A letter to my children's mother

To the woman who gave life to our children,

I want to start by saying the children are alright. They are smart, funny, creative, and caring. They have really come a long way. Our oldest joined the military, I was surprised too, but I'm so very proud of him. He is starting to become a responsible young man. Sometimes when kids are teenagers we think they don't care or they're not listening, but they are, they just don't let us know. He has had a difficult time being confident and believing in himself. Sometimes I have to remind him how smart he is. He has had a hard time believing in himself. He has started to stand on his own instead of being told what to do and when to do it. I hope you will be proud of him too.

Our daughter is doing well too. She has really become more in touch with her artistic side. She is so talented. She has a heart of gold and has started to show her confidence. Today she is taking her permit test, I hope she comes home with her permit, she's been studying for a while. She graduated high school this year and she has been beaming with confidence ever since. She is unique and has a beautiful personality.

Our youngest son is doing well too. It has been a long journey for him because he was so young. He's flourished though, he has become a thoughtful young man. He is starting high school this year, don't worry though, he will have an upper hand because his brother will be a senior this year. He has really turned himself around, he loves history and loves to read. I'm proud of him and the turn around he made. When he started his journey his reading level was two grades below the grade he was in. He's getting tall too!

The children are doing well. It has been a long road with them. How do you explain to a child that their mother hasn't contacted them? I don't know how to answer that because when I married their father it was for good and bad. "Ride or Die." I made an effort to be there for the children. I took the time to listen to their concerns. I chose to be there to comfort them when they are sick, listen to them when they have a bad day, and to love them as if they were my own children.

So the children are doing ok. Even though in the last four years we have had to work with them so they knew we weren't going to leave them. We had to show them we loved them, we weren't mean or evil. That the things you said about us were false. We never spoke ill of of you in front of them, especially when they brought you up in the beginning. As time went on they started to see your petty anger, bitterness and stopped asking about you.

I didn't allow my son to have any social media until he hit a certain age, this applied to our kids too. They found a way though, and they read your posts about child support; they saw the documents you posted online about their father. In their eyes they saw how bitter and petty you were and they made their decision on their own. They saw him trying to make up for years that you stole from them. You used the children to get more money from him even when you received child support from him you asked for more. You lied about your income to receive more money. When I first met him a little over ten years ago he was living of an extremely limited income because of the lies you told in court. You took advantage of the court system in you area. Fighting the court decisions seemed like an uphill battle until you fucked up.

I hope you never forget and always regret the day you told your daughter to say things about her father that weren't true. The way you tried coaxing her, trying to convince her to say something that wasn't true hurt her. You seemed to have forgotten how the judge had all conversations recorded for the children's case because you said they were uncomfortable on the phone with their father. So when we heard the recording and what you did, we knew we had to do something. What you didn't tell everyone was that you monitored the children's phone conversations and you would hit them if they didn't stick to "yes or no" answers.

You used false information to receive more money. The funds were and are currently being fraudulently taken out of his paychecks under fraudulent context.

You allowed years to go by without speaking to your children. Not once did you ask if they were ok. After we received temporary custody you disappeared, you moved, changed your address, didn't answer your texts, and you didn't even tell the court. So even if the children wanted to find you they couldn't. Who does that?

So the children are alright, they have done fine without you. They are my kids too. It was your choice to abandon them and it was my choice to love them. That's what I am going to do, forever.