A Letter to The New Year

Dear New Year,

When 2020 came, I thought this was going to be the year for my family and I. We had just got two new cars, well new to us and moved in march. Quarantined hit, no- one is allowed to go to work until we get the go ahead. WHAT!

A virus sweeping the Nation, from china? I was not going to let this fear take me. Amazon, it's just down the road and we can work. They are still opening more money for us, paying way more than where we were working for a furniture factory in southeast Cleveland TN.

A month in, Amazon is calling leaving messages,

“case of covid-19 in the facility.”

Your mind starts to wonder, oh my was I around them, would they even tell us? The phone calls were coming in once, twice a week. You have that feeling, what do I do?

I have children. I do not want them to get sick with this deadly virus. I do not want to get sick.

My husband is a diabetic, if he gets this deadly virus it will not be good.

2020 brought destruction and fear to every household. I could not let the fear over take me.

So I prayed and prayed to keep us safe and to protect from this virus in the name of Jesus.

We had only been driving one car for a while, now my little o’ chevy cobalt had a gas leak.

Oh she was so beautiful and blue, blue as the sky. My favorite color, I had never had a blue car before and my husband Charlie, and I was told when we bought it.

They would fix the gas leak.

The pandemic hit and they would not. I had waited too long, I had no time working at the furniture factory. I have all kinds of time now.

I called up the dealership and told them to come and get it.

If I drive it I would probably blow up.

No one ever showed up after the car

I was not making payments on it, I was just paying on his blazer.

July 5, 2020 Charlie and I are at work and it is 9 a.m in the morning it is time for break.

Which case, we always went out for a smoke.

That morning they would not let anyone out of the facility.

There was a fire, a car was on fire.

The six foot rule had left every single person's mind at that moment.

Standing in the cafeteria, staring out the window huddled up shoulder to shoulder. Trying to determine whose car is on fire.

I am looking. I do not see Charlie's, blazer and I can not wrap my head around how big the flames are on the car.

These flames were huge, and roaring from under the hood. Melting parts off the two cars parked on either side of it.

As I am looking out the window desperately, wanting a cigarette and feeling bad, whoever's car this may be.

At that moment I noticed whose car it was. Charlie came to me and said,

“ THAT IS MY CAR!”

I started to cry, He loved that car so much. we could watch movies going down the road.

Desert storm tires, He had never had a nice car like that.

Plus I had no insurance on the car, I’m so screwed!

The fire department finally put the fire out and they told us we could go to our car.

One of the men said, it was him who said it was probably nothing when they called the first time

Because there was smoke in the cab.

I could not wrap my head around the fact this could have been stopped before it started. REALLY!

The fire department made their own report for coming out on the scene.

The chick who was parked on the left side of the car who barely got any damage called the cops.

Oh this is it, I thought to myself.

The girl parked on the right side got more damage than a younger girl, she was more understanding about the situation.

While the girl in the blue car on the left acted like we had purposely done this to sabotage her.

Why would we do that?

She is worried about insurance dropping her now and her wedding and her honeymoon.

As we are worried about now we are down to no cars.

Walking to work, How am I gonna go to the store to feed my children?

The police officer arrived on the scene and when it was my turn for him to talk to me.

I started crying. I just knew this was it man I am sorry.

He just said you were not driving the car. I can not get you for no insurance. He made his report and that was that.

We were now bumming rides to the store if we could spend more than we should for someone else’s gas.

Even for work and sometimes walking to the closest gas station and to work. Since work was like a two minute drive from our house.

My landlord, whom I have rented from for over five years even from the previous house I lived at. Bought me a car, brought it to the house and handed me the title and told me to trade it in.

It was not a perfect car, brand new, nor was it shiny.

I began to thank the Lord, we were blessed but how I know I have done some wrong.

I asked my ten year old daughter Trinity,

“ Did you pray for a car?”

“Yes, I was worried about you and dad having to walk and ask your friends for rides.” she said,

I began to tell her,

“ Trinity, you know that God heard your prayers, and that he answered them and he blessed us with this car.”

