Adventure for Us

Ever since we were little, my sister, Mackenzie, and I went on adventures. We went everywhere together and were considered to be inseparable by most. With only a years difference between us, we were closer than any of our other siblings, and we knew it. Of course, we fought, but it wasn’t often.

Our adventures took us everywhere, from the Warrior Cats to Hogwarts to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Then we also traveled with our family, visiting twenty-eight states, Mexico, and Canada. And everywhere we went we had each other.

Until she decided to grow up. I say this very purposefully. Mackenzie decided to grow up at twelve. We were on a road trip to Texas to visit family. Rather than sit in the back and pretend that we were kidnapped superheroes on our way to a secret government facility like we usually did, she elected to lock herself in the bathroom and cry dramatically—for a week. This was because my parents didn’t let her stay home on her own.

Things changed after that. It was an odd shift. I grew closer to my younger sister, Lindzy, and Mackenzie and I grew apart. There was a certain pain in knowing things had changed. I didn’t understand why she wanted to be so grown up. I never understood it. I still don’t.

It wasn’t until December of 2017 that we reconnected. She was living in Alaska at the time, and I went up to visit her. We went hiking with our cousin, and I saw a light in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in years. I thought her life had been destroyed by meth and alcohol, but, in a few shaky polaroids, I saw her reclaiming it.

In February of 2018, I was finally growing up for myself and moving out. I was headed to Spokane to live, and I found out Mackenzie would be joining me. I dreaded this. I hated the idea of it. We’d grown so distant in the years since we’d been children. We never really reconnected. I decided to go anyways. I wanted to get away from my parents, and this seemed like the best way to do it.

Things were rocky at first. Then she got her car and started telling me her plans. When she told me she was going to drive herself to Florida to swim with manatees, I asked if I could join her to split costs. We could busk for extra cash and work when we needed, and I finally saw an opportunity to reclaim my sister. For the first time since I was a child, I had my sister back.

She left Spokane, with a promise that she would return later to get me, and we would travel together. We would see the world. After Florida, we could save our money and meet up to go to Spain. We would hike "The Way" and find things that no one else could ever find. We didn’t talk much after she left, but, when we did, it was about the adventures we were going to go on together; it was about the side of the world that only we were going to see.

When she died, I didn’t want to believe it. We’d never gone anywhere. We hadn’t seen the world we wanted to. When I learned that my parents were going to let me inherit her car, I couldn’t believe it. I’m not a big believer in signs from the universe. I don’t think there’s any higher power directing the world. But I do believe that this means something.

I looked at everything I had saved, and now I know what I have to do. I wonder if I’ll be able to do this, but somehow I know I’m the only one who can. All I have is a necklace, a pin, and her car, and I’m going to go to Florida. I’m going to swim with manatees and busk for money and park on the beach underneath the stars for the night. Next July, I’m going, and no man or god can stop me. After that, I’m going to Spain. She and I will hike The Way.

I’ll probably document as I go, writing articles every night about sleeping at rest stops, telling the world about my journey. I’ll video and Instagram and let everyone know that we are doing this. Her spirit will be there to help me power through. Together our dreams will come true. I know they will.