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A letter to you

A new beginning

By April LiaoPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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A letter to you
Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash

A child always adores their mother . I always adored you . We grew and got older. Mostly together , as you were young when you had me. You went through abuse and unkind behaviors too. I mainly understand you and what you’ve experienced in life. I know you dislike me because you hate my dad. But it’s hardly a reason to dislike someone . You getting pregnant was not my fault. You always told me about it as if I was the person who did it . When all I was is a child. I don’t know why in this family I was a outsider . I don’t know why everyone made things difficult for me. Or why when you saw my depression you didn’t help me.

I made the decision to stop letting you in my life. I was told to call less when I was going through a lot. I don’t understand why you always pushed me away. One bond that should always be strong and caring is a child and a mother . That should be a forever bond full of learning, care and growth not demonizing the child. I know this isn’t a letter of what you want to hear . But this is my truth . Why was it so hard to be loved by you . I spent a long time hearing how amazing roger was and Matthew and Morgan. But you never said how I was wonderful too . I will say I learned a lot from you I took everything and became the parent I would of wanted growing up.

I get to know him and ask about life . I used my love for him as a catalyst to be better . I learned how to parent and read books. I am working daily to learn new ways to provide for my son. He is number one not ye . In my story I will make it . I will not be in my home town we will keep going. We will have everything we ever wanted. I will have my soulmate . Someday . For now it’s me and Ethan and he deserves that . He deserves to be free of people who hurt him. Dad or not Ethan is the best and I am so thankful I have him. Sometimes I wish I had that from you . Between the drugs and you never worrying about me. I am always with Ethan. Keeping him safe and being the best friend he could ever ask for . I know your situation was not easy but neither was mine. I was the child in the scenario and always had to be the adult . There was not copromise . Or anything of the sort . My soul needed a teacher and I was always by myself. You’d get mad I always was with Kelli. She was all I had . Her and Kay because of the way you talked down to me. l didn’t have a good bond with my brothers. Because you made us all separate . You never stood up for us . When we needed our parent .

But all I’ll say is thank you for teaching me what not to do. I might push men away and friends but my bond with Ethan is so good and happy . I am so close with him that everything else doesn’t even matter I hope you learn how to be close to people. I hope we both heal and I can do that again too. Even after all that’s happened I love you mom. And I hope you find your happiness .

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About the Creator

April Liao

Greetings and salutations ,

I am April I’m 31 years old , and I have a wide array of interests .

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