I was that 17 year old, Quiet girl with no friends going to high school. In my life my mom was always a busy person and I barely got the love I needed growing up from her. So of course the minute someone showed more interest than my own mother I fell for it a bunch of times, which eventually just got me into some situations. So i had finished my junior year of high school and had my first son in July of 2012. When it was time to go back for my senior year I just could not focus on school because he was only a few months old when I had to put him into a child care and I was so nervous. That’s when I decided I was going to leave school and take care of him full time.
After all of that, the father of my child said “lets go to Puerto Rico to live” and I responded “Why not!” Right? He had everything handled (or so I thought) and I trusted him. I thought I would be able to get on my feet and find a job, or at least go back to school. Instead I just felt stuck. That is when everything went downhill. He was barely making enough to support the 3 of us to the point my mom would send me money all the way from Lawrence Massachusetts. Just so we could have food to feed our son. We were living in his mothers house with his other sibling, their partner and children. NOT the life I was expecting. I wanted to be at our own place where I could feel comfortable. And sadly I was not. The father of my son began acting weird. Eventually I found out he was cheating on me. That was it, I was taking my power back. I packed up, and moved back to Lawrence, Ma.
Nothing was easy anymore after this. I thought I’d figure it out by now. Instead I was back to living with my mother who was still struggling and living with my aunt. I remember the dullness of the room we shared. There were two very small windows and cream walls surrounding. It was my mom, my son, and myself in that one small room making the best of it. Of Course I decided to go back to high school and finish my last year. They almost didn’t take me back because it was a technical school. (You had to be accepted into Technical schools and where I dropped out I had to find a way back.) This lead to me losing a little more faith. Until they reached out and told me “If we take you back you have to promise to get good grades and graduate.” Faith hit me again! I’m like of course! I got this! I jumped with joy. I had to get my son back into childcare so I could achieve my goals. The childcare had a bus that would pick him up every morning and drop him off every afternoon when I gto back from school. Everything was going well, I ended up graduating. I thought I’d figure life out by now. But that’s not the way life works. I was just lost and stuck all over again.
My aunt that I lived with at that time and I got into an argument. I can’t recall what it was exactly about, but I can admit it was probably nonsense. My living situation became more uncomfortable after that. I had to remove my son and I from her home and we ended up moving in with grandmother. I am super grateful for my grandma, she’s always been there for me no matter what. At this point I started looking for jobs. I couldn’t believe how tough it was to find work. Eventually my mom reached out. She had a friend that his daughter use to work for Wendy’s and her friend happened to be General Manager at the Wendy’s down the street from my grandmothers house. I thought yes this is great! I went for my interview and she hired me within that week. I was only working there for about 2-3 months when she then asked me if i wanted to be a manager. I was in complete shock. She said she saw a lot of potential in me. I needed more money and hours to support my son and myself so I agreed to this opportunity.
At this point I’m 18 years old, living with my grandmother and raising my son while managing Wendy’s. You would think by then I had enough saved up to afford a place for my son and I. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Every time I felt like I was 20 steps ahead, I would get knocked back like 15. Here came that feeling again. I began to feel like I was starting back from zero. And believed this was all life’s meant to be for me.At that point something shifted inside of me, I was living just to survive. I searched for new job opportunities, but nothing worked out. I could not find a way to get situated no matter what I did. Was I created for failure? Why wasn’t I enough? Should I have trusted my sons father? All the pain I’ve lived there was no going back.Fast forward to nine years later. I know we’re all anticipating for the happy ending, right? Well here’s the reality. Yes I went onto obtaining my license, financing a Nissan Rogue and settling into a three year relationship.Everything seemed to be going well. But life’s no fairy tail… April 2020 we’ve fallen into a pandemic. I also ended up having two more children and surprise I’m pregnant with my next. This makes my youngest only ten months apart. Again I felt lost with no job so I can be home with my youngest. My spouse got laid off. I had to find a part time job to pay whatever I can to survive. Life is all about up and downs and what you make of it. That is my story of being a baby with a baby.
About the author
Ever since I turned 17 my life has been a crazy roller coaster. I am 27 years young 😊and I’m still trying to figure out life. I am a mom of 4 and it is pretty hectic, but I love it. Writing pieces of myself to share with others.