32 Weeks

Finding out you’re pregnant is supposed to be a joyful event. But finding out your pregnant and have 2 months to meet your baby… that’s terrifying. Having nothing prepared and living paycheck to paycheck. And when you do finally get a good job, they deny your maternity leave. This is my story of rushing to get everything ready and raising my baby in the middle of a pandemic.

I got pregnant in November, but had no idea until late June. I had almost no pregnancy symptoms. No swelling in the ankles, no morning sickness, no headaches, no heartburn, no nausea. NOTHING! Only one week back in January I was sick for like a week, where I would wake up and just dry heave for a minute, but then be fine. At the time I wasn’t eating very much so I just thought it was due to my lack of food. And after that week I got sick for 2 days with a really bad headache and nausea.

Fast forward to February and I’m planning my sisters baby shower, who at the time was only 4 months ahead of me in her journey. Went to the store getting all the goodies to make a cute little shower for my family and her friends. Little did we know, we should have just thrown it for the both of us! When you look at the pictures my sister is huge and I just look a little chubby, genuinely thinking I just gained some weight from finally eating good. People were even asking me before if I was pregnant, but the test I took THE DAY BEFORE came back negative.

Figured it out/ Doctors

Now jumping to June. I had applied at this job about 3 months prior but they finally got back to me and I started working on June first, still not knowing I was pregnant. In the middle of training, I was feeling my stomach moving and I could tell something was inside of me [by the way still wasn’t showing much]. I went to the doctor about a week later. And since there is a pandemic happening I couldn’t bring anyone to ANY of my appointments. Not at all nerve racking right.

Well I got there, sat alone waiting to be called. Called my partner immediately when I got back there. We did the ultra sound and she did all the measurements to estimate how far along I was. “So your about 32 weeks. Your due date is August 17th. CONGRATULATIONS!” I was in disbelief. 32 weeks and didn’t even know or feel anything until the last few weeks. And of course they considered me an at risk pregnancy because I had no prenatal care up to this point.

I immediately called my sister crying not knowing what to do and scared. She reassured me everything will be ok, telling me how scared she was during her first pregnancy. And reassuring me I'll be a good mom and my family will be there to help me. It helped a lot but I couldn’t help but still be nervous about Covid. On my way upstairs to do my bloodwork I called my other sister, they both needed to know the baby and I were both ok, and she agreed with how nervous I should be. Telling me how there was a mandatory mask law where she is. But where I was, they still weren't forcing them in stores.

Needless to say, I was scared of not only having a baby at 20 but, IN 2020. We are in the middle of a pandemic and people weren’t taking it seriously. They still don’t where their masks correctly and some people don’t where one at all. And we are having protest every other day for something different. I want my baby to know peace and love, happiness and safety, not violence and hate. How could I bring a baby into this fucked up world?

Telling the parents

So now knowing my baby is healthy I was ready to tell my parents and other people. But my partner was too excited. He ran to his mom after my test was positive to tell her we were having a baby. She was happy as it's her first grandchild. his family was super excited as she is the first granddaughter.

Telling my mom was easy because she guessed when I told I had to talk in person. My dad was a whole other story. On Father's Day, that’s when we told him. My niece was already born and my sister had a shoe box we were using. We wrote “congrats on your 4th grand baby!” he turned to my sister and said, “Another one?!” She laughed and said not me. Then he turned to me with wide eyes and looked at me... then my partner, “I'm gonna kill you.” He got up from the table and was trying to grab him, I've never seen either of them move as fast. My partner got up and my dad reached over the table trying to grab him. But then, my dad started laughing. Not a I'm crazy and going to kill you way, but like a shit what has my daughter gotten into.

Gender?

So not only did we have a late start to finding out about her but it took until 28 days before she was born that she was a she. At my first appointment she tried to see the gender but she said the baby was in a bad position. 4 days later I had an ultra sound to make sure she was ok… and was supposed to find out the gender, but the technician said the baby was in a bad position. I made an appointment at a 4d ultrasound place to try and get it there. My mom offered to pay for it and of course I couldn’t refuse. And the best part was I got to have people with me. My partner got to come and see his baby in real time in person other than on a duo call, and I got to have some of my family there. Well come to find out because I’m so far along and she was so packed in my belly that they couldn’t see her very well. Good enough to see her limbs but not the important bit. And I had a lot of frontal lining, which kept her safe but made it hard for the machines to see her. So after 30 minutes of me moving and trying to get her to move too the technician looked at us with a huge smile, even under her mask I could tell she was smiling. She said, “We finally found it.” My mom and aunt wanted it to be a surprise to us so we didn’t get to know right away. She asked “If you had to guess what it was, what would you guess?” My partner, “Well it looks like my nana but I’m still hopeful for a boy.” Me, “I can’t really tell with young babies.”

Then that Monday we had our gender reveal. He was a little sad about having a girl but once we were watching my sisters kids he realized, boys are a handful!!

Labor

Then came the day of us preparing the room at my dads place. We decided that was the best place for us to move into. We picked out the colors for the room and started painting, yes I helped. I wore a mask and we had all the windows open to air out the room so I wouldn’t breathe to much of the fumes. I also took regular breaks to breathe fresh air so don’t worry. But I did mess up with painting the trim and squatting too much… because about 3 hours after we finished I was resting and all of the sudden I started having these little contractions. Not even strong enough to call a cramp but it was there. And it only got stronger as the night went on. I went to get my partner from work, and those contractions were almost unbearable.

11 pm- They were happening every 20 minutes or so. My partner thought maybe I was hungry but once he brought the food to me he cooked, the smell just made me really nauseated. I ran to bathroom but nothing happened.

12 am- Tried to fall sleep but kept having the pains. Granted they did feel better when I was resting, not by much but it did help.

1 am- ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to poop or throw up… my mucus plug had come out. By 1:45 we were at the hospital and I was alone in a room…

Follow up with the 3 hardest days to know what happens at a hospital in the labor unit during a pandemic