A letter to heaven

     Dear mom,

Wow, it's been quite some time now, hasn't it?
Since we've talked, since I've seen you, since I've heard your calming voice, since I've seen your beautiful face, felt your soft warm touch..
I miss you, so so much.
The way your eyes could light up a dark world, the way your laughter brought joy to people's hearts, and how your smile could brighten even the darkest of days..
It just hasn't been the same since you've been gone, and I don't think it will ever be, again.
I'm not quite sure how to "move on" from your death. Or if I really ever can.
There's so much I didn't get to say to you, so many things we didn't get to do together, it's just not fair.. I never got to say "goodbye" or "see you later", I never got the chance to hug you tight just once more, nor did I get the chance to scream at the top of my lungs how much I loved you, nor did I get to kiss your warm blush cheeks.
One minute you were right beside me, and within a blink of an eye everything changed. You left without a warning, and my heart just won't accept it, it won't move on. I still ache for you, I long for your call. I know I'm selfish, but momma I'd do anything to have you back, but if I were to have just one more chance to see you, I'd be somewhat better I believe, just a day, or even an hour, I'd be okay.
When holidays approach, everything gets worse, because I look over to where you'd be sitting and it's now an empty spot..
I'm jealous of everyone that's mom is still alive, everytime I'm out and about and I see a mom and her daughter together, my heart breaks and I feel weak, I go to my car or my room, even the bathroom and I break down completely, because that used to be me and you.
I love you momma. I know you're safe and sound in the arms of Jesus, I know you're in a beautiful place, and you're happy as can be, dancing in the sky with all of the angels.
I miss you my dear momma, and oh how I love you so.
Kiss all of our loved ones for me if you could, and Jesus, place a kiss gently on my mommas cheek if you will, I love you so much my momma, continue to soar through the sky my beautiful angel.