3 Lessons I Learned About Parenting After Watching 'Beautiful Boy'

Beautiful Boy was released this past year and it is simultaneously difficult and crucial for parents to watch.

If you haven’t seen it, let me sum it up before we start. The movie centers around the relationship of father, David, and son, Nic, played by Steve Carrell and Timothee Chalamet, respectively. The story takes a look at the family dynamic as Nic tries to recover yet again from his methamphetamine addiction.

That brief synopsis alone makes Beautiful Boy sound like a hard movie to watch and, to be honest, it isn't a casual, Sunday morning movie. After all, watching someone watch their child struggle can hit a little close to home. I would argue that this reality is one of the biggest reasons parents can learn from this movie - it offers some valuable lessons up throughout its run time. Here, I’d like to share some of those lessons with you.

1. The relationships we have with our kids will change.

One of the hardest lessons I found to watch throughout this movie is the reality that the relationships we have with our children will drastically change as they grow.

Throughout the movie, there are points at which David flashes back to interactions between him and Nic when Nic was younger. He considers how the relationship has changed and it isn’t just because of the meth addiction running rampant in his life. Nic has also gotten older, been through a lot, and changed and grown as a person.

As someone who has sent a son off to college, this really hit home. No longer does my son need me to wash his clothes, make his dinner, or apply band-aids and kisses to scraped knees. He lives on his own as an adult and calls to tell me about his lectures, his job, or the essay writing service that’s been helping him with his college assignments. Our relationship has changed, yes, but it is just as valuable and I’d much rather live in the present and be there for him now rather than mourning the relationship we had when he was young.

2. The Importance of Keeping Them Safe

This is a dual point but to start, I want to focus on one of the things the movie highlights: keeping your kids safe. The movie itself points out the danger of drugs by showing the statistic that drugs are the leading cause of death in those under 50.

As parents, it’s hard to have a conversation with your kids about such hard topics and, even when we do, we don’t want to scare them with the intensity of the danger they face. We don’t want to tell our kids that they could die if they do hard drugs but it’s the truth and it’s our job to ensure that our kids know the truth behind hard topics like drugs.

3. You Can’t Always Keep Them Safe

That point being made, there is the paradox of the fact that as much as we try, it’s impossible to protect your child from everything. At the end of the day, kids will make decisions for themselves and those decisions won’t always be the best.

From our perspective, we often see these poor decisions and hand out punishments or groundings to teach them a lesson. However, this doesn’t always solve the problem—especially if it’s as far along as the problems presented in Beautiful Boy.

In these cases, it’s crucial that a parent approaches the situation with the understanding that is required to lead to healing or resolution. The end goal is to help your kids recover from bad decisions or unfortunate situations and give them the love and support they need to get back on their feet.

It also shows that, no matter what the situation, we have to delay judgment. Referring back to the film, addiction is a hot topic that many judge one another for and if David refused to do anything but judge his son, he wouldn’t be able to offer Nic true help. His struggle for understanding is relatable to any parent who’s dealt with rebellious or unexpected behavior but the ability to put your child before you is the hallmark of a dedicated and loving parent.