9 Parenting Errors You Don't Want to Repeat

Throughout the ages, there have been many ways to parent children.

Different types of parents come in cycles in our society and other types of parenting are sometimes passed down from generation to generation.

There are many examples of “bad parenting”, but today I’m going to focus on 9 and how these parenting “errors” can cause lifelong, long-term problems in children.

You might think that this is a dry, scholarly article about bad parenting styles, but as a teacher and librarian, I’ve seen firsthand the effects these “parenting styles” have had on children under my care.

From parent conferences where I’ve seen first-hand sibling pitted against sibling, belittling, or demanding excessive academic achievement, I’ve then seen the effects that have shown up in the children on a day-to-day basis.

Even in the library, I’ve seen parents interact with their children and noticed many of these moments. Many parents don’t realize the effect they have on their children’s development, both emotionally and mentally.

1- Emotional Abuse:

• Belittling
• Name-calling
• Excessive criticism
• Withdrawing affection as punishment
• Shaming or humiliating the child

All of these have long-term effects on a child’s self-worth, confidence and the ability to form healthy relationships. It can also lead to emotional detachment, low self-esteem and social withdrawal. It also leads to chronic self-doubt.

2- Neglect:

• Leaving children unsupervised for extended periods of time
• Failing to provide emotional support or nurturing for a child.

The long-term effects of neglect affect 74% of its victims. It can lead to poor academic performance, behavioral problems, delay a child’s social, emotional and mental development.

3- Physical Abuse:

• Harsh physical punishment
• Physical abuse
• Rough handline
• Exposure of children to domestic violence

The long-term effects of this type of parenting errors lead to emotional and psychological issues. Low self-esteem, anxiety, depressions, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and behavioral issues. About 42% of children who died suffered from physical abuse.

4- Unrealistic Expectations:

• Pressuring to achieve excessively
• Comparing children to other
• Favoring one child over another
• Forcing children to grow up too quickly
• Forcing children to take on adult responsibilities

All of these tend to lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, resentment, stress and a fear of failure. It can also delay emotional development.

5- Inconsistent Discipline:

• Erratic enforcement of rules
• No standard or consistent consequences
• Lack of boundaries
• Harsh or rigid discipling without explanation

Many of these “parenting styles” lead to confusion and behavioral problems. Inconsistent discipline is associated with early behavior problems and a lack of understanding boundaries. They also cause fear and resentment.

6- Negative Role Modeling:

• Substance abuse
• Addition in the presence of children
• Poor coping mechanisms
• Displaying aggressive behavior
• Exposing children to inappropriate content
• Exposing children to inappropriate activities

While some parents may think these aren’t too bad, modeling substance abuse usually leads to their own substance abuse issues and behavioral issues. These “parenting styles” also lead to the children themselves developing similar negative behavior and emotional and psychological problems.

7- Lack of Engagement:

• Not spending quality time with children
• Failing to support a child’s interest of individuality
• Lack of open communication
• Lack of emotional connection

These lead to long-term problems such as delaying a child’s emotional and social development. They lead to a child having low self-esteem and a lack of motivation as well as emotional detachment and difficulties in forming relationships.

8- Overprotection:

• Helicopter parenting or excessive control
• Preventing children from taking age-appropriate risks
• Preventing children from making age-appropriate decisions
• Invading a child’s private
• Lack of respect for boundaries

While some of these seem like good parenting, they all tend to lead to long-term negative effects. Overprotectiveness delays a child’s ability to develop decision-making skills and independence. It has also been shown to lead to higher levels of anxiety and depression. Low self-esteem, emotional detachment and a lack of trust have also been found to be long-term effects.

9- Favoritism and Inequality:

• Favoring one child over another
• Unequal treatment of siblings
• Creating sibling rivalry
• Pitting one child against the other

Any of these parenting practices leads to resentment and emotional instability. The resentment is toward the parent and the sibling. Other long-term effects are low self-esteem and long-term relationship issues.

No parent is perfect. But by knowing these examples of “bad parenting styles,” you are one step closer to knowing better ways to parent. With these examples, you will be able to understand the long-term effects of this negative behavior and if you need to, get help in breaking the habits of ingrained bad parenting styles.

Sources:

1. American Psychological Association (APA) – Top Parenting Resources from Psychologists

2. National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) – Parents’ Professional Sources of Advice Regarding Child Discipline

3. International Journal of Indian Psychology (IJIP) – Effect of Bad Parenting on Juvenile Delinquency: A Reflection

4. NCBI – The Effect of Parenting and the Parent-Child Relationship on a Child’s Cognitive Development

5. NSPCC Learning – Statistics on Child Abuse

6. American Psychological Association (APA) – Helicopter Parenting May Negatively Affect Children’s Emotional Well-Being UAB News – What you need to know to prevent, spot signs of and report child abuse