perfect place to start again.