2x Cheating...Why Me???
First Husband...Cheated...First Divorce...Part 1
While growing up, all young girls dream of their prince charming. Who knew that prince charming could end up being a cheater.
At the age of 19, I met a guy named Phil from my sales job. He sold computers while I sold portable electronics. He was 5 years older than me and I never thought he had an interest in me. I started becoming intrigued when we would hang out on the weekends with mutual work friends.
We started to date soon after and we would try to spend as much time as we could because he lived near college. Besides spending time near home, we would then begin to spend time at his apartment during the week. After school finished, Phil and I were able to spend a lot more time together. We went out for over 5 years and we got engaged.
It was October of 2000 that we said our vows and got married. We never moved in together until after we got married. We bought our first home together. The both of us in the "honeymoon stage" was very happy with living together, but that because short-lived after a few years when Phil was not getting enough attention at home.
I worked a full-time job and owned a dance studio. My dream was always to be in the dance field. My husband was very accomodating and helped out where he could with the dance studio. After a while, I feel he later regretted having the dance studios after we purchased a second dance studio. It became more stressful and I went from full-time to part-time with my job.
As the time progressed, more and more I believe my husband was taking a step back on our marriage. He always had a temper on him and he would get angry at sometimes the littlest of things, so this was nothing new that I did not know. There was a girl at work that worked within the same office as Phil. The office was very small, so a few employees would work in the same office.
Apparently this work relationship started to become more of a friendship as she would go to lunch with him, they were talking outside of work, and even he asked if she could be a part of my summer dance classes. Something so innocent as her taking dances, or at least I thought, she was trying to get to know me since she is friends with my husband.
Many months later, I began to question him and have doubts about the strength of our marriage. I called out of work one day and decided to go onto his computer to check his email. That is when I found a couple emails of short stories that included the two of them in the stories and they were not so innocent stories. These became sexual, which really made my stomach turn just reading what I was reading. These were stories that my husband wrote on his own. My thoughts were correct, something was up with his behavior.
I decided to go a step further and found phone records and text messages between the two of them, while I am at the dance studio in the evening or late in the evening when I come home and eat dinner while watching shows that I recorded that day. I could not believe what I found and for how long I found them. This was too much and I confronted him. We decided to try therapy through the church and see where this takes us.
We went for a couple months together and the therapist wanted to work with my husband and his behavior and thoughts. After a year, this was around the year 2004, I still did not feel anything progressed with us and just felt that we were growing more and more apart. I loved him, but just as the song says, "sometimes love just ain't enough". I moved out of the house and after about almost 2 years we started the divorce proceedings.