6 Co-parenting Tips for Couples Going Through Divorce
Separation or divorce is one of the most difficult paths of life. Working with one of your parent to raise health, loving and stable children is another difficult tasks.
Separation or divorce is one of the most difficult paths of life. Working with one of your parents to raise healthy, loving and stable children despite their separation is another difficult task. But it is possible, testify too many happy adult children of divorced parents.
To get you started, here are ten positive co-parenting tips. This will help you understand how parents are involved in providing a balanced and happy upbringing to your children. Even though you no longer all live under one roof, by using these successful co-parenting strategies, you can get everyone working as a team.
1: Your children's needs come first
Whatever problems you have with your father, always put your children's well-being first.
Divorced parents often say that this is the hardest concept to remember, especially if the divorce is messy. But prioritizing your children's sense of security and stability is the key to a "successful" divorce. So do whatever it takes to put them first, even if it means working with a family therapist to bring you and your co-parents back to the conversation about what's best for the kids when you have past marital issues. Let the discussion heat up.
2: Make communication a priority for effective parenting
One of the simplest rules of co-parenting is to find an effective communication strategy that works for your family. This means being realistic about your strengths and limitations.
If it's not possible to have a face-to-face discussion with one of your parents at this time (one or both of you are too angry or annoyed in person to speak appropriately), agree to "direct." Speaking is currently not appropriate for you. You may need to use other, less emotional means to share information about children, for example through online parent-to-parent communication tools.
3: Stay on the Same Page for the Big Things
The best-case scenario in co-parenting is that the behavior and discipline of both parents should be consistent with the rules of bedtime, play time, personal hygiene and homework. But the truth is, if you had a different parenting style before the breakup, you're unlikely to magically recover now.
Try not to get into big discussions with the parents about every decision. As long as you can reasonably trust that you are both committed to raising your children in a healthy and supportive environment, you should not attempt to manage each other's day-to-day parenting decisions should do.
4: Stick to Your Parenting Schedule
Once you've set your parenting schedule, don't mess with it. Treating the schedule as a set will help you organize your time, and help the kids feel safe.
Parents who adjust their parenting schedule too often or end parenting time are harming their children, even though they feel they are teaching them to be resilient.
Children need to feel that they can count on being with their parents regularly, like every other weekend for example, and should not change at the last minute because one of their parents one has to go out of town suddenly.
5: Try to stay positive
Highlight your father's good points in the presence of his children. "Your mom is great at coaching your soccer team, isn't she?" or "Your dad takes these cute pictures, guys!" There are easy ways to show your kids that even though you're separated, you can still see the valuable things your father brings to the family. This makes kids feel safe, and they feel that they can even openly talk about a parent who wasn't present and doesn't hurt your feelings.
6: Be smart about new partners
As you and your other parents forge new relationships, agree on the roles the new partner can play with your children.
Many family professionals advise that until new partners find a safe place in the family structure, they should not be involved in any mutual parenting decisions, nor should they engage with former partners in matters relating to children should communicate with.
Over time, you and your other parents will want to agree on how the new partner can best contribute to decisions affecting the child, while always putting your children's well-being first.