A Legacy of Love

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My heart smiles and is filled with love and admiration every time I think about my mom. As far back as I can remember as a child, my mom has always been a pillar of strength for me and my siblings. My father was hardly ever around, he was always in and out of the picture so all the responsibility fell on my mother's shoulders to take care of me, and my 2nd oldest sister Erica who is now 44, and has special needs. I have two other older siblings, my eldest brother Steve 55, and elder sister Samantha 53, who already had left home in their early teens, because of our father's abusive and destructive nature. Our father was an alcoholic. My mom comes from a long line of strong, hardworking, country women who have old fashioned Christian values and don't believe in divorce. For a while my mom stuck with my father, for as long as she could until she just couldn't anymore. During the early part of their marriage, my mom went to nursing school to become a Licensed Practical Nurse, during the time when my older brother was a toddler, she was also pregnant with my 1st older sister Angela who eventually passed away from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome a few months after she was born. In spite of the tragic circumstances my mom persevered and made it through and got her degree, because of the love and support of my grandmother Mrs. Leler bell Rodgers. I think my mom in some way must have instinctively known it was going to get worse before it got better, which it did as my father's drinking habits became increasingly heavier. My mom still held out hope for my father even after the fact he wound up giving up on life as a husband and a father. My mom didn't tolerate any of my father's drunken nonsense, he became a different person when he drank. That person was verbally, emotionally, and eventually physically abusive. My father had different levels of drunkenness at times were somewhat tolerable and could be tuned out and other times in your face hard to ignore. When he became violent towards her and then eventually us, that's when enough was enough. My mom stopped investing her love, time, and emotions into someone who refused to get help and do right by his family. My father wasn't a stable part of my life and when he was around was pretty toxic himself. She taught me at an early age, around five or six how to pray away my fears and trust in a higher power whenever I felt scared or alone, I’m 42 and still believe now more so than ever in a higher power. She kept a brave face on and hardly ever complained through all her test and trials in life and clung tightly to her faith. During my younger days in the 1980's-90's as a child I remember more often than not, I had my issues growing up some typical and some not so much. I got picked on a lot at school because I didn't have what everyone else had, expensive name brand clothes or shoes, my mom bought what she could afford and most of my clothes came from the thrift store and Payless shoe store. Kids can be pretty cruel, shallow and insensitive in school. I struggled for a long time with insecurity, and anxiety. My mom helped me Through my emotional issues, encouraging me always, helping me to understand there was nothing wrong with who I was as a person. As a family we received a little extra counseling from our church and support from some our other family members helped get us through that emotional hurtle. Through the years, she stayed strong, focused on what needed to be done and did the very best she could as the sole provider. I watched my mom struggle for years to make ends meet and at one point when I was 13, my mom worked two full time jobs for eight years. I felt helpless a lot of times watching my mom work tirelessly six days a week for 16 hours straight from one job to the next so I pitched in as much I could and helped my mom out around the house and learned how to cook and clean and also with some instruction from my grandma as well. My grandmother came down from North Carolina periodically when she could take time off from her job and helped my mom out as much as possible. My mom is no stranger to work. When she was around 12 her and aunt Ethel worked in the fields every day after school alongside my grandfather who was a share cropper. My mom used to work in peanut, cotton and tobacco fields different days during the week, and would help my grandmother on the farm on weekends where there where mostly pigs, chickens, geese and a cow. My mom was raised with a strong work ethic and family values that transferred over to myself and my siblings. My mom is a warm, loving, caring mother who always made sure no matter how tired she was she made time for us. Eventually when she found one good paying job my mom worked a little less, and started to enjoy life more. We started to take family trips, go to the movies or have a movie night at home with pizza and popcorn and a fun sleepover with my mom, myself, my sister Erica, and my cousin Kia. As an adult my mom inspired me to be a good person, work hard, and live by these simple codes which is common knowledge to most but until you are actually faced with certain difficult situations can only be relevant and relatable in those moments. Hold your head up in the face of adversity, be strong and confident, fear is just a word not a way of life, and like most things in life can be easily conquered, she powered through hers because she forced herself to. Try not to look how you feel, because stress can give you premature wrinkles as she would say a lot jokingly. Never complain too much about your problems, because it's counterproductive instead just solve them the best way you can, "Do your best and God will do the rest". Treat others how you want to be treated, because you never know that one person you showed compassion to could wind up helping you in return later on in life. Don't let your circumstances or what you see around you determine who you are as an individual or affect your personality to the point where you lose your sense of self, bad things happen in life there's nothing we can do except move forward with the understanding that the world may change good or bad but that doesn't mean I have to change with it.

Don't put your trust in words, go by a person's actions, because if it sounds "too good to be true", it usually is. Love yourself and believe you are worth the effort, invest in your happiness and eventually it will pay off. Lastly be honest with yourself and those you care about around you, it’s ok to correct a person in love if they ask you for your opinion, but don't dish it out if you can't take it. These are the words that I live by every day of my life and have helped shape me into the person I am today. I love my mom with my heart and soul, she is my inspiration and she is my best friend and I'm so grateful and blessed to have a mom like her. She has always pushed me to do my very best and live my best life. I wanted to be a nurse like my mom so I went to school to become a certified medical assistant. I realized for a long time ever since I was young, I've always enjoyed helping people, like my mom. My dreams were dashed pretty quickly even though I loved taking the classes and passed with flying colors my eyesight was not where it should be so once I was diagnosed with a pigmentation in my retina which was affecting my vision, I held off pursuing a career in the medical field and instead worked in management in retail for 21 years until I couldn't anymore, I may be legally blind in one eye but I don't let it stop me from living my best life. I am a proud wife and step mother to a wonderful son and I am so thankful for my mom Every time I pray, I thank God for the amazing woman I'm proud to call my mom and for my grandmother and for the way they both paved the way for me to be a great mom and a strong woman. This is my tribute to wonderful women with a beautiful heart, here's to you mom, thanks for hanging in there and never giving up on me, I love you always and forever. ♥️

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