5 Things to do When Your Partner is Getting on Your Last Nerve

As I write this I am suffering herendously with my chronic pain and my loving, but sometimes really irritating boyfriend is snoring like a blender next to me in bed. I adore him. But my god does he drive me mad sometimes.

We live alone and don't get many visitors, so we have our normal duvet and a spare. I have been getting too hot with the normal one so we have been using both, one for me and one for him. Today he really helpfully washed both covers, but its cold here and we don't have a dryer so they aren't dry to go to bed with. A loving act, but not what you need when you can't move.

He really lovingly started stroking my arm earlier, right where I had just had an injection. I told him this and then he forgot every ten to fifteen minutes and did the same thing repeatedly. Affectionate but also not great when my whole body feels swollen and bruised.

So, if like me, you love your other halves but sometimes have to stop yourself from murdering them. Here are five things you can do about it.

1. Have a rant to a friend.

If you are lucky enough to have a friend you can share anything with. Explain that you just need to let it all out. Most of the time the things bothering us are only tiny, your friend (if they're honest) might tell you that the issue is more down to your mood than what is going on.

I am horrible when I am hungry, and I remember my other half picking takeaway up on the way home from work, he got home to realise he had ordered me a child's meal because he couldn't hear properly in the restaurant. Was it life ending? It felt like it when I was starving. Did my best friend think it was hilarious? Yes she did.

Sometimes we need an outside perspective.

2. Leave the room.

I have to do this a lot. Chronic pain makes me irritable, irritable me is not good company. He does lots of amazing things but if he says something and his tone comes across wrong, or he is busy and he snaps, I have to go somewhere else until I get my cool again. If something is an issue, you can readdress it later. Getting into an argument isn't good for anyone.

Although I say leave the room, we both have abandonment issue. So our deal is that we take ourself off to regroup but we don't walk out of the house or leave in the middle of any kind of argument. We need to know the other person isn't leaving.

3. Agree to disagree.

This is so important. My partner and I love a debate and I get very passionate about anything concerning women's rights, abuse, rape, homophobia, racism (I really could go on). I can preach for England. Sometimes we agree things could be handled differently but we disagree on how or what is needed to help a situation.

We have to agree to disagree.

4. Ten reasons why I love you.

Instead of letting things irritate me, I start thinking of all of the amazing things he does do instead. He puts up with me and my chronic pain, and I can tell you how hard that must be. He picks up the slack around the house or with anything else when I can't. He humours me, we talk about hypotheticals all of the time and he doesn't judge me for it. He is my safe haven, I can say anything to him.

I could go on...

If you are with someone then the chances are, you love them. Focus on that.

5. Sex.

Angry sex is good. If he is annoying the shit out of you, you likely either need food, sleep, sex or alone time. If you have tried the others then some intimacy and skin-on-skin contact helps a lot.