She could not believe it. She was excited.

September 2020, we got laid off. Charlie, and I did not go full time quick enough when they got rid of the temps.

So we were in the group of temps that got laid off.

Oh what a ride that was no unemployment coming in.

Charlie was selling blood, my dad and his dad were helping with all of our bills.

My landlord just lets it add up until tax time.

We lost our living room furniture, it sucked but we could get furniture another time.

Furniture that is much prettier.

My children were doing home school, they were connected to the school doing connect to learning.

My son is twelve years old, and in middle school his school had called and wanted him to come to school.

Panic ran through me, they were not supposed to go back to school until after Christmas.

No money for school clothes, I know my children as soon as they go back they will end up sick the first week.

His school wanted him back because they said he was not doing his work.

I was even more pissed off, I had proof he did not want to hear it.

Notice it at all.

This online learning for the new schools, they were now connected to had never once used computers like the school my children had come from.

The New schools had no idea had to use this new online learning.

I was being harassed while my son was being counted absent.

These thoughts kept running through my head. If I send my son to school, he will get sick.

What would he wear he had nothing. He went from being a skinny boy to a chunky fella.

Trying my hardest to get all of my children in the k12 program it was hard.

I could not believe it was much harder than signing them up for a school nearby.

Having everything they asked for what stopped it was my name is different from my son’s.

No proof for that, no money to go to the courthouse to get that proof.

October 2020, my mother messages me on Facebook and gives me good news.

Whirlpool, where I once worked two other times before.

The first time I was there I did not take it seriously and only lasted four months.

The second time I was there two in a half years and I was a functional leader.

A functional leader is just an absent tee replacement. It sucked, but it meant if I covered a job

In my area the pay was more than mine. I received that pay.

I took pride in my job. It messed my hands up to the point were I now have carpal tunnel,

I did not want to retire from there, I wanted to be different.

A passion for writing, and maybe starting my own business in which case I did.

I wrote two poetry books and self published on Amazon and started cleaning.

The cleaning took off then it fell, that was in 2017 now in 2020 I find myself back.

I can not wrap my head around it. I got what I wanted. I was the boss’s favorite and he put me back on my old line like I asked.

The jobs are much harder, what I expected if I left and was to return.

My hands hurt, ten times more than use too. I used to be able to work through the pain.

Now I can not, I do not feel as strong as I once was.

Money is good so I suffer through it, I do not want to retire from this place. I do not want to give them all my time. I have goals, I have always been a dreamer.

So for this new year of 2021, here are my goals.

1. Spend more time on my passion

Since I came across vocal, I believe this is my chance to write a little more.

Maybe there are others out there like me, who are going through what I have.

It might help them, or they just might relate. I have been writing poetry since it was introduced

To me in high school. I feel in love, if I spoke about my emotions I always got shot down.

Why not write about them.

A passion of mine is to write letting my imagination at times run wild.

2. Spend more time with my children

Since this pandemic hit and everyone has to stay home my children have been stuck in the house. Yes driving us all mad even themselves. I want so badly to take them out like I use to and make memories and let them have fun. We used to go to Pigeon Forge TN. My oldest is not much for leaving the house but when you mention that place she is ready.

“Let’s Go!” She says, I also want to be home more. I feel as a parent I am missing so much.

Work takes all my time and when I come home I am too tired to even eat. Let alone take five seconds to play nail salon or basketball with my son.

3. Buy a new car

Even though my family and I are blessed to have the car that we do. Heck it gets us to where we need to go. While putt-putting along, leaking water and the heat doesn’t want to work all the time. My children have discovered after receiving the car that in the back of this 2005 Ford Free- star they can see the back tire. Talk about a terrified mother, but if they sit on the other side it is like there is too much weight inside the car and when we go to make a turn.

POP! Is the noise you hear, that does not seem right.

2020, Brought fear and destruction and everyone wants the normal back in their lives.

Please 2021, be kinder to us all and not just my family but to every single person in this

World who had dealt with this pandemic.