Two days ago, I saw a data on the Internet:
The survey found that about 54% of people feel regret after divorce.
Regardless of whether this data is accurate or not, in my background messages, there are many readers who regret their divorce.
Before the divorce, I wish I could end the marriage immediately. But after the divorce, I found that the last marriage was not so bad, and I began to miss the good of my ex.
Some people say, isn't this the true portrayal of a man? After a divorce, men should be more likely to regret it than women, right?
Some people also say that women lose their price after divorce, and it is difficult to find a suitable person, and it should be the woman who regrets it.
Men and women, who is more regretful? Talk to you about this today.
"After the divorce, I found out that my ex was good"
I once read the self-report of a divorced man on the Internet, which is very emotional.
The moment he walked out of the Civil Affairs Bureau after finishing the divorce formalities with his wife, he felt that the air was fresher - he was free.
He is still young and can make money, so he can definitely find a better one, but his wife is "ugly and fat, and doesn't like to dress up", he has long been uncomfortable with it.
Life after the divorce is very comfortable. I invite friends to drink until the early morning, and no one makes serial calls. Even if I don't return home at night, no one chases him and asks where he went.
Who would have thought that after a few days of being happy, he regretted it.
When he got home, he saw that the ingredients in the refrigerator were about to go bad, but he couldn't cook, the floor was getting dirty, he didn't bother to mop, and the clothes on the balcony had been hanging for days...
He was a little irritable. He sat on the sofa for a while, and inadvertently glanced at his son's test paper on the table. Only then did he realize that his son was already in the third grade. He scored 100 points in the test, and his wife's signature was on it.
It turned out that she was doing so many things at home alone.
He flipped through the photo album and saw that she was thin and beautiful when she first got married, but now she has become a "yellow-faced woman" with a loud voice.
He never thought that it was marriage that made her like this.
As for him, after being a "hands-off shopkeeper" for so many years, his wife can still treat him so well, but he doesn't know how to cherish it.
So, are men really more likely to regret it?
Don't worry, let's take a look at the experience of a female reader.
Two months ago, Xiaoya resolutely divorced despite the dissuasion of those around her.
Her ex-husband was good to her, but she was very dull and her family was average. Before marriage, she had some concerns, but her family was pressing hard, so she compromised.
But marriage can't dilute her dissatisfaction, it will only grow more dissatisfaction in her heart.
She has always been competitive, but now she has no sense of superiority in front of her sisters. Looking at other people's husbands, she only hates that she married the wrong person.
Soon, she met a rich and romantic man.
Whether she was overwhelmed by the sweet words or thought she deserved better, she divorced and remarried without hesitation.
But not long after the marriage, she found that the other party seemed to be a different person, grumpy, impatient, and her marriage life was a piece of shit.
She regretted it.
She got material satisfaction, but lost a person who really treated her.
Regrets after a divorce, often because of a bad life
When divorce is proposed, most of them really want to leave, so why do you regret it after you get divorced?
After all, it's a bad life after the divorce.
It is said that marriage is for happiness, and divorce is even more so.
A person chooses to divorce, for whatever reason, in order to get rid of pain and find new happiness.
But some people find after divorce that their life is not as good as they imagined, and it is even far worse than before the divorce.
A person who yearns for freedom thinks that if he is freed from the shackles of marriage, he will be able to live happily. After a long time of loneliness, he finds that the days of quarrels in the past are nostalgic;
A person who dislikes his partner thinks that he can find a better one after a divorce, but after having more experience, he finds that the first one he encounters is already the best;
A cheating person thinks that he has found true love outside of marriage, only to find out after divorce and marriage that the so-called true love is an illusion. That seemingly perfect lover has flaws and shortcomings...
They regret not cherishing their ex. In the last marriage, they failed to give their best and manage a relationship well.
But going back in time, can they do it?
People who regret after divorce may also regret it if they don't.
They always have expectations for another option in their hearts. When the status quo is not satisfactory and the problem cannot be solved, they feel that another option can get rid of misfortune.
When things go wrong in their marriage, they feel that they might meet a better person and be happier after the divorce.
If you have a bad life after a divorce, you will feel that if you hadn't divorced, you wouldn't be what you are now.
But it's not all their fault, and none of them have a God-perspective. Divorce is like opening a blind box. Some people open up rebirth, and some people fall into another abyss.
Of course, the person who has passed the better after divorce will not regret it. Only after the comparison, the person who finds that the life is not as good as before will regret the wrong choice.
Don't use divorce as a way to avoid problems
After a bad life, will you regret it?
Life may be harder for some people after a divorce, but it's better than having to endure the torture of the other half.
And those who feel regret thought that they would be happy if they changed to another person, but did not realize that the problem actually lies with themselves.
Lina and her husband have been married for 6 years and have had 3 divorces.
She felt that her husband did not care enough about her and did not respect her.
They quarreled at both ends for three days, and when the quarrel was fierce, she couldn't help but ask for a divorce, but her husband didn't agree on the first two occasions.
Until the third time, the husband blurted out: "Leave, leave!"
When they arrived at the Civil Affairs Bureau, the staff saw that they were still angry and persuaded them to go back.
The marriage was not divorced, but Lina calmed down.
She figured out that the biggest problem in marriage was the imbalance in the relationship and her lack of self-confidence.
They had a child two years ago, and in order to take care of the family, she quit her job and became a stay-at-home mom.
Without her job and her body and appearance, she was worried about her husband cheating, and always wanted to test his sincerity.
As long as my husband was a little impatient and neglected, she felt: Sure enough, he began to dislike me.
Resentment occupied her heart, she wanted to get a divorce and find someone who "really loves herself".
Can you really find happiness after a divorce?
Some can, some can't.
For people who avoid problems, when the marriage becomes unhappy, they will push all the problems to the other half, thinking that just changing partners will make the marriage better.
As everyone knows, if some problems are not solved, failures will be repeated.
Some studies have found that the problems that a person had in the previous marriage are very likely to appear again in the next marriage, and the probability of failure in the second marriage is even higher than that in the first one.
Of course, this is not to teach everyone to learn to forbear and blindly blame themselves for the problem.
But I want to say that if you know how to reflect on yourself in marriage and have a clear conscience, you will not regret it even if you end up getting divorced, or even if you have a bad life after the divorce.
After all, not all marriages are worth saving, such as domestic violence, derailment, gambling and other principled mistakes.
But if the problem is clearly solvable, but you always want to use divorce to escape, then changing a hundred people and marrying a hundred times may not be completely satisfactory.
Who will regret the most after a divorce?
Not a man, not a woman, but the person who had a bad life after the divorce and realized that the failure of the marriage was mainly his own fault.
But divorce has become a fact, no matter how regretful it is, it will not help. It is better to learn to reflect and avoid making the same mistake next time.
In the next relationship, make up for your shortcomings and manage your marriage well, you can also create new happiness.