10 Ways to Boost Your Child's Self-Esteem

Positive self-esteem is fundamental to a child's emotional and psychological well-being. It significantly affects their ability to form meaningful relationships, and how successful they are academically and, ultimately, in their chosen career.

In this article, we look at 10 things you can do as a parent to help increase your child's self-esteem.

1. Be Consistent

Children thrive on stability and predictability. It allows them to feel safe and secure. Children also need firm boundaries, so they have a clear understanding of what they can and can't do. It's really important to ensure that you are consistent in enforcing those boundaries. Otherwise, children receive mixed messages, and this makes them feel uncertain and insecure.

2. Focus on the Behaviour, not the Child

Avoid labelling your child "good" or "bad", and focus instead on the behaviour that is in issue. If a child is regularly told that they are "naughty" or "bad", then they are likely to start behaving in accordance with that label. Conversely, labelling a child "good" is unlikely to produce the intended result, because the label is neither specific nor measurable (more on this below).

Instead, focus on describing the behaviour, not the child. Be specific about what it is you are encouraging, or wishing to deter. It is also helpful to reassure your child that, irrespective of their behaviour, you will always love them unconditionally.

3. Show your respect for your child

the best approach to teach your child to respect their parents and other people is by acting respectfully yourself. When a youngster is respected, they are more likely to respect others.

4. Recognize and respect your kid's feelings and emotions

Children can feel upset over issues that adults may find to be quite trivial. However, it's critical that we respect the legitimacy of our children's sentiments and offer them support, assurance, and advice on how to handle their "big feelings". This is crucial if you want kids to eventually learn how to control their own emotions.

5. Give your Child a Choice

Wherever possible, give your child a choice rather than dictating what they must do. This is far more empowering for a child, and affords them with a sense of responsibility for the decisions that they make, and their outcomes.

6. Give lots of cuddles

This one is pretty self-explanatory! Cuddling helps strengthen the parent-child bond and is a great way of showing your child how much you love them. To coin a well-known saying, actions speak a thousand words.

7. Be there

Allocate a certain amount of time to focus solely on your youngster. This makes it quite evident that they are significant in and of themselves.

there are never enough hours in the day due to the busy nature of life. So it's simple to say things like, "I'll be with you in a minute," or "I've just got to do this first" in response to your child. Keep your word when making commitments in these circumstances. If not, your child will get the impression that they are not important to you. The self-esteem of our kids may suffer if we do this too frequently.

So, make a concerted effort to put time aside for your children. It will pay dividends as far as boosting your child's self-esteem is concerned.

8. Rewarding Behavior Outperforms Punishment

Focus on rewarding or praising your youngster instead of correcting them whenever feasible. Positive reinforcement is a much more successful tactic than punishment when dealing with younger children. Furthermore, positive reinforcement can boost a child's level of self-motivation. Similar is so that the youngster would be inspired to repeat this behaviour in the future by the rewarding experience of receiving praise for their efforts.

Effective compliments are quantifiable and targeted.

The most effective forms of praise involve honest and spontaneous words of encouragement that focus on your child's effort, not the outcome.

So, for example, saying to a child,

"I really liked the way you worked so hard to tidy your room"

focuses on and praises the effort, and is specific and measurable. The child can, therefore, reproduce the behaviour and is likely to do so, because the experience had a positive outcome. On the other hand, saying to a child,

"You're such a good boy"

is neither measurable nor specific. The child does not know how to reproduce the outcome that resulted in praise. There is now an expectation that the boy cannot meet, so he feels like a failure.

9. Give your child responsibilities

Helping with the household chores allows a child to feel that they are a valued member of the family. Make sure the jobs you give your child are manageable so that they experience a sense of achievement when they accomplish them.

While some jobs may be considered part of contributing to the family unit, others could be considered extras. You might decide that your children can earn pocket money when they complete these extra tasks. This is a great way for them to learn the value of money.

10. Allow your child to take healthy risks

Taking healthy risks is an important part of a child's development. When a child takes a risk and succeeds, they experience a sense of excitement and achievement. If the outcome is not positive, then the child learns a valuable lesson. Either way, it's an important learning experience for the child.

Conclusion

Parents play a vital role when it comes to the development of their child's self-esteem. A child raised with positive self-esteem receives a passport to a happy and successful future. What greater gift can a parent give to a child?

Formerly a London lawyer, Sharon Henderson relocated to New Zealand, where she retrained as a secondary school teacher, teaching English, Business and Legal studies at two Auckland schools.