A Brand New Life

This is the true story of the birth of my third daughter and the one who my heart hurts for the most. Writing helps put my mind at ease and that is the purpose of my writing. Names (everyone but the baby) have been changed to protect everyone involved.

As she sat in the passenger seat of her own vehicle waiting on the man she fell in love with, she felt the water trickle down her legs. She knew deep down that he did not care about her or the baby of his that she carried, but she stayed anyway, hoping that one day he would eventually fall in love with her, the way that she loved him with everything that she had.

Her eyes widened in surprise with a gasp as she turned to face the boy, they had picked up a few hours earlier that day. “Can you go tell Stephen that my water just broke?”

“Are you serious?” Dan asked in a panic.

“Yes,” she nodded frantically as she searched for something to soak up the wetness on her seat.

A few moments later, Stephen came back out of the house. “Are you okay?” he asked as he got into the driver's seat.

“Yes,” she answered but did not get to continue.

“Baby, this is 400 dollars, can it wait?” he interrupted her.

“It’s fine.” she agreed in disappointment before he climbed out of the car and went back into the unfamiliar house.

For the next hour, she fought through the few contractions she had while she waited for Stephen to come back out. When he did, he didn’t say anything as he started the car and drove away.

A few minutes down the road, he said, “We got to meet this dude over here to get the stuff. It should only take a few minutes.”

They drove to a gas station to drop dan off with a promise that they would return to pick him back up. She knew that Stephen never had any intention of returning but did not say anything as she ushered Dan out of the car.

For the next few hours, Stephen and Carol drove around as her contractions came more often and grew in intensity. About three hours after her water breaking, she was writhing and screaming in pain when she turned to Stephen.

“I need to go to the hospital.” she screamed at him.

“Why? I thought...”

“Something isn’t right.” She interrupted him.

It took twenty more minutes of arguing and screaming before he finally drove her to the hospital. A few months prior to this, she had gone to the hospital and tested positive for drugs, and her daughter had been removed from their care and placed with her mother. Carol had been doing everything she could to get her mental health in order to get her daughter back, but for some reason, the system seemed to be against her. She was not on drugs; she was on medications that caused a false positive. She had done everything that CPS had told her to do, including wearing a sweat patch to prove her sobriety, visitation twice a week at a center and a few other times with her mother present. She had gone to her court dates and made CPS aware of everything going on in her life.

Carol and Stephen had planned to have the baby at home and not in the hospital to delay CPS removing her from their care. She understood his confusion when she broke down and screamed to take her to the hospital. She was terrified but she felt as if she did not have a choice.

He dropped her off at the emergency doors before going to park the car. Carol waddled in, crying and screaming as another contraction hit her. She did not even speak as she went up to the security desk and nurses rushed over.

They asked for her information as they got her in a wheelchair and started the trek to labor and delivery. As a nurse worked on getting her hooked up to the machines, she held up a cup and asked is she could give a sample.

“I don’t know if I can” Carol replied through gritted teeth in between breaths.

After a few more minutes, she was finally settled in bed when Carol picked up her phone to call her mother. “she’s coming. I’m in the hospital now.”

“I’m on my way.” her mother said before hanging up.

After another few minutes, her mom called her back saying I’m here and asking where to go. Carol made the nurses aware, and one told her that she would go get her from the waiting room. A few minutes later, Stephen walked in just as Carol informed the nurse that she was feeling that urge to push.

The nurse got Carol into the birthing position and told Carol to push as hard as she can. Carol held on tight, squeezed as hard as she could, and gave the hardest push she could muster. That push was enough to squeeze out her new baby girl. The nurses quickly cut her umbilical cord and placed her on Carol’s chest. Carol’s eyes filled with tears as she looked at the little miracle in her arms. Becca peed and pooped on Carol as they placed the baby on her chest. The nurses worked quickly to get Carol and the baby cleaned up while Carol was in her own world. Everything around her disappeared except for Stephen, who was now standing next to Carol, and her beautiful new baby.

Carol held her new baby as long as she could before it was time to feed her. She gave Stephen his daughter to let him give her the first feeding, as the doctors informed Carol that she could not breastfeed, because of the medications that she was taking.

The nurses did an exam on Carol’s stomach and as they pushed on the lower abdomen, blood poured out in between her legs. Every thirty minutes or so, the nurses did this and watched almost half a unit of blood come rushing out. After a few hours of doing this every thirty minutes or so, they brought in a special nurse to give Carol a pelvic exam.

After the exam, she informed Carol that the reason for all of the blood loss is because the placenta rupturing and some of it staying behind. Her body was trying to get rid of it which was the reason all of the blood came rushing out when that area was being pushed on. Carol watched her life flash before her eyes as the nurse told her that she was going to have to have surgery to get the rest of the placenta removed.

After a few more hours, several signatures, and several talks with nurses and doctors, Carol was finally wheeled away for her surgery. It seemed like it took the doctor an eternity to get the needle in the correct place in her back before everything below her waist was finally numb. Carol felt tired as they got her into the correct position for the procedure. A few hours later, Carol opened her eyes as they were finishing up. She had fallen asleep and slept through the whole procedure.

“I’m surprised you went to sleep for that.” The doctor said.

“I was tired,” Carol said, groggily.

“We are almost finished, then we will wheel you into recovery for two hours until you get feeling back in your legs.” The doctor told her.

A few minutes later, she was on her way to recovery with no feeling in her legs. When she got settled into the bed in recovery, the doctor asked her to wiggle her toes before nodding with a smile, “good.”

“My toes moved?” Carol asked in confusion, not feeling the movement at all.

“Yes,” the doctor said with a smile before turning to walk away.

Carol decided to just go back to sleep, because she still felt woozy from the blood loss. After about another hour and a half, Carol woke up to her legs and feet feeling tingly. She told the nurse.

“That is good news and completely normal.” The nurse said with a smile.

A few hours later, Carol was back in her room where only her mom sat with the new baby that she longed to see again. Her mother helped her pick up the baby and hold her. Carol smiled down at her new addition and just let the tears fall from her eyes, knowing that CPS would be there eventually to take this beautiful baby away from her.

Another few hours later, a nurse came in to inform her that the baby was going to be taken to the nursery, where Carol must be to be around the baby.

Carol felt her world crash down around her. She felt alone, as no one was there with her, and as if everything was being taken away from her. She quickly called her mother and told her the news. Her mom said she was going to be there soon.

Carol called Stephen to tell him the news, but of course, he did not answer his phone.

About thirty minutes later, Carol and her mother sat in the hospital room when the nurse walked into take the baby to the nursery. Carol cried as she handed the baby to the nurse and leaned back in her bed.

“Remember that this is just temporary.” Carol’s mom said. “She will be with me and you can still come see them any time you want to.”

“I know, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” Carol said without looking at her mother.

A few days later, Carol and her baby were released at the same time, with the baby going home with her mother and Carol waiting for Stephen to come pick her up.