35 Things they don't tell you about childbirth.

As a mum-to-be, you've most likely heard the generic comments thrown around by family members and other mums. "Just you wait, Your life will never be the same again." And "Make the most of sleep because you won't get any when the babies here!" Unfortunately, people don't seem to be as quick to tell you useful information, things they wish they were told before they reached labour day.

I decided to gather together all the things that myself and others would have preferred to know beforehand, in the hope that it will better prepare other women.

1. Birth (probably not) plan.

Birth plans are good to have and exciting to make but you shouldn't get disheartened if things don't go accordingly. Personally, I planned to have a water birth but when it came to it I wasn't shown to the birthing pool. To be completely honest, at that point I didn't care where I was, I just wanted baby out of me!

2.Mucus plug

One of the first signs of labour can be a 'show.' A show is the layer of mucus that seals the cervix exits the vagina as a discharge. The discharge is often clear but can be tinged pink or brown which is called a 'bloody show.'

3.Your waters probably won't break like they do in films!

They might gush, trickle, break more than once or possibly not at all. If your waters don't break the doctor may break them for you. Once they have broken they will continue to slowly release until you have given birth and you shouldn't have sex for risk of infection. If your baby is born more than 24 hours after your waters break you and baby will require further monitoring after birth (I had to stay in the hospital for 13hours after.)

4.You've got time after your waters break!

Don't panic if your waters do break, this isn't a warning to say "QUICK, YOUR BABY WILL BE HERE IN 5 MINUTES!!" You should have been given an emergency midwife number to call when you're in labour. You can tell the midwives everything as it's happening and they will advise you on what to do next. Remember there is a risk of infection if you give birth 24 hours after your waters have broken so be sure to tell them once they have or you think they have.

5.It can be hard to tell what stage of labour you're in.

Labour can come on quickly or it can last days. The first stage of labour is called the latent phase and then you progress to active labour. The latent phase can last days but as soon as you're in active labour it should be no more than a day before you have baby in your arms.

6.Your contractions leading up to the pushing are likely to be the worst part.

At first, you get excited because they start off rather mild... "Wow, I can actually do this..." Then they get horrendous and you just hope that they have reached their peak of pain. As soon as your 'push contractions' start, it's like a switch flicks in your brain. Your body knows what to do and somehow you just know that now is the time to push. These contractions normally don't hurt but it's getting your head around the pushing that becomes the next challenge.

7.You might push for a long time.

The NHS states that with your first child pushing should last no longer than three hours. That's a long time, my pushing stage of labour lasted 1 hour and that was enough! You'll probably make a lot of noises and possibly some strange ones!

8.Kiss goodbye to privacy.

You might want to take your clothes off when you're in active labour. You can be free of clothes entirely or they will give you a gown. You'll probably hit a record number of people seeing you naked in one day, as a lot of people will be looking between your legs. If it's bothering you just try to remember they have seen it all before and only do so for the safety of you and baby.

9.It might not be a doctor who delivers baby.

It is more likely to be a midwife delivering baby and a doctor will call in to check everything is okay.

10.They might have to cut you.

The midwife or doctor may perform an episiotomy which is also known as a perineotomy. An episiotomy is a surgical incision between the vagina and anus which makes the vagina a bit wider. This procedure is done for baby to pass through easier, in my case, it was performed because baby's heart rate dropped slightly in the pushing stage.

11. Your baby's heart rate may drop.

Your baby's heart rate may drop during labour. As scary as it is to hear, it doesn't always mean there is something wrong.

12. You'll probably poo.

It's strange learning to push, you imagine your self trying to push just out of your vagina, yet your midwife is telling you to push out of your bum! Let's be honest after possibly hours of pushing down "out of your bum" likelihood is you're going to poo. Half of the time women don't even notice and the other half are too exhausted to care! Don't worry! The midwives see this every day, as soon as you "go" they will discreetly dispose of it. They don't pick it up and wave it at you partner and others shouting "look she pooped!"

13.You'll be extremely tired

Giving birth is hard. You're going to be exhausted and that's why it's important to try and eat something when you first start latent phase of labour. It is also important to keep your fluids up. Trust me when I say that the cup of tea and slice of toast after is like heaven on earth!

14.You'll feel like you can't do it.

Childbirth is most probably the hardest thing you've ever had to do and this may be overwhelming. You might feel as though you can't carry on and you're not able to do it but you already are doing it!

15.Drugs wear off!

You might choose to not have any drugs or you might choose to have as much as you can get but remember, drugs wear off so don't be shocked if your pain suddenly gets worse again.

16.They might need to use equipment.

Usually, when giving birth now, you have to wear a belt which monitors baby's heart rate. It is also possible that equipment, such as forceps or vacuums, will be used to help get baby out.

17.A C-section is not a failure.

If you need to have a C-section it doesn't mean you have done anything wrong. C-sections are life-saving procedures performed to ensure the safety of both you and baby which is the most important thing. Having a C-section will require an epidural and it can take some time before you get feeling back in your legs! A catheter will also be inserted and may stick around for a bit longer than you'd expected.

18.Things might go wrong

Now I don't mean to scare you and you should remain positive, but there seems to be a stigma around talking about anything bad. I think things like miscarriages and birth complications should be discussed as they are more common than you'd think. This is why you must listen to your healthcare providers. They know what they are doing and yours and baby's safety are of the utmost importance to them.

19.You'll probably throw up.

You might feel a bit strange after you've given birth, mainly due to shock. I felt strange and worried that there was something wrong. After throwing up all over myself, whilst laying down, I felt so much better. Baby must have been in shock too, as she added to the pile of sick!

20.It's not all over once the baby arrives.

Once the baby arrives it will be the only thing you care about but it's not over just yet. You still need to pass the placenta and you will need to be stitched up if you have had an episiotomy. You won't feel being stitched up because you will have a general anaesthetic injection and I actually found this process quite comical. It's like when you're watching a film and you see a surgeon performing from the angle of the patient.

21.You might not feel a bond right away.

Some women take a little time to connect with their baby after birth. It's completely normal to get baby blues but if you feel particularly overwhelmed or it last a long time you must seek help. It is more common than you think to suffer from postnatal depression, it is not your fault but it is something that needs addressing.

22.You might get a finger up the bum.

Don't be alarmed if you get a finger up the bum a few times. They do it as a check to make sure they haven't sewn you up and also to administer ibuprofen. Don't worry though, they tell you before they do it!

23.Expect to be milked!

If you're breastfeeding your midwife might 'help you out' with the first feed. This is less of an oral instruction and more of a physical demonstration, as they squeeze your nipple to produce the colostrum.

24.Breastfeeding might be hard at first.

Breastfeeding is incredibly natural and has endless benefits however that doesn't necessarily mean it will come naturally for you or baby. There is support you can seek if you are struggling to breastfeed or you always have the option of formula. Whether you decide to breast or formula feed the most important thing is that your baby is fed.

25.You're going to bleed a lot.

You're going to bleed a considerable amount for 4-6 weeks after birth. You're likely to pass large clots but if you're concerned for any reason always seek help.

26.Adult nappies are the way to go!

Trust me, get yourself a few packs of adult nappies as well as maternity pads. I found that wearing a non-stick maternity pad inside a nappy was the best way to go. They are comfy and provide a layer of cushion that's handy when you have stitches. This way you don't have to keep taking your trousers off to replace the nappy but it's there just in case you have any leakage. Once the bleeding eased off I ditched the maternity pads and kept the nappies for a while, this was more for comfort as it was still quite sore down below.

27.Going for a wee... OUCH

It burns! A lot! Luckily I discovered a trick to make it a hell of a lot less painful. Whilst sat on the toilet, feet firmly on the ground, I tilted forward and placed both hands on the floor. I made sure I had a jug of water close just in case it didn't work but it always did. Leaning forward meant that the wee didn't go backwards but forwards, preventing it from touching the sore bits.

28.Going for a poo... Good luck!

It's incredibly scary going for your first bowel movement. After pushing out a baby you never want to push again but it normally isn't as bad as you'd think. I was incredibly sore from the episiotomy so pushing hurt. I found that getting a large amount of toilet roll and holding my vagina whilst going helped keep everything in place. Pouring a jug of water down at the same time helped.

29.Sex is awkward

There is only one truly helpful word for this...LUBE. Sex will probably be quite painful at first. For me, it was extremely painful. The most important thing about sex after childbirth is that you wait until you're ready. Remember its ok to ask your partner to stop. After all, you're the one that just pushed the equivalent of a watermelon out of your body so obviously, you're going to be sore for a while.

30.Postnatal vaginal issues

Incontinence is a potential issue post-birth but there are some exercises you can do to help. It's also common to experience vaginal dryness especially if you are breastfeeding and it's probable that your vagina will look different.

31.Hello boobs!

After your milk comes in your breasts will become larger and if left too long will become hard and sore. They become 'engorged' and you will need to express milk to relieve them.

32.The bump will stay

Your bump doesn't just disappear into thin air and you may still look pregnant for a little while!

33.No more gushing

When you're pregnant everyone gushes over you, until after the birth, when people become more baby focused. So don't be too disheartened when it's all "how's baby?" and never "how's mummy?"

34.It ok to want some quality time

It's not selfish to not want visitors for the first few days or even weeks following birth. Yes everyone is excited to see the new baby but so are you and their YOUR baby. You went through all the hard work to get baby here so the least people can do is let you enjoy it. Not to mention how rough you feel, the last thing we want is people coming to look, like we're an enclosure at a zoo. Babies grow so quickly so make the most of that time. They are only that small once.

35.You're amazing

Most importantly, and what you might not get told, is that you have done an amazing job. You are amazing. You've endured so much to bring this tiny precious life into the world and it's now your job to love and protect them even when it's difficult. You probably don't realise how incredible you are or how much your baby loves and depends on you.

So yes your life is about to change and no you probably won't get much sleep but having a baby is so much more than that... And you... Beautiful... Amazing Mama... You're about to find out...