A good ending to a bad beginning.

Hello Everyone,

My name is Bekki. I would like to talk to you about adoption and how it has affected me. I'm hoping it will give people hope and encouragement to be able to talk about difficult subjects that have happened to them in their lives. So, we start in a world of uncertainty, mixed race parents who were, let's say less than enthusiastic about keeping a child, and the life that mixed race was back in the 70's.

Before I was adopted, I lived with my birth Mother and sometimes my birth Father. Their relationship wasn't perfect and they would often split up and get back together. My BM (birth Mother) would leave me in places that were not recommended for a child and were quite dangerous. Eventually, one time she didn't come back, which caused the Social Services to find me and take me to be fostered with a lady called Mrs Barker. Obviously, being a baby I don't remember her, but I am ever grateful to her and the service she provided for me.

Growing up, I found my life making friend's very difficult. I was very lonely and wished I could be popular like other people. School, for me, was a horrid affair and I longed deeply for the day I could leave and break free. I was challenged by authority and hated being told what to do. I have since as an adult been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism, depression and anxiety. I have been challenged very much by these conditions and have had to seek help as an adult many times. As a child the emotions you recieve from finding out your birth family didn't want you was really hard to deal with. I would regularly act out because I didn't know how to deal with them. As a teenager, going through puberty was VERY hard!!

As I grew up I found jobs to take me away from where lived, I liked the freedom and the discovery of new places. I became a nanny, and moved out to work all over the country. It was great!! I had learnt to drive and the freedom from driving felt amazing! I totally enjoyed my life as a nanny but then met my then partner and moved to his family home. We had a child and after a few years, fell in love with the next door neighbor and we split. That was a difficult time for me. I powered through and sort help, and made friend's at the school with people that are lasting friends. I don't have many, but the one's I have are good ones.

Eventually, I started trying to help myself. I learned about self-development and implemented it in my life. I have learnt so much over the years, and looking back I can say I'm actually glad my life happened this way. I am stronger, Independant, I am making my own way. If you're wondering, I've been single for 13 years. I think it is the best thing I ever did getting rid of him.

Yours Sincerely

Bekki