A TV Host Gives A Loving Touch To My Mom

At one point, we used to subscribe to a show on cable, called, "Later...With Jools Holland." He’s the British chap who hosts a BBC show featuring a list of stellar musicians from the past and the present. This wonderful host has been doing it since 1992 and he could be considered the current Ed Sullivan, the TV legend who showcased the likes of Elvis and The Beatles.

Watching the show made me feel like I was at a music festival --there is such a wide variety of musicians, from African drummers, hip hop, souls and blues, to more mainstream musicians like Elton John, Paul McCartney and Elvis Costello.

When Jools introduces the acts, he is usually smiling, quite charming, and cheerful. It often seems like he is talking to the viewer directly.

My mom likes Jools and when he turns on the charm, she smiles back and says “Hello, “ too. She claps for the musicians, too, and for Tony Bennett when he sang one evening. But mostly, she likes Jools.

She tells me that if I had any sense and acted nice, Jools, too, could be smiling at me, too.

My Mom has memory problems --the doctor told us it is Alzheimers. This dreadful disease has turned all of our lives upside down. My Mom used to be very active --cooking, cleaning and taking care of even sick and injured animals. But since her diagnosis, her life is not the same. She can barely complete a sentence.

We noticed sometime was wrong with small things. I would come home from work to try to take her out, but she wouldn't want to get up. My Mom would lay in bed for hours and be grumpy and quite irritable. After doing some research, our family put her on coconut oil and tried giving her many different supplements, but all to no avail. My Mom is disinterested in a lot of things now.

TV does not interest her much. She walks away when there is news and lot of movies don’t have enough interest for her. Modern movies have too much violence, she says. And she didn’t quite understand the movie about a man in love with his computer’s operating system.

But she perks up when Jools talks or plays music on his show. He smiles and talks in his affable, British accent which keeps my 85 year-old mom riveted in her chair. The musicians come on and sing and play various instruments.

Jools seems to look in my Mom’s direction and it does look to me like he is talking and smiling to her.

I like to think that Jools is a secret weapon for people living with dementia. Music, but more importantly, smiles and kindness go a long, long way towards someone living with Alzheimers.

There are millions of people around the world living with Alzheimers and it is a horrible disease. It is an illness that scientists have yet discovered a cure and as we wait for science to develop a magic drug, families like myself have to cope.

Fast forward, 5 years later, my Mom is now 90 years old. She can no longer walk, and we must move her around in her wheelchair and tend to her personal and physical needs. Her speaking has trickled to a nod or a grunt.

Despite her physical disposition, my Mom is always ready to listen to music, and there are plenty of good Gordon Lightfoot tunes to be found on Youtube. Still, I wish my TV provider would bring back Jools Holland. I know that my Mom would welcome back her old friend with laughing eyes and clapping hands. I was once told by a person who researched the subject is that one of the last things that fade from an elderly person suffering from dementia or Alzheimers is the gift of hearing. Hurrah for music, too, for bringing joy to the elderly